The Grass Isn't Greener On The Other Side

    Last month I changed jobs. I went from a factory job to a call center. I was excited about all the perks of the new job. Working from home, no more dirty work clothing, etc. I have a handful of years of customer experience in different areas, so I figured I could handle it. The first week was great, and training was progressing smoothly. The second and third weeks started getting stressful the closer we got to finishing our training before taking live customer calls. I prayed over my anxiety and, between my hubby and a few other people encouraging me. I felt better. Nervous, but better.

    Then last Thursday, we started taking live calls. Oh man, stressful. At the end of my shift on Friday, my supervisor pointed out a few mistakes I had made over the last two days and it threw me over the edge. The mistakes were easy enough to fix and I knew that logically, but when stress and anxiety enter the room, logic exits. My stress and anxiety levels were at an all-time high. I got off work and called my mom, and through my tears, I vented and told her I was looking for new work. I knew it had only been two days, but I couldn't do this job.

    Hubby and I decided I would take Monday off and hand out resumes and get out of this call center job. That didn't reduce my anxiety though. I spent the entire weekend dealing with one very long intense anxiety attack. So much so that I could not even look at the corner of our living room where my work computer was sitting. I spent the weekend watching "The Golden Girls" and sleeping. That tv show calms me down a little.

    Monday morning arrived, and I headed out with resumes. I returned to the factory I had left a month ago, hoping they would take me back. I knew I had reasons why I left the factory  I was working in but I also knew that they were nowhere near as bad as the anxiety I was facing from the call center. So I went into the office with my resume and said I wanted to apply for my old job. The receptionist took my resume and said she would give it to the hiring manager when she got out of a meeting. I said thank you and continued handing out more resumes. Monday afternoon, the hiring manager called and set up a meeting with me for Tuesday morning. I happily accepted it. I proceeded to pray over the meeting. Prayed that it would go smoothly and that the factory would remember my work ethic and take me back. Sure enough, God showered me with His grace and mercy, and the factory remembered me favorably and agreed to take me back. It pays to work hard and not burn bridges, even if you think you will never return to that place. I then finished my work day at the call center. Okay, I didn't finish the day. I quite an hr an a half before the day ended and then took the computer back to the office. Then came home and cleaned up the corner where my computer was sitting. I decided earlier that day that I wanted to transform the corner from a work corner to a cozy reading corner. Taking it from a stress-inducing corner to a relaxing corner.

    I spent the evening tidying our apartment and preparing for the next day. My anxiety and stress had been so intense for a sold week that it took an entire evening and into the next morning to come down. Longer than I had expected. I figured once I handed the computer back I would feel instantly relieved, but I guess when you have been on an emotional high for a week straight it takes some time to come down from it. That's okay though.

    The next morning, Wednesday, I happily headed to the factory and returned to my old job. It was a good and hard day. I had spent the last month sitting at a desk not using any muscles and then I returned to a standing position sanding spoilers for the back of cars. My muscles were not prepared for that. By the end of the day, my arms were numb from sanding, my neck and shoulders were sore from leaning over the spoilers, and my legs from standing. But I was and am so happy to be back there. Throughout the day, I would stop and take a minute to stretch and every time I did I thought that even though I was sore, it was so much better than the stress I had faced a few days before.

    It is now the weekend. I have been back at the factory for three days now. Yes, I'm sore but so grateful. I learned a valuable lesson this past week. It isn't always greener on the other side. A cleaner work environment does not equal greener grass. I have never been more grateful to be in a factory than I am now. Guess I needed a perspective adjustment.

    For years my perception of factories has been that they are for uneducated people and that it's a dead-end job. That may be true for some it isn't for all.

    Working in the call center made me realize that I am built for physical jobs and not desk jobs. Makes sense, I spent the last several years working physical jobs, all while wanting to return to customer service. But call centers are very different then the other customer service positions I have held over the years. It also made me realize that I can handle a whole lot more physical pain than mental pain. I can handle sore muscles, yes, they are not pleasant, but I can manage. Where I have come to realize that I crumble under mental pressure. I am grateful to know this newfound fact about myself though. I hadn't thought about my ability to handle mental stress vs physical stress before. Yes, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression a few years ago, but most days they do not get too much in the way of my everyday routines. This time they did and it concerned both myself and my hubby with how I handled the stress and anxiety. I did not eat for a week. Instead of consuming 1,500 to 2,000 calories a day, I was consuming closer to 500 to 1,000 at the most. Thankfully I am back on track now and working at putting back on the few pounds I lost.

    All in all, it's been a heck of a week. I am grateful for the lesson I learned this last week, that the grass is not greener in customer service vs a factory. I believe God wanted my perspective of factories to change, so He gave me a customer service position that I thought was a dream come true to show me that it is okay to work in a factory. I still believe that God handed me the call center job, but now I understand why. I thought it was so I could dress up every day like the girly girl I am, now I know it was about my perspective of factories. Yes, the area I currently work in is dirty and smelly, but it's still an important job that needs to be done. This can be said about all jobs in a factory. Regardless of what your factory produces, whether that be car parts or pickles, the public needs that product and therefore your job is needed and important.

    When I first arrived at this factory I was grateful for a job, and even though it was not a glamorous job, I knew someone needed to do it, so why not me. During my initial time there my opinion changed, and I wanted out. Now I am back to the same opinion. Not a glamourous job, but still an important one that I am now more than ever, happy to do. I can now say that I expect to stay here for a while.

    So there it is friends, I am back in the factory and thrilled. Are there any areas in your life where you think the grass is greener on the other side? I am sure we can all think of a few. In fact, I am thinking of a few other areas in my life where I need to water the grass on my side a little more and not compare the grass on the other side of the fence.

Thank you for reading and sharing my experience with me this week.

God Bless

~Hannah

I wanted this week's photo to be of my new cozy reading area, but I haven't finished transforming it yet. So a picture of my best friend will do very nicely instead. Plus the grass is really green in this photo.

The Power of Words

    Three weeks ago I started a new job. The first few days were a mix of stress and excitement as I settled into my new routine and began to learn about my job. We started training, and it was going well. Then it began to get more complicated, and I started to stress and get anxious. I began to question whether or not I could do this job.

    I was praying about the job and asking God for direction. I told God that He had brought me the job. Then He reminded me that I needed to "show up" meaning I needed to pay more attention to the training and take better notes. So I accepted my discipline from God and started working harder. Still felt lots of anxiety though, and it was starting to remind me of a job I had a year ago where I would cry and have anxiety attacks every day before going to work. I was questioning this job so much that I started to look for other work. Then one day, I was venting to my hubby, who then unknowingly gave me a word from God. I knew exactly what I needed to do.

    I was afraid that once I started taking customer calls I would freeze, panic, and forget everything I had learned. I needed to make a fancy detailed cheat sheet to help guide me while I assisted customers. I had notes, but they needed to be detailed. So I prayed and asked God what my cheat sheet should look like and He directed me. He took my anxiety away and guided me through making my new aid.

    So I continued learning about my new role and working hard to make my cheat sheet. I mentioned my cheat sheet to my trainer, to a) clarify that I could make it and b) to see if I could work late outside of our normal hours to work on it. He loved the idea and encouraged me to make it. He also said that there would be time within the next couple of days where I would be able to work on it and wouldn't need to work after my scheduled shift to finish it. Wonderful news.

    Later that week, my sister and I were on the phone chatting about life and our families. I updated her on my new job. Told her I am now working in customer service from home. Before even telling her about my stress about the job she instantly said that the job was right up my alley. Major confidence boost. She's not wrong, of course. I enjoy talking to people and I am loving the perks of working from home. She reminded me that yes, it would be scary, but once I have dealt with each possible customer problem once then I will be good and it will then be a breeze. Sisters are so helpful. If you do not have one, I strongly suggest you find yourself one. You may not have a biological sister, but a close girlfriend is just as good.

    So over the last few days, I have been working hard to make sure that I am ready to assist customers once I am officially out of training and into production. Then today, the sweetest thing happened. We were going over our test results from our latest knowledge check that we took on Thursday. Simply making sure we are taking in the information and will be ready to help customers. To my surprise, I received 100% on the test. After I had taken the test on Thursday, I was afraid that I had missed a question and therefore may not have passed. Turns out I passed with flying colours. A few of my classmates did not do so well and ended up retaking the test. While my classmates were taking the test, the trainer and I had a chance to visit for a few minutes. We were discussing my progress over the last week and he was saying that I was among the top of the class. What an encouragement that was. A week ago I was looking for a different job, and now this week I am on the verge of feeling ready to assist real customers with their car issues. It just goes to show that when you work hard and obey God, He will do amazing things for you.

    Please do not take this as me bragging. That is not my intention. My intention is to say that when we obey God and accept our discipline when needed, He blesses us. He brought three different people along my path this week to encourage me and tell me that I am on the right path and will do just fine.

    My reason for writing this post is to remind myself and anyone who reads these words that words have power. Power to build people up or tear them down. After receiving all this encouragement these last few days it has made me want to be more intentional about encouraging those around me and use my words to build others up more and reduce my destructive words.

    Again, none of this is to give me an ego boost. I too have flaws and lots of them. I am currently on a waitlist to see a counselor for a few of my destructive flaws. I am tired of my issues causing damage and harm to my life and the life of my family so I am now on a waitlist to see a counselor get help with my problems.

    So friends, have you been using your words lately to build others up or tear them down? If I'm being honest with myself, I know that I use more destructive words than encouraging words, and it's time to change that and build up those around me, strengthen those relationships, and build a beautiful life.

    I pray this post blesses you in whatever season you are in. Thank you for taking the time and letting me share with you my experience with encouraging words.

God Bless

~Hannah

Over the Canada Day long weekend I broke my bedtime and took pictures of the sunset. Normally I'm in bed before the sun is even thinking about setting. Then I made it pink. 😀

7th Wedding Anniversary!

     This weekend we are celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary. Monday at 2:30 pm marks exactly 7 years of man and wife. 

    Over the last few weeks, I reflected on this last year of our marriage and nearly gave myself whiplash with the thought of how much has happened. We started the year in a long-distance relationship. Hubby had started working at his grandfather's mechanic shop in Wallaceburg last Easter, and I was working in Cambridge and keeping the fires burning at home. Shortly after hubby started working in Wallaceburg, we felt God calling us to move back south. We spent the next five months driving him to London on Friday and Sunday, where his dad or brother would meet us and take him to Wallaceburg. As you can imagine, that routine got old fast. Even our car was tired of all the driving and died two weeks before our move. We weren't ready to move when the car died. We were trying to stick out our two-month notice with our apartment and then decided it was no longer worth it and moved early. I put my notice in at work and power-packed our apartment in two weeks. Not fun, by the way. Worth it, but not fun. But we made it. God used that time to help us work on our marriage, and we grew closer than we had ever been at that point, and we are even closer now. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and they are correct.

    After five months, it was time to move back to Wallaceburg and get our family under one roof. We were sad to leave Cambridge and the friends we had made over the years, but we were even more excited for what God had in store for us in Wallaceburg. When we arrived, we moved into our temporary home. We had struggled to find a home before moving, so we negotiated with my in-laws and decided to stay on some family property in a bachelor apartment until we settled and found an apartment. Five months later, we found an apartment and happily moved our family into our new home. A two-bedroom apartment with a balcony. A dream come true.

    It's been just over three months since we moved into our apartment. We are settled into our home and are working on making a life for ourselves in Wallaceburg. I am also regularly surprised that this little "in-law town" as I call it, has just about everything we need. Okay, the shopping stinks, and there is no Cardfight Vanguard Community for hubby to play in. But it has more than I expected, and I'm sure it has everything that God wants us to have.

    God just blessed me with a new job, and I am loving working from home and no longer ending my work day covered in dust and dirt. Blessing and I just finished her next level of obedience school and are now saving for her final class of obedience school before we enter into therapy dog training. I have started digging deeper into my love of photography. Now I take my camera out as often as possible. I am also getting my dog walking business going and am working out the details with my first client. I wanted to start this business when we first moved, but then I started working, but between the hours and energy that was required I decided it was not worth it. This new job does not require nearly as much energy. So even if I have one or two clients, it will be a little extra income to make our life a little more enjoyable. I was working on getting my photography business up and running, but then I felt God tell me to enjoy my hobby now and not worry about making money. That being said, if anyone wants some portraits done, I would love to connect with you and help your family create some beautiful memories.

    Since moving to Wallaceburg, God has strengthened our marriage and our relationships with Him, and we are grateful for it. We have lots of stuff to work on, but what marriage doesn't.

    We also decided that by the fall, we plan on adding another member to our family. We have been talking about it for a while now and have decided the time is right. Blessing is ready to be a big sister. She recently demonstrated her maturity and "big sister" qualities to her classmates and showed a younger classmate how to properly interact with fellow doggy friends and what manners look like. It was funny to watch. The owners told me a week later that their dog had listened to Blessing and was using his manners properly while interacting with other dogs. So now we are doing the financial prep work to bring a new fur baby home this fall. We are very excited.

    Its been a big year for our family and, we are excited to see what God has for us as we step into our seventh year of marriage. Not only was it a big and busy year for us, but it was also our best year thus far. Now we will take everything we learned this past year and make this new year even better.

    Outside of our faith and political opinions, hubby and I are polar opposite. He plays video games and I love reading. He is a couch potato and I walk six km a day. He loves burgers, meat and all things fast food and I like garden salads. He is mellow and I am high strung. They say opposites attract and boy are they right. Over the years I have disliked our differences and  wondered why we were together. Then God would remind me that we are together because God brought us together to balance each other out. He is my yin to my yang and I am so grateful for it.

    Happy Anniversary, Sweetie. I love you forever and always.

~Babe / Hannah

Our annul anniversary photo. I forgot to turn on the white balance setting on the camera, so my shirt and his shorts and a lot brighter then desired. Lesson learned.

A New Adventure

     A week ago, I started a new job that God gave me in customer service, working from home. Like any new job, the first few days were stressful due to all the newness. By day three, I was settling into my new routine and starting to learn about the computer programs for my job.

    It has been an interesting first week working from home. The first two days were stressful due to technical glitches. By Wednesday, they were fixed, and it has been smooth sailing since. The trainer is great and is doing his best to make sure we are all on board and understand everything he is teaching us. So many jobs these days just throw you into the deep end and hope you can swim. With this job, you have to be trained. Thankfully this company sees that need and gives time to do so.

    I love not having a commute. I know a few people who enjoy their commute, and I'm happy for them. I am not one of them. I feel like a commute is simply a waste of time. There are other things I could be doing instead of driving. Mainly chores around our home. Yes, I am aware my opinion on a commute being a "waste of time" does not make much sense. A commute is simply a part of life. I have tried to use that time for prayer, podcasts, etc. But despite my love of routine, I do not enjoy that part. Maybe I just don't like driving. I am enjoying my commute from our bedroom to the living room.

    I am thankful that with this new job, Blessing is not home alone all day. Meaning that if my hubby and I have somewhere to be in the evening I no longer feel bad for going out because Blessing has had company and freedom in our apartment all day. It has been fun watching her move from her bed, crate, mat by the door, and bed in our room throughout the day. She was really confused the first two days when I was home, but by Wednesday, she started to understand and now understands when mom is "at work" vs "at home."

    Another very exciting outcome of working from home is that I no longer need my steel-toe boots and can wear skits, dresses, and all things girly. 

    It is also not a physically draining job. I have energy after work now. For the last four years, my jobs have been physically intense, and by Friday, I am dragging myself to work. This Friday, I had energy all day. It was a rather exciting feeling. Sure, I assume it will be mentally draining at some point. It is customer service. But for now, I am enjoying not feeling drained.

    On my last day at the factory, I was thinking about how I would miss not having coworkers to talk to during break, and I do. I also discovered that during my break times I can get chores around my home done, where before I would be thinking about them all day and be making lists of them. Now I simply get a few things done on break, and when the work day is done, I don't need to worry about them.

    On Wednesday, I did groceries after work, and it felt so satisfying and exciting that I didn't need to shower before going to Walmart because I wasn't covered in dust, dirt, and sweat.

    Basically, this job is everything I have been wanting for years and I am very thankful for it.

    Now I am praying for the right shift time. During training, you are on the day shift. Once that is complete, they will be assigning us to shifts based on business needs. I am praying for the day shift starting at 7 am and not the afternoon shift.

    I realize that over the last two years with Covid-19 that many of you transitioned from working in an office to working from home. What was your experience like? Did you enjoy working from home or would you rather go to the office?

    I pray this post finds you well and that you have a blessed new day and week.

God Bless

~Hannah

Not my usual editing style, I was playing around with Paint.net and like how this photo turned out.

Obedience = Blessing

    Recently God and I have been on a personal development journey. He has been teaching me about my self-worth, with the understanding that I would not be leaving my job without learning this lesson. Plus, when God says He has something to teach you, you have two choices, obey or go kicking and screaming. After a few seconds of kicking and screaming, I obeyed.

    After God and I finished my lesson and, were both satisfied with the results, I started thinking about my next job. I looked over Indeed a little and saved a few posts but hadn't applied yet. The entire week (from the 30th to the 3rd) I was having brain fog and didn't take any initiative in my job search. I was not sure what was causing the brain fog, but I was too tired to fight it. Now I know it was God because He wanted to bless me.

    Then on Friday, June 3rd, God sent me an email from a company in the customer service industry that  I had applied to when I applied to my current job but turned down because they were not paying enough. Since then, they have figured out how much people need to make.

    I knew it was a mass email that was sent to many people, but, I also knew it was from God. So I applied. The field I wanted and the pay I needed.

    Tuesday, June 7th, I was contacted to set up an interview. I picked the Friday of this week for my interview. Figured I should give my supervisor a little notice that I would need to get off work a little early.

    On Wednesday, June 8th, at lunchtime, I saw a voice mail on my phone. It was from the recruitment department of the company I applied to. Saying that they wanted to move up the interview up so that it, along with a background check (dealing with customer's personal information) could be completed before lunchtime on Friday because they wanted to have me start orientation on Monday, June 13th. In three business days. So I reschedule the interview for Thursday after work and told my coworkers that I was expecting to leave my current job a whole lot sooner than expected. No, I did not have a job offer at that point but I as watched God work I got the feeling I was going to get it. Talk about a hectic lunch break. I was expecting to eat my salad and enjoy visiting with my coworkers. God had other plans. Typical. 😉

    The next day, Thursday, I had the interview and received a job offer at the end of the call. Customer Service, working from home, good pay, no more dirty, smelly factory, goodbye steel toe boots. Okay, I will miss my boots. We have gone through several jobs and lots of life together, but it's time to put them on the shelf for a while. Heck, this will be the first time in five years I will be able to come home from work and sit down on my couch before taking a shower and not worrying about getting my couch dirty from my work clothes. I will no longer have a "work wardrobe" and a "personal wardrobe." I can pack up all my "tomboy" clothes and pack them away.

    I have been praying for this job for three years now, and God has answered my prayers. As much as I enjoy my steel-toe boots, I love shirts, dresses, and high heels and want to wear them regularly and not just on Sundays. Yes, I have worn makeup to work off and on, and sometimes do my hair, but it just feels like a waste of time and product if it will be covered over by dirt in an hour. Seriously, last month I sanded raw spoilers. To those of you who have spoilers on your car. Enjoy. Like most car parts, there is a long and very detailed process to getting it onto your car. I would come home dirtier than my husband, who works in a mechanic shop.

     This morning when I got dressed I was so excited to put a skirt on with a pretty top knowing that I would be doing this a whole lot more often now and it makes me excited. I can finally go to work as the girly girl that I am and not worry about getting all dirty.

    If you are waiting on God to answer a prayer, don't lose faith. He is listening and He has a plan. Yes, it's hard to hear that in the middle of your frustration. I too get annoyed when I think I know better than God and "know" what He should be doing. Obedience is not always easy either though, there are plenty of examples in the Bible and I'm sure in our lives today that show how hard obedience really is. But the good news is that it's worth it. God is a good God and only wants what is best for us, his children.

    So that's my good news friend, and the best part about it is that it had nothing to do with me. It was all God. I simply obeyed God and He blessed me for it.

    I pray that this post blesses you and reminds you that God is faithful and good.

God Bless

~Hannah

The Son rising on a new day and new journey. Hallelujah

Took this picture as a thank you present for a family member and I love how it turned out.

Expectations vs Reality

    I recently decided that I wanted to start blessing people with my photography. I thought I would offer some portrait sessions to some friends and family. My love for photography has been growing recently, but, pictures of flowers and Blessing are getting a little boring. I need to expand my repertoire. I was going to book a session for a family member this Saturday, but by Wednesday I was exhausted and I knew I would have no people skills by Saturday. Then I decided to bless myself with a portrait session with Blessing.

    I spent the next two days getting excited and building myself up for this photoshoot. I wanted to mix a sunrise photoshoot with a portrait set. I've never had people in my sunrise shoots before so I wanted to see how it would go. I had all these ideas for poses and such, but it's harder and more time-consuming when you are both the photographer and the object of the photo. Blessing was a trouper though, she patiently stood around smelling the flowers while I set up the camera and sat nicely during the pictures themselves. What would I do without this dog?

    Turns out, not so easy. Guess I should have done more homework on how to do it. Basically, it's a lot easier if the sun is completely in the sky and not in your face or creating shadows from other angles. I'm sure there is a way to make it all work, I just need to figure out what it is. I also thought that if I  put the camera in portrait mode vs manual mode it would handle all the settings itself, and I wouldn't need to worry about my iso setting. Wrong again. After a little while, I was frustrated and no longer enjoying
myself. We packed up the car and headed home. I tried to convince myself to think of it as a learning experience and not as a failure. But I'm a perfectionist, and when you are a perfectionist, it can be hard to look at a frustrating situation and see it as a learning experience. Before leaving the park, I took a quick inventory of the pictures I had taken and found one that I was happy with and figured with a little editing it would be pretty.

    There is always next time though, and I will plan a little better. It's funny though, I am the queen of planning and organizing. Although now that I am reflecting on it, I realize that my plans don't always work. I tend to overpack my time and energy. I tend to think I can do more stuff in an unreasonable time frame. The really ironic part is that I have friends who are also great planners, but their execution fails or at least lacks much of time time. What I'm trying to say is that a) I need to learn from my mistakes, and b) I need to give others more grace in areas where they struggle because no one is perfect.

    So what areas in your life did you once consider yourself supreme to others? Do you also need some self-reflection? I assume the answer is yes, because, no one is perfect.

    I hope this post finds you at the end of a restful weekend and ready to take on the challenges of next week.

God bless

~Hannah

 The one and only good photo from our photoshoot.

More than a Paycheck.

    It all started when God said I was not leaving my current job. Despite how much I dislike my current job. Thankfully I quickly realized from past experiences that it meant He had something to teach me. So I said, "Okay, I'm listening because I want to get the heck out of this job."

    But then He told me He wanted to teach me about my self-worth, and I knew it would get messy, and I do not like a mess. Thankfully it only took about a week, an ugly tear heart-to-heart with my hubby and a handful of rejection emails from companies I had been applying to before I got on board. God got my attention.

    For most of my life, I have struggled with my self-worth. For most of my adult life, my worth has come from my ability to do. To work and earn a living, to cook/clean. To do anything "productive."

    For the last number of years, weekends have been a struggle because a) I have no routine (something I can/should fix myself)  and b) I am not doing anything "productive" and, therefore, I am worthless. Yes, I am hard on myself. There is nothing wrong with working hard. I was raised by a workaholic and a hard worker who likes to putter around. Neither of those titles is intended to be insulting. I love and respect both of my parents and appreciate the work ethic that they instilled in me.

    But I'm tired of determining my self-worth from the number of hours worked, the size of my paycheck, and how clean my home is. I've known for a long time that I need to go to God for my self-worth, after all, He did create me, and therefore, I should be going to Him for my self-worth. He wanted to tell me I'm valuable, and He wants to tell you too.

    But being the stubborn and independent woman that I am, I wanted to do it on my own. I wanted to earn my worth. All it leads to is stress, anxiety, depression, and exhaustion.

    So after that heart-to-heart with my hubby, he reminded me of my need for Jesus in that area of my life and that only Jesus can tell me that I'm worth it. It was then that I decided that I am tired of feeling this way and time to go to God. Of course, He was happy to listen and teach me just how much I mean to Him.

    I started by digging into my Bible and reading verses and passages about His love for me. Bible verses I have read a thousand times, but I needed the refresher. The Bible says that it is alive and active and sometimes we just need to read a verse with fresh eyes for God to reveal something new to us. A few days later, I had read a handful of Bible verses and was coming to accept my God-given worth. As head-knowledge anyways. Head knowledge is not enough. We need to believe it in our hearts and souls.

    So once I accepted my newfound knowledge of my God-given worth, I received an invitation for a "pre" interview meeting. That way they could put a face to the name and decide if they wanted to bring me in for a full interview. The interview was successful, and it sounded like I would be getting an interview. A few days passed, and I asked God why I hadn't been contacted. He said," You are the one holding yourself back." and I said, "Okay, then we have more work to do." So I started praying that it would go from head knowledge to heart knowledge.

    I was desperately hating my job, getting more miserable with every passing day. But God knew that and I knew I just wanted to get this "lesson" over with so I could get out of this job. Once I confessed to myself and God that I was praying with the wrong motive I started praying for myself and not just to get out of my job.

    By the end of the week, I was praying hard. On Thursday, the "wall" between head versus heart knowledge started to come down. Not all at once, but a good start. The next day, Friday, I spent time at work telling myself that I am more than a paycheck and the "wall" continued to fall. Around noon on Friday, my supervisor came and asked if anyone in my department wanted to work overtime the next day. We all said no. Once he left, I started to feel bad and regretted my decision. I felt the need to work the next day, even though I had made plans and was looking forward to them. I started telling myself that "I'm more than a paycheck." Over and over, I repeated it until the bad feeling went away, and I started to cry tears of joy. Because I finally believe that I am allowed to enjoy the activities I had planned for the weekend and not feel bad for saying no to overtime.

    So there we have it, friends, I finally found my God-given worth and it brings me to tears yet again because I can finally stop striving for the empty "worth" that the world gives and rest in the worth that God has freely given to you and me when He died on the cross for us.

    I don't say all this in a prideful way or in an attention-seeking way. Yes, I know I share my blogs on Facebook, and so much of Facebook is for attention or at least that's what it feels like. I share because I want you to find your worth in Christ too. Whether you are a seasoned believer and need a little reminder. Been a believer for years but never accepted this part, like me. Or, you don't know Jesus as your Lord and Savior yet. If that last one is you, what are you waiting for? If you are waiting until you are "good" enough, then I have good news for you. God loves every part of you. Mess and all. Plus I hate to burst your bubble, but no one is "good enough," only Jesus.

    So, friends, I'm going to sit back and enjoy my God-given worth and watch a chick flick with Blessing while my hubby is out and not feel guilty.

    And now that I have learned and accepted the lesson God had for me, I will wait and see what job He has for me next and remember that a) He is my provider and b) the number on my paycheck doesn't mean much.

    I pray this post blesses you right where you are today and that you either already know your worth or will soon.

Love

~Hannah

Enjoyed a guilt free morning of photography and captured this beauty outside our front door. 

This little town is starting to grow on me.