Letting Go and Letting God.

*I wrote this post in my journal months ago and forgot to post it.

Many people do not know this but I struggle with control issues. I feel the need to control every aspect of my life and when something does not go my way, which it often does because let's face it, we cannot control every single aspect of our life, I lose it. I get angry, stressed and anxious. As you can see this is a very personal issue that is hard to share. Only a few people know about it because of how personal it is. But as I was journaling this evening and trying to control and fix things, and as usual, failing at it, God got a hold of me, like He has many times before and I'm sure He will many more times in the future. He told me that I cannot control everything or fix everything and then shortly after that He put this post on my heart and the words started flowing. So despite how personal this is, I know He has a reason for this.

What he showed me tonight is that because I try to control every detail of my life, right down to the very minute He showed me that with my control issues there is no room left for God. There is no room to trust Him in the unknown.

That being said please hear me, I am a Christian, I am a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ and I love Him and my relationship with Him, but as you can see, I am still a flawed human being who has been saved by the grace of God.

I do trust God and He has done some amazing things in my life to which I am so grateful for.

He showed me tonight that by giving Him the control issues that  I will no longer be stressed out or have an anxiety attack when things do not go according to my plan. He showed me that I am safe in Him and can let go and let Him take the reigns. I've been praying that He would show me how to heal/walk away from my control issues like I have for many other things in my life, and tonight He did just that. And now, I am free.

You see, I do not like my control issues, they stress me out and hurt the ones I love the most but as we all figure out one way or another we cannot do life on our own, we need God. Of course, those who are not believers have not yet figured this truth out, and that is okay. God had a time and a place for everything and I pray one day they will come to know this truth.

Back to the point though. Tonight God showed me that I cannot have both Him and control, and tonight He showed me how I can have Him that much more.

To those who are reading this and do not know me or my walk with Christ very well probably think I journal like a wobbly Christian, I am not. I have been a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ for many years and love growing and learning more about Him. But like you all know life is hard at times and just because I am a believer I still struggle with the same problems that everyone else struggles and thankfully I have my heavenly Father to walk through the good and the bad times with.

So for those of you who struggle with control or whatever other issues you love, God is with you and want to help you, just like He helped me tonight. of course, I do not know what your journey will look like. All I know is that if you are willing, God can do amazing things in your life if you will let Him.

I do not know what the next few days, weeks or months will look like as I follow God through and away from my control issue, but I do know this, I can already feel the stress and anxiety melt away as I let go and let God.

I am blessed to serve such an amazing heavenly Father who wants the very best for me and is willing to work with me as I continue to learn and practice walking by faith and not by sight. I pray that reading this post has been a blessing to you as much as writing it was for me.

God Bless
~Ruth