The Sin Of Procrastination

    Last weekend, I procrastinated and didn't make my cake for the youth group dessert auction in time. On Saturday, I had my girlfriends over to sew one of the girls a dress. After we were done, I was tired and decided to make the cake later. I could have made it Friday night, but again, I decided it could wait.

    After my girlfriends left, I wanted some chocolate-covered strawberries. So I got my bag of chocolate chips out and confirmed that I had enough for the cake and my strawberries. I should have checked my zucchini as well, but didn't. I should have also baked the cake on Saturday afternoon. But I didn't.

    I decided that I would get up at the crack of dawn on Sunday and make the cake. In theory, it would have worked. But in reality, it didn't. On Sunday morning, I got up and started making it. I'm about to add the zucchini to the batter, only to find that it has gone bad. Okay, fine, put it on hold until Walmart opens and then run over and get another one. I checked and saw they opened up at 8 am on Sunday versus 7, like the rest of the week. The timeline would be cutting it close, but I figured it would work. It didn't. I ran to Walmart and back in 7 minutes. Turned on the oven and finished the batter. The pan I usually use for this cake is 11x15, and it takes an even 40 minutes to bake. The tin foil pan I purchased for the auction is 9x12. So a little smaller, which results in a deeper dish. It wasn't until it was in the oven that I remembered this detail and how it would affect baking time. I was already feeling stressed and bad before it went into the oven. As soon as I realized it would take longer, I felt even worse.

    I explained the situation to hubby and that we would be late for church. I kept checking on the cake, and it kept saying that it was nowhere near done. I'm now even more upset and feel defeated. Last year, I made the same cake for the auction, but fancier, and it didn't work out so well. I thought that if I stayed in my comfort zone and made this cake the usual way, it would work out, and I could properly enjoy donating it and bidding on a cake myself as well. But, yet again, it didn't work.

    I finally texted our senior high youth and young adults pastor and told him I could no longer donate a cake, but I would still donate towards the Overflow fund and help a student pay their way to the conference. The pastor said Thank you for the donation, and no problem about the cake.

    At this point, we are very late and will not be making it to church on time. I'm a hysterical mess and don't want to go anymore. Meanwhile, hubby is trying to decide what the best course of action is. I wanted to stay home and watch online. I didn't want to be around anyone. He is an incredible man of God and the leader of our home. He was torn between pleasing me and pleasing God, but quickly picked God and lovingly led me to church. Of which I am grateful. We left the cake at home and headed to church. I calmed down a few minutes down the road.

    As we drove down the road, I told hubby that I was going to write about the sin of procrastination. We agreed that the proper biblical word is laziness or slothfulness, but the principle still stood.

    Prior to leaving for church, I had already apologized and admitted to procrastinating. Hubby had watched a video a few days before this all happened about how procrastination was a sin because when we procrastinate, we are assuming that God will give us more time down the road to do the task, when in reality, we do not know when God will call us home.

    Long story short. It was a bad morning, and I learned a valuable lesson, and I will work hard to never repeat it again.

    As I was looking up scripture about being lazy, I also started to think about how the mistake I had made was also a lack of discipline, which is also a sin and has its own consequences. So, I will add discipline to my list of things to work on.

Laziness verses:

Proverbs 10:4 "Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth."

Proverbs 12:27 "The lazy man does not roast his game, but the diligent man prizes his possessions."

Hebrews 6:12 "We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised."

Discipline:

Proverbs 1:1-3" The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Isarel. For attaining wisdom and discipline; for understanding words of insight; for acquiring a disciplined and prudent like, doing what is right and just and fair;"

Proverbs 10:17 "He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray."

God doesn't want us to be lazy. He wants us to be disciplined. He wants us to do a good job and to get our work done ontime.

I pray this blesses and encourages you today, friend.

God Bless

~Hannah

One of my all time favourite pictures I have ever taken.

Girl Time

    I don't get out much. I work full-time and have a family whom I am blessed to love and take care of. I have a handful of friends, two of which I work with which makes it easy to spend time together. We spend our breaks at work together and get together occasionally outside of work. I've also made connections with some ladies from our church's young adults group. Along with a few interests and hobbies, I have a full life and am enjoying it.

    This past Saturday I arranged a coffee time with one of the ladies from our young adults group. We then received an invitation to a lady's praise and cardio session at church. Hosted by our young adult pastor's wife. We signed up, and upon arrival discovered a third lady from our young adults group at the praise and cardio event. We enjoyed each other's company during the workout. We then decided that the third lady should join the first one and me for our coffee chat. She happily joined. We talked for probably an hour and a half about life, faith and everything in between.

    One of the ladies is a new reader of my blog and mentioned that I hadn't posted in a while. I explained that I was going through some stuff. Of which I couldn't quite put words to, and therefore hadn't written recently. My therapist and I later worked through that stuff during our next session. With her help, I figured out the words to describe how I was feeling. I think I had writer's block. We were discussing prayer, and my struggles with praying for myself. God gave me a beak through over my issues with praying for myself. All of a sudden I wanted to write about praying for myself. As if the writer's block had been lifted. A few minutes later I wanted to write about the joy and the necessity of girl time. A weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I went home refreshed and exhausted from the workout but also filled up from the time of connection. I then went home and crashed. But in the process felt refreshed, rejuvenated and overall amazing. God is good and I'm going to be more intentional about getting out for girl time.

What about you friend, are you being intentional with girl time? If not, join me in practicing being more intentional with girl time.

I pray this post blesses and encourages you today, friend.

God Bless

~Hannah

Cup and Saucer Trail, Manitoulin Island

Praying For Myself

    For quite a while now I have been struggling to pray for myself. I don't recall exactly when it started, but I know that it ends today. It's not that I never pray for myself, but very little.

    The majority of my prayer life is for my hubby and thanking Him for our blessings. But I spend very little time praying for myself. Part of me feels selfish for praying, but that might just be the enemy talking. Another part of me feels like the majority of my life is simple and routine and therefore I can do it on my own. Which is partly true, but also prideful. Because I do need God every day. I need His grace and mercy each morning and all through the day. And yes, I know that prayer is more than just asking God for stuff. It's a conversation and it helps in building an intimate relationship with Him.

    Sometimes I struggle to pray because I'm afraid that the things I'm struggling with are so trivial that I feel silly praying. But I'm realizing now that God wants to hear about them and wants to help me deal with them. He also created me and therefore knows what I will struggle with and is expecting me to talk to him about certain topics.

    Long story short. Which isn't a story, but more a thought. Praying for yourself isn't selfish and not praying for yourself, could be considered prideful. Depending on your reasons for doing it or not doing it. It's a connection with your Heavenly Father and thinking that you don't need prayer is prideful because you are telling God that you can manage on your own, which is also a lie. No one can do life on their own. God designed us to need Him and each other. So pray for yourselves, friends.

I pray that this blesses and encourages you in your walk today friend.

Happy Sunday

God Bless

~Hannah

Capturing God's creation one picture at a time.

Working Through Insecurities With God.

    Whether we are willing to admit to it or not, we all have insecurities. Some people have insecurities about their bodies or a skill set that they either don't have or don't have enough of, and some have both. The one that I'm going to open up about today is my "high/tall" forehead. I have spent years thinking that I had a high forehead. From the wrong angle, and if my hair is tied back I look bald. Also, because I'm pale and blonde, my hairline is not necessarily as apparent as someone with more contrast between the two. Yes, I know, first-world problems. Either way, it's something I struggle with. So I have been hiding my high forehead behind bangs for years. For most of that time, I have loved my bangs. At one point my favourite way to wear my hair was a high bun with my blunt bangs curled up a bit. But it's time to face this insecurity, stop hiding behind my bangs and grow them out.

    I'm still styling them accordingly until they grow out. They have just reached the "in my eyeballs" phase. Yes, I could just pin them back while they grow out, but I don't want to change the direction of my hairline quite yet. Plus I prefer the look of simply pushing them to the side as they grow vs pinning them back.

    When I first made the decision I thought about changing the style of bang. Leave my blunt bangs behind and go back to a side-swept bang. A style that I have always loved but never really worked on me. I thought that I would give them another try. A few days later  I decided that wouldn't be the right decision either, because I would still be hiding behind my bangs and not working through my insecurities. A big reason for working through this insecurity and why I'm sharing it is because I desire to be a godly role model for the next generation of young girls and women. Part of that means being honest about the things that I struggle with and telling/showing the people around me, girls and young women in particular what God is doing in my life.

    I once had a family member who is on the heavier side comment on being insecure about their body. They then said something about how it must be easier to be smaller and have fewer insecurities. Or something along those lines. I don't recall the exact words. All I remember is almost laughing out loud and telling this person that I too, despite being the size and shape that many women want to be, have insecurities. This person was surprised.

    Shortly after deciding to grow out my bangs, I found a new style called "curtain bangs." I have since fallen in love with this style. They are the best of both worlds. They still give me a bang, but they don't hide my forehead.

    I told my therapist about this during my last session and she told me something she learned in art class. That our eyes are the middle of our head and not the top like so many including myself thought. She said that the distance from the top of my head to my eyes was the same as my chin up to my eyes. This was of great encouragement. She also taught me that if I had a shorter forehead then it would mean that my frontal lobe would not be properly developed and I wouldn't be able to process certain things properly. Meaning that it was good that I had a normal forehead. Which was also helpful. She encouraged me through my insecurities and explained that there was nothing to be insecure about.

    Between my loving husband and part of the message this morning in church I have been reminded to look to the Word of God first for answers and not the world around me or the voice in my head. I am to go to the Word of God first and allow His Word to interpret how I view myself vs what the world/my inner critic has told me. God's Word says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14 NIV. God created me beautifully and uniquely and it's my job to accept that. Something I have struggled to believe for a very long time and something I may struggle with from time to time in the future. 

    When I journaled this post a few days ago, this last paragraph was not a part of the original draft, which does happen sometimes. But tonight I was thinking about this post that was nearly ready to be published and looking at it through the lens of the message in church this morning and of the importance of going to God's Word first. I'm sharing all this now to show that I'm not perfect and that I need to practice going to God's Word first more over external sources. Which have their place, but not before the Word of God. Because he is my ultimate source and because of the fall I am a sinful human being.

    Anyway, I pray that this encourages you as you process with God any insecurities you are facing and not to feel bad, silly, etc about the insecurities you are facing. I tend to land in the camp of thinking that my insecurities, especially this one are ridiculous and don't matter in the grand scheme of things. But, if they matter to me, then they matter to God.

God Bless

~Hannah

Its a journey my friend.

February Was a Hard Month.

    February was a hard month. When I started processing this post in my head and heart in the primer booth the other day at work my inner voice told me not to bother and that no one wants to hear about my troubles. For a half second, I thought it was right. Then Holy Spirit reminded me of how the church today expects us to walk into Sunday morning service as if nothing is wrong and to say good morning and put on a happy face. I believe we are trying to break that pattern and today  I decided to "help" in those efforts.

    I'm not here to say "Woe, is me" or anything like that or to say that I have it worse than others. Simply here to vent and process for a few minutes.

    As you know, the month started with hubby's car accident. Obviously, that was a bad day. But we count our blessing with his health intact as we walked away from that accident without a hair on his head out of place. He was cleared by paramedics at the scene. He mentioned some tenderness by his right eye, we figured it was some whiplash, and the pain was gone a day or two later.

    We were blessed with a new vehicle and I am still crying over it whenever I tell someone the full story about how we received it.

    The next few weeks were tough. I'm in extended hours/overtime at work which is helpful for the bank account, but has left me very exhausted, irritable and other such emotions. Of which are unpleasant to feel and live with. I was looking back a week ago and realized that a lot, possibly all the progress that I had been making in therapy had been "undone" so to speak in February because I was simply too tired to give myself grace or remember the things I was learning. I went into autopilot and returned to my old ways, which was not helpful. On the bright side, at least I see what happened and I can move forward and learn from that mistake and try not to repeat it.

    Overtime is still ongoing, but at least I have recognized my exhaustion and such, and am trying to work with it. One more week for sure and then we will see where we are with our progress with our orders.

    The last week of February hubby got a nasty cold/big virus of some sort and he was out for a week. Like I said, it was a rough month and I'm glad it's over.

    We are a week into March now and things are getting better. I'm getting back on track with therapy and working through some problems. Hubby is back to work now and the weather is warming up now. Spring/Second Winter is here so some days I walk Blessing with her boots and coat on and other days we come home and she is covered in dirt and mud. This season I am buying her a slush suit, so no more slush to be wipped off after our walks.

    Thank you for humouring me as I vented about the stress and craziness that was February. I hope that either your month was better and if it wasn't, that you, are reminded that you are not alone in your struggles.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend Friend.

God Bless

~Hannah

He takes my breath away.

Our New Vehicle

    So, my hubby recently had a car accident, and in the process, our car was totalled. Hubby walked away without a hair on his head out of place. Praise the Lord. After the initial shock of it all, we then started discussing our next vehicle with my father-in-law, who is our mechanic and used car dealership. The night of the accident he didn't think there was anything currently available in the shop parking lot. So we figured we might be waiting a bit before we had a new one. The next day he texted us pictures of an SUV that was in fact, sitting in the shop parking lot. Hubby had decided after his accident that he wanted us in an SUV next. We looked at the pictures and agreed that we both liked it.

    Later that day we found out that the SUV belonged to a family friend/mechanic at the shop. So one of hubby's coworkers. It belonged to his coworker's mother who recently gave up her license and vehicle.

    Hubby and I spent the rest of that weekend wondering how much money they would want for it. Hubby returned to work on Monday and was given the asking price. It was at the low end of what we thought they would ask.

    Before the accident, we intended to use our income tax return to finish paying off our debt. On the night of the accident, we knew that was no longer an option. That money would have to go to a new vehicle and that was fine. Life happens.

    Hubby's coworker tells his mother about the offer on her vehicle and who it was from. She told him to give us the vehicle. After work that evening hubby told me the good news and I'm still crying tears of joy and gratitude for this beautiful blessing. The next day hubby and I were at the shop after working talking to his coworker. We wanted to get his mom a gift card and thank you card for her generosity. He gave us advice on what to get her. I also asked him how long it had been since she gave up her license and vehicle. Two weeks. It had only been two weeks since the SUV had been sitting in the shop parking lot waiting for its new family. He said that he was planning on putting it on Kijiji but hadn't gotten around to it yet. Hubby said that he put it on "Jesus Kijiji."

    God in His soverign will knew we were going to need a new vehicle and brought us to it at just the right time. He is so good and we are so grateful. God provides my friend.

    It's now been three weeks since the accident and two weeks of ownership of our new vehicle and I'm still crying tears of gratitude every time I think about this beautiful blessing and gift.

    This afternoon, Blessing and I walked over our thank you gift to his coworker's mother. I told her who I was, that it was a huge blessing and how thankful we are for it. She said that it was an older vehicle so she didn't think it was worth much so giving it away to someone who could use it was the best option. When I lifted up the gift bag and said we wanted to give her a gift to say thank you she said that I didn't need to do that and that I was going to make her cry. I too started to cry. She thanked me and we parted ways and I shed a few more tears as Blessing and I continued our walk. I spent the rest of our walk thinking about our encounter. The principle of one man's trash is another man's treasure came to mind. Not that she thought the SUV was trash, but simply no longer useful to her and yet a huge blessing to hubby and me.

    But, God is not good just because He provided us with a new vehicle. He is good period. In His goodness, He blessed us with a new vehicle. When hubby told me that we were being given this vehicle, through my tears I said that I was raised to believe and still do that when you honor God with your life He honors you back. No, I'm not perfect by any means. I'm working through lots of stuff with my therapist right now, but I'm better then I was and by God's grace, I will continue to grow closer to God and closer to the woman that He created me to be.

    I pray that this post blesses and encourages you today friend and reminds you that God is good, faithful and always provides.

God Bless

~Hannah

God's handwork in Orillia two years ago during our anniversary trip.

Take Nothing For Granted

    Two weeks ago Friday, hubby got into a car crash. He hit black ice, lost control, and the next thing he knew, the car was upside down in the ditch. He prayed, and God got him out of the vehicle without a hair on his head out of place. Praise the Lord. Our car on the other hand was totalled.

    After it was all said and done he got a ride home with a police officer and told me all about it. We then called his dad who picked us up and brought us to the shop where our car was also headed via a tow truck. We sat in the show kitchen and discussed our next steps. We would start looking for a new vehicle and in the meantime, we were simply grateful that hubby was, and is alive. Not only alive but not in the hospital with broken bones or anything either.

    I said to hubby that at least we live in Wallaceburg near our mechanic who is also a used car dealership and we both work locally so our commute to work would be easy to navigate as well. Hubby rode in with his dad and then another coworker until we got a vehicle. I texted one of my best friends who I work with and live within walking distance from her apartment. She was happy to drive me to work as well. We put all other extracurricular activities on hold while we navigated our situation. In the past, we have borrowed a vehicle from his dad but the one we usually borrow is not good in the snow and in my spirit, I didn't really want to ask or borrow. Looking back, I think God was gearing us up to teach us about not taking our vehicle or any other available vehicle for granted.

    The things that needed to be done were not hard but it was an emotionally stressful and exhausting week nonetheless. Before long we were feeling a strong case of cabin fever due to not having our own set of wheels, but grateful to those helping us out.

    Hand-in-hand we navigated our situation and found another vehicle. The story behind that new vehicle deserves a post of its own and I'm still crying over it. As I said, it wasn't long before we started feeling the stress of not being able to leave our apartment without the help of someone else driving us. Long story short, we quickly learned how much we had taken our car for granted and how truly thankful for coworkers who not only got us to work and back but also took me out and helped me get our weekly grocery haul. The simple act of driving me to and from Walmart so that I could feed my family meant the world to hubby and me. You know who you are. I love you and hubby and I appreciate you so much.

    After I realized how much we took our car for granted I started thinking about all the other things we take for granted and now I'm reminding myself to be more thankful. Are there things in your life that you are taking for granted and now need a loving reminder to be thankful for? Well, here it is, along with a dose of God's grace to help you along your day.

    Enjoy thing snowy weather we are having on this Family Day long weekend. Hubby and I are enjoying a quiet weekend after the craziness of the last few weeks.

God Bless

~Hannah

I love winter and Blessing and I enjoyed a long walk in the snow today, but the best photography happens in the Fall.