I'm not a robot.

Strange title for a post I know. The truth of the matter is that I am not a robot. Now I know what you are thinking. “Of course your not a robot. You are a human being” and of course, I know that full well. I know that I am a human being created in the image of God.

Recently I have been treating myself like a robot. I look at the amount of time that I have and think that I can get everything done in that time, which I might be able to do depending on the day. The problem is that I forget to take my energy level into consideration. Hence the robot mindset. I will make a list like this, get all your homework done, get all the housework and laundry done and make a meal that Betty Crocker would be impressed with. These are all good things of course, but what the problem with them is that I am human and even I cannot get everything done in one day despite how hard I try, and believe me I have which only leads to exhaustion, feelings of a failure, and stress which leads to its own problems altogether. I've also learned to stop comparing myself to other. I have finally come to accept that we are all on our own paths in life and none of us are in the same chapter as each other therefore there is no point in comparing myself to others. I tend to forget that God made me unique with my own talents and abilities and that I need to rely on Him for strength and guidance rather than myself.

My problem is that I do not learn very fast, so I kept repeating the same pattern over and over again which lead to feeling sicker and sicker. Thankfully I have a wonderful hubby who has walked with me through all this and never tells me “I told you so” after the fact. He knows my limitations and encourages me to stay within them, my problem is that I do not listen very well.

Finally, after months of repeating the same process over and over, I have finally learned to balance it all, which is very happy about. I now put aside the homework on the weekends so that he and I can enjoy time together. I also try to get my homework done while I am at school or while he is at work. That way I can also separate my home life from my school life.

I have learned that it is okay to take a break, in fact, it is a good thing. If God wanted me to be able to operate like a robot then He would have made me that way, but he did not.

Growing up I was and am still blessed with two parents who worked very hard for all that we had. They instilled in me a good work ethic which I am very grateful for. My problem is that I have recently taken that to the extreme and think that if I am not busy doing something then I am not being productive and thus being lazy. Yes, work is important but so is rest.

All in all God, Chase and I make a great team and with help from both of them, I am able to enjoy life to the fullest with them both.

So to those of you who are in the same boat as me, remember, it is all about balance, priorities, and respecting your own abilities and working within them. What is the point of getting everything done and then being too tired to enjoy all your hard work? There is no point in making a cake if you cannot sit down with your loved one and enjoy eating it together.