Food Anxiety

    For upwards of the last 8 years, I have struggled with what I'm going to call 'food anxiety ' for lack of a better word. I have spent the majority of my working adult life taking salad with me to work for lunch because I stressed about not eating healthy enough. In my head, if it wasn't a salad. It wasn't healthy. For lunch anyway.

    I also have a salad every day because I am a creature of habit and routine. So buying salad ingredients for lunch every week is easy and predictable. It doesn’t require any thought or planning. There is no anxiety in the morning about what I will take for lunch because I already know what I will be taking. So the idea of changing things up wasn't something I wanted to do.

    Hubby and I have always tried to eat healthy enough; last year, he was tired of his weight and wanted to make some changes. With God, he went on an incredible weight loss journey, and in that process, I worked along side of him and started cooking healthier.

    One night a week or so ago, I was making supper and thinking about how healthy we really do eat these days. We eat a veggie omlette 5 out of 7 days of the week. I was eating a salad for lunch, and he had a chicken leg. That evening, I was pondering our eating habits while making chicken fajitas. I realized that 85-90% of our meals are homemade from scratch. Including a good combination of protein, veggies, some carbs and healthy fats. I am proud of the progress we have made with our food choices. Anyways, as I served supper that night, I realized that I was done with salad for work and would start bringing leftovers or something else entirely. I went to Pinterest for some inspiration. I landed on a variation of an adult Lunchable and all the different elements you might want in your lunch. Such as protein, cheese, something crunchy, fruit, etc. Part of the reason why I always ate salad was that I was afraid I wouldn't get enough veggies in me, but I'm still getting enough and am enjoying packing the different 'elements' to an adult lunchable. We have also always been bad for lefovers being forgotten and going bad in the fridge, so this will also help with that.

    So, why am I sharing my change of lunch menu choices with you? Well, honestly, partly because one of my goals this year is to write a blog post every week. I’m a little behind now. The last few weeks have been a bit busy. I wanted this post to be published for the last week of April, but that didn’t work. God has been working on some big things with me recently, but I haven’t written about them yet. So yes, this post is partly a “filler” post. But maybe there is someone out there who has had a similar food struggle as I have had and will find encouragement from it. Either way, I decided I wanted to share with you my recent dietary changes.

I pray this encourages, blesses, or challenges you, friend.

God Bless

~Hannah

Mary vs. Martha

    Luke 10:38-42. 38 Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at [a]Jesus’ feet and heard His word. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.”

    41 And [b]Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. 42 But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”

    I'm Martha in this story.

    This past Sunday, I was feeling exhausted in the morning and therefore a little prickly around the edges. Hubby asked what was going on. I told him I was exhausted, but I didn't feel I had the right to be, because we don't have kids. Looking back now, that logic makes no sense. Kids are not the only reason for being tired.

Anyway, hubby reminded me that I had been burning the candle at both ends. He was right. I had been overdoing it and starting to burn out.

    Our home is not spotless, but I do my best. And the idea that someone might walk into my apartment and see me relaxing with a book while there is housework to be done terrifies me. Again, not logical, no one is going to just walk into our apartment without notice. I wanted to share this part with you in case you, too, struggle with this issue. I wanted to encourage you that you are not alone. Being found resting while there are non-essential chores to be done. In my head, if someone were to walk into my home and see me in this situation, it would make me feel lazy and devalue myself in their eyes. I’m learning to remind myself that that situation is not likely to happen and that the person coming into my home does not get to dictate my worth. Only God does. Because of this fear and another issue, I struggle to sit down and relax. The other half of my issue is that I struggle with attaching my worth to my work. Something else God and I are working on.

    During worship at church later that morning, God told me I was being Martha. I don't recall my exact thought in response to His conviction, but it was something like, 'yeah, you are right." I prayed and asked for forgiveness at the end of the service. I wasn't a shocking conviction by any means. But it did get my attention. I told hubby about it on our way home. His response was, 'yikes.' I told him I wasn't upset.

    There is a time to get things done and a time to spend with the Lord. But time with the Lord does need to come first. When we put Him first, He will give us all the time and energy needed to get everything else done.

And yes, traditionally, or at least here in the west, it's common place that when you are hosting people, you are likely not sitting down. Because you are refilling drinks, taking empty plates, etc. The way that the story reads suggests that there probably was pleasantly of time to serve later on, meaning that Martha could have sat at Jesus feet and taken in the message before serving the meal. But, if she had done that they it may not have been recorded in the Bible and would be a lesson for us today. I’m so thankful for these two women and many other women in the Bible that we get to read about. Because it shows us that we are not alone in our struggles. There are times when we read their stories and think to ourselves, “I would never do that,” and then somewhere down the road, we find ourselves in their shoes and get a serving of humble pie.

    I'm not saying there isn't a time and place for a busy day or a fuller schedule. But when the Savior of the world is in your home, visiting and preaching, you should be sitting and listening. But the poor woman was in autopilot and doing what she knew to do. Serve. But, in that moment, there was a better option. One that she missed out on, but we don’t have to anymore. He may not be physically in the room with us, but He is in our hearts and is with us always, which means we have even more opportunity to spend time with Him than she did.

    So, the next time you find yourself doing a chore that doesn’t really need to be done in that moment, ask yourself if there is something else better that you could be doing. Should you spend some more time with the Lord in your prayer closet or maybe unwind with a bubble bath? Take a step back, and check your heart and motives and see if there is something more beneficial that you could enjoy instead.

    

The world celebrates Martha, but God celebrates Mary. Let’s be more like Mary.

I pray this encourages, teaches, challenges, and blesses you today, friend.

God Bless

~Hannah

It's time to stop amd take a break.

Our Response to the Empty Tomb

    Last weekend, we celebrated Easter. On Friday, we celebrated Good Friday and the sacrifice that Jesus made for us by dying on the cross. He suffered a horrific beating beforehand, then had to walk through town with the cross, and finally was nailed to it and then hung to die. All while being mocked and ridiculed. Thank you,Father God, for sending Jesus to die for my sins, and thank you, Jesus for being obedient to the Father and going to the cross for me. And demonstrating the ultimate form of love.

    My hubby and I watched The Passion of the Christ on Friday night. At one point, after he was beaten and bruised, I started thinking to myself about how violent it was; if it were anyone else getting whipped and shredded to pieces like that, we wouldn't be watching the movie. Hubby reminded me that this was beautiful because through this terrible treatment, He did it out of love for us. He is right, of course. I quickly reset my mind and went back to being thankful like I was at the beginning of the movie. I share that portion with you incase you ever think the same thing, we are wrong, but you are not alone in this thought.

    Then on Sunday, we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Without the resurrection, there would be no Christian faith. Jesus would simply have been a nice man and a good teacher who was killed because the religious people of the day didn’t like what He had to say. But He wasn’t and isn’t just a nice, wise man who died. He IS our Lord and Saviour. He is our connection with our Heavenly Father and our connection to eternity in Heaven one day.

    John 20:1-18 was the text that our visiting evangelist preached through on Sunday morning. John 20:1-18  NKJV '1 Now on the first day of the week Mary Magdalene went to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb. 2 Then she ran and came to Simon Peter, and to the other disciple, whom Jesus loved, and said to them, 'They have taken away the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid Him.' 3 Peter therefore went out, and the other disciple, and were going to the tomb. 4 So they both ran together , and the other disciple outran Peter and came to the tomb first. 5 And he, stooping down and looking in, saw the linen cloths lying there; yet he did not go in. 6 Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb; and he saw the linen cloths lying there, 7 and the handkerchief that had been around His head, not lying with the linen cloths, but folded together in a place by itself. 8 Then the other disciple, who came to the tomb first, went in also, and he saw and believed. 9 For as yet they did not know the Scripture, that He must rise again from the dead. 10 Then the disciples went away again to their own homes. 11 But Mary stood outside by the tomb weeping, and as she wept she stooped down and looked into the tomb. 12 And she saw two angels in white sitting, one at the head and the other at the feet, where the body of Jesus had lain. 13 Then they said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping?" She said to them, "Because they have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid Him." 14 Now when she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, and did not know that it was Jesus. 15 Jesus said to her, *Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?" She, supposing Him to be the gardener, said to Him. "Sir, if You have carried Him away, tell me where You have laid Him, and I will take Him away." 16 Jesus said to her, "Mary!" She turned and said to Him, "Rabboni!" (which is to say, Teacher)."

    After discovering that the tomb was empty, Peter and John went home and went on with life. But Mary went searching for Jesus. She wasn't satisfied knowing that His body had been moved; she wanted to know where it was. She asked a man, whom she thought was the gardener, where Jesus's body was. She needed to find Him. As soon as the gardener opened His mouth and said her name, Mary knew that the man was Jesus. She found Him.

    

    Jesus did His part and faithfully went to the cross for us. Now it's time we do our part and seek Him. He isn't hiding, but He does want us to put forward effort to seek after Him and find Him. It's not enough to know that the tomb is empty; we have to search for Him and find Him. We will find Him. He wants to be found by us. But He wants us to be intentional and seek Him. We have to respond to the empty tomb by seeking after Him and building a relationship with Him. Whether you are a new believer or you have loved Him so long you don't remember life before Jesus. We have to continue to seek after Him and deepen our relationship with Him. Every day this week, God has reminded me of that. And every day I am responding and seeking after Him and deepening my relationship with Him. Was I already seeking Him before that sermon? Yes, but I am now doing it with a renewed passion.

    I pray this message encourages and challenges you to respond to the empty tomb and seek after our Lord and Saviour. Hallelujah! He is risen! I pray blessings over you today, friend, as you enter into this next season of seeking after Jesus.

God Bless

~Hannah

Give to Caesar What is Caesar's.

    Back in December, my company decided to shut down for the two weeks around Christmas, and anyone who wanted to could apply for EI. They said to apply for the whole two weeks, including the statutory holidays. They figured it would be fine because we would be paid out later on for the holidays, and therefore we could claim the whole two weeks. Unfortunately, they were wrong.

    So, mid January, a bunch of us received letters saying we owed the government money back. We were not pleased. We had been given advice from our HR department that was faulty, and now we're in trouble for it.

    I spent some time praying about it and asking God what He wanted me to do about it. Our HR department said that they wanted copies of our bills, and then they would decide what they would do about it. Whether they would pay us back for the mistake or ask us to pay it back. So, I emailed them a copy of mine and waited. In the meantime, I prayed and asked God what He wanted me to do. God told me to pay the bill. To give to Cesar what is Cesar's.

    Matthew 22:15-22 “The Pharisees: Is it Lawful to Pay Taxes to Caesar? Then the Pharisees went and plotted how they might entangle Him in His talk. And they sent to Him their disciples with the Herodians, saying, “Teacher, we know that You are true, and teach the way of God in truth; nor do You care about anyone, for You do not regard the person of man. “Tell us, therefore, what do You think? Is it lawful to pay taxes to Caesar, or not?” But Jesus perceived their wickedness, and said, “Why do you test Me, you hypocrites? “Show Me the tax money.” So they brought Him a denarius. And He said to them, “Whose image and inscription is this?” They said to Him, “Cesar’s.” And He said to them, “Render therefore to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.” When they had heard these words, they marveled, and left Him and went their way.”

    I said, okay. I paid the bill a week later, on a Tuesday. That Friday afternoon, HR came by and told us that the company would be reimbursing us. They asked us to pay the bill and bring in our receipts. I told them I had paid my bill a few days ago and was now waiting for them to email me a receipt.

    At the end of my shift, hubby picked me up as usual, and I told him the good news. I didn’t expect them to pay us back. I was pleasantly surprised when they announced that they would be reimbursing us for it.

    When God told me to pay my bill, I did so quietly and didn't tell anyone. Throughout the process of receiving these bills and waiting several weeks for a decision from our HR department, one of my coworkers was particularly upset about the situation, and we discussed it a handful of times. They felt that the whole thing was our employers' fault and not ours. That we had acted on their advice. Which is correct. A few of my coworkers were extra smart and applied for EI, but didn't claim the stat holidays. Personally, I clued in a little too late, but I have learned my lesson and will never do that again.

    The other day, I talked again to my extra upset coworker and listened to their argument and why they felt so justified in being upset. I then felt in my spirit that it was okay to tell my coworker how God had called me to respond. I said that yes, we were given mad advice. But, we are all adults, and therefore can make decisions for ourselves and could have not claimed those days in our EI claim. We didn't have to take the advice from our HR department. I believe God wanted me to share my viewpoint and calm response to the situation with my coworker because I am a believer. This coworker of mine knows I am a believer and, from time to time, asks questions. The coworker was raised with religion vs faith and ended up walking away from the church when they got older.

    The point in all this is that a) give to Cesar what is Cesar's, and b) that as believers, we are called to act and look different from the world around us. Which I know that the majority of believers know that already. But it's true. We are called to let Jesus shine through everywhere we go. We are called to respond differently to bad news so that when the world around us sees us, they see Jesus and wonder about Him.

    Do we flawlessly represent Him every day? Of course not. Thankfully, that's where God's grace and mercy come into play. But we are supposed to be continually seeking after Jesus and strengthening our relationship with Him so that through Him, it becomes easier and easier to respond the way that He wants us to respond.

    Please hear my heart, this post is not intended to slander my employer or my HR department. I've deliberately left their names out because I don't want them to get into trouble because I shared private information. I'm sharing this experience to remind us believers, that we are to give to Cesar what is Cesar's and to God what is God's. From the sounds of it, there are going to be some repercussions for my employer, but I don't care to find out what they are. It's none of my business. Or anyone else's, for that matter.

    So friend, let's give to Cesar what is Cesar's and show the world around us how Jesus wants us to respond to difficult situations.

God Bless

~Hannah

Coffee and Metaphors.

    A few weeks ago, I decided that on a Saturday morning, I wanted to enjoy a cup of coffee while having my quiet time with God. I wanted to see if I would still have a reaction. I have IBS, and coffee is a trigger item for me. I guess some part of me thought it was a good idea. I don't recall why I thought it would work, or why I thought it was a good idea, but I did. I decided to have the coffee really early in the morning while I read my Bible, in case it didn't work and I got a stomachache. That way, I could work through the stomachache early and not allow it to take over my day. So I made a cup and enjoyed the smell and flavour as I read my Bible.

    Within an hr my stomach was mad. My digestive track did its thing, and we moved on a little while later.

The cool part, and the reason why I am sharing this, is because of what God taught me that morning. While I was drinking the coffee, I was thinking of how nice it tasted and that I had doctored it just right, but how later on I would regret it. God showed me that that's what sin is like. We justify the action in the moment and enjoy the thing in the moment, but down the road and around the corner are where the consequences lie and wait for you.

    We think it’s all fun and games until the consequences hit us. Sin looks like freedom until you try to stop the thing. The enemy wants you to think that you are free to “enjoy” whatever sin that you are getting involved in. But in reality, it's just a trap. Because the enemy only comes to steal, kill and destroy. “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they may have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” John 10:10 KJV. I thought, wow, I wasn't expecting that metaphor to come out of this 'experiment,' but cool.

    The Bible tells us in Romans 6:23 KJV. “For the wages of sin are death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord”. Not necessarily physical death, although it can result in that, but mainly spiritual death. Sin separates us from God. Isaiah 59: 2 KJV But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear.

    Anyway, I haven't written coffee off completely. I enjoy a few ice caps through the summer, and if I'm driving somewhere and am tired, I would rather have a stomachache while driving instead of fighting to stay awake. But otherwise I will continue to maintain minimal consumption like I have been doing for quiet a while. Looking back, I wonder if God put it on my heart to have coffee that morning in order to teach me and to encourage others.

I pray this encourages you with a fresh perspective on sin.

God Bless

~Hannah

No Rest For The Wicked.

    The other day, I was in our buffing department, buffing big, annoying parts that tend to take a lot of time. A coworker finished his in record time. He has also been buffing for years and, therefore, is much faster than I am. I commented on his speed. His reply was, 'No rest for the wicked.'

   I thought to myself, but I'm not wicked. I'm righteous in God's eyes. “We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf. Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Corinthians 5:20-21 NIV. He didn't mean anything by it, of course. But the Holy Spirit used it to teach me a lesson that I think I am finally ready to hear. A lesson that I have been trying to learn for a long time. My worth is not attached to my work. Yes, I will always be a hard worker, but I'm done with striving and 'earning' my worth. Isaiah 57:20-21 NIV “But the wicked are like the tossing sea, which cannot rest, whose waves cast up mire and mud. “There is no peace,” says my God, “for the wicked.”

    I told hubby about it after work, and he confirmed that I was walking away from finding my identity in my work and instead finding it in Christ. I hadn't realized that that was what I was doing. I was simply walking away from striving.

    In fact, that evening after supper, instead of puttering around and doing things for the sake of doing things, I curled up on the couch with a tea that hubby had surprised me with after work, some chocolate and my book. I relaxed for an hr and a half. Hubby was on one end of the couch, with Blessing, and I had the other end. It was beautiful.

    I am still struggling with finding my identity in Christ vs my work. But I'm working on it. No, that was not intended to be a pun or anything else. I'm working on accepting my worth in Christ and focusing on that instead of working for my worth. Work is a good thing, a gift even, given to us by God. But He never intended for us to get our worth from it.

    So, if you struggle in this area too, join me in meditating on the Word of God and what He says about our worth and about work.

I pray this encourages, challenges and blesses you in whatever way you need today, friend.

God Bless

~Hannah

Value Village Haul

    Last Saturday, hubby and I went shopping as part of our date. We ended up at Value Village. I was in the market for a new hair dryer and straightener, and we wanted a Keurig coffee maker.

    We went in and browsed wall art for a minute. We found the Keurig coffee maker, didn't love it, but thought it would do the trick. We quickly realized we needed a cart. I went and got it while hubby held the Keurig. Upon my return, I saw another display of coffee makers, including a nicer Keurig. We put the first one back and got the second one. I looked at hubby and said how good God is. He agreed. We walked through the bed and bath department on our way to hair dryers and straighteners. On our way through the bed and bath department, I saw a beautiful, pink, lace tablecloth. I quickly picked it up. It will look beautiful as a top layer of a skirt. Over a navy blue or maybe a red one. I quickly moved on in order not to spend more money. I love sourcing fabric, bed sheets in particular, from Value Village and sewing them into new items. We found hair tools and found a nice blow dryer and hair straightener. Fabric is expensive, but a bed sheet from a second-hand store is less than $10, and it’s about two meters. Which is what I need for a dress.

    I looked at hubby and said, 'Okay, we've got to go before I spend more money.' he made a comment about being blessed to have a frugal wife. I replied, 'at least it's second-hand and thus cheaper.' We got to the cash register and used a coupon for 20% off that we received when giving them a bag of donations. Our bill came to $30.70 for 4 items. The hair dryer and straightener would have been $30 each brand new, and the Keurig is $80. God is so good.

    I know that not everyone loves Value Village as I do. I also know that they are not the cheapest or best second-hand store. But, I spent my childhood shopping there and then I worked for them for a few years, so I know the good and the bad, and I will still die on a hill for them.

    They are not simply a second-hand store that is rolling in profit. Has their quality gone down and their prices gone up? Unfortunately yes. But here's the truth about Value Village that the public doesn't know. Value Village works alongside non-profits. They are a for-profit business who work along side non profit organizations. Each location has a different non-profit partner. When you donate to Value Village, they collect the goods. Put it on a big cart, the size of your couch, weigh it on a big scale, pay the non-profit for the goods, then they sort the product accordingly and decide if it can be sold or not. Lots cannot be sold. Including household garbage. Yes, people have tried to donate garbage. Of which we threw ourselves out after paying our non-profit for it. Then it is hung on a hanger or put on a cart to be rolled to the floor and put in its respective department. If that item does not sell, we take it back off the floor and recycle it further. We make a bail out of it if it's clothing and other fabric, or in a box, of its a kitchen appliance. It is then shipped off and sent to another wearhouse to be processed again and then donated to third world countries to help them with their own economies.

    So, the next time you start thinking negatively about Value Village or any other thrift store, please do your research. Before writing the rant portion of this post, I went to their website to confirm that the information is there, mainly so I don't get in trouble for giving out information that they may not want the public to know.

As I finished writing this post, I started wondering why they don't make this knowledge more publicly known. The Holy Spirit then reminded me that, like us believers, they don't need to defend themselves. And neither do we. God knows the ins and outs of that business just like He knows the ins and outs of our hearts, and in the end, it doesn't matter if anyone else knows.

So, moral of the story, I love Value Village, and God has blessed me with many amazing shopping experiences via that store since I was a little girl.