The Grass Isn't Greener On The Other Side

    Last month I changed jobs. I went from a factory job to a call center. I was excited about all the perks of the new job. Working from home, no more dirty work clothing, etc. I have a handful of years of customer experience in different areas, so I figured I could handle it. The first week was great, and training was progressing smoothly. The second and third weeks started getting stressful the closer we got to finishing our training before taking live customer calls. I prayed over my anxiety and, between my hubby and a few other people encouraging me. I felt better. Nervous, but better.

    Then last Thursday, we started taking live calls. Oh man, stressful. At the end of my shift on Friday, my supervisor pointed out a few mistakes I had made over the last two days and it threw me over the edge. The mistakes were easy enough to fix and I knew that logically, but when stress and anxiety enter the room, logic exits. My stress and anxiety levels were at an all-time high. I got off work and called my mom, and through my tears, I vented and told her I was looking for new work. I knew it had only been two days, but I couldn't do this job.

    Hubby and I decided I would take Monday off and hand out resumes and get out of this call center job. That didn't reduce my anxiety though. I spent the entire weekend dealing with one very long intense anxiety attack. So much so that I could not even look at the corner of our living room where my work computer was sitting. I spent the weekend watching "The Golden Girls" and sleeping. That tv show calms me down a little.

    Monday morning arrived, and I headed out with resumes. I returned to the factory I had left a month ago, hoping they would take me back. I knew I had reasons why I left the factory  I was working in but I also knew that they were nowhere near as bad as the anxiety I was facing from the call center. So I went into the office with my resume and said I wanted to apply for my old job. The receptionist took my resume and said she would give it to the hiring manager when she got out of a meeting. I said thank you and continued handing out more resumes. Monday afternoon, the hiring manager called and set up a meeting with me for Tuesday morning. I happily accepted it. I proceeded to pray over the meeting. Prayed that it would go smoothly and that the factory would remember my work ethic and take me back. Sure enough, God showered me with His grace and mercy, and the factory remembered me favorably and agreed to take me back. It pays to work hard and not burn bridges, even if you think you will never return to that place. I then finished my work day at the call center. Okay, I didn't finish the day. I quite an hr an a half before the day ended and then took the computer back to the office. Then came home and cleaned up the corner where my computer was sitting. I decided earlier that day that I wanted to transform the corner from a work corner to a cozy reading corner. Taking it from a stress-inducing corner to a relaxing corner.

    I spent the evening tidying our apartment and preparing for the next day. My anxiety and stress had been so intense for a sold week that it took an entire evening and into the next morning to come down. Longer than I had expected. I figured once I handed the computer back I would feel instantly relieved, but I guess when you have been on an emotional high for a week straight it takes some time to come down from it. That's okay though.

    The next morning, Wednesday, I happily headed to the factory and returned to my old job. It was a good and hard day. I had spent the last month sitting at a desk not using any muscles and then I returned to a standing position sanding spoilers for the back of cars. My muscles were not prepared for that. By the end of the day, my arms were numb from sanding, my neck and shoulders were sore from leaning over the spoilers, and my legs from standing. But I was and am so happy to be back there. Throughout the day, I would stop and take a minute to stretch and every time I did I thought that even though I was sore, it was so much better than the stress I had faced a few days before.

    It is now the weekend. I have been back at the factory for three days now. Yes, I'm sore but so grateful. I learned a valuable lesson this past week. It isn't always greener on the other side. A cleaner work environment does not equal greener grass. I have never been more grateful to be in a factory than I am now. Guess I needed a perspective adjustment.

    For years my perception of factories has been that they are for uneducated people and that it's a dead-end job. That may be true for some it isn't for all.

    Working in the call center made me realize that I am built for physical jobs and not desk jobs. Makes sense, I spent the last several years working physical jobs, all while wanting to return to customer service. But call centers are very different then the other customer service positions I have held over the years. It also made me realize that I can handle a whole lot more physical pain than mental pain. I can handle sore muscles, yes, they are not pleasant, but I can manage. Where I have come to realize that I crumble under mental pressure. I am grateful to know this newfound fact about myself though. I hadn't thought about my ability to handle mental stress vs physical stress before. Yes, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression a few years ago, but most days they do not get too much in the way of my everyday routines. This time they did and it concerned both myself and my hubby with how I handled the stress and anxiety. I did not eat for a week. Instead of consuming 1,500 to 2,000 calories a day, I was consuming closer to 500 to 1,000 at the most. Thankfully I am back on track now and working at putting back on the few pounds I lost.

    All in all, it's been a heck of a week. I am grateful for the lesson I learned this last week, that the grass is not greener in customer service vs a factory. I believe God wanted my perspective of factories to change, so He gave me a customer service position that I thought was a dream come true to show me that it is okay to work in a factory. I still believe that God handed me the call center job, but now I understand why. I thought it was so I could dress up every day like the girly girl I am, now I know it was about my perspective of factories. Yes, the area I currently work in is dirty and smelly, but it's still an important job that needs to be done. This can be said about all jobs in a factory. Regardless of what your factory produces, whether that be car parts or pickles, the public needs that product and therefore your job is needed and important.

    When I first arrived at this factory I was grateful for a job, and even though it was not a glamorous job, I knew someone needed to do it, so why not me. During my initial time there my opinion changed, and I wanted out. Now I am back to the same opinion. Not a glamourous job, but still an important one that I am now more than ever, happy to do. I can now say that I expect to stay here for a while.

    So there it is friends, I am back in the factory and thrilled. Are there any areas in your life where you think the grass is greener on the other side? I am sure we can all think of a few. In fact, I am thinking of a few other areas in my life where I need to water the grass on my side a little more and not compare the grass on the other side of the fence.

Thank you for reading and sharing my experience with me this week.

God Bless

~Hannah

I wanted this week's photo to be of my new cozy reading area, but I haven't finished transforming it yet. So a picture of my best friend will do very nicely instead. Plus the grass is really green in this photo.

The Power of Words

    Three weeks ago I started a new job. The first few days were a mix of stress and excitement as I settled into my new routine and began to learn about my job. We started training, and it was going well. Then it began to get more complicated, and I started to stress and get anxious. I began to question whether or not I could do this job.

    I was praying about the job and asking God for direction. I told God that He had brought me the job. Then He reminded me that I needed to "show up" meaning I needed to pay more attention to the training and take better notes. So I accepted my discipline from God and started working harder. Still felt lots of anxiety though, and it was starting to remind me of a job I had a year ago where I would cry and have anxiety attacks every day before going to work. I was questioning this job so much that I started to look for other work. Then one day, I was venting to my hubby, who then unknowingly gave me a word from God. I knew exactly what I needed to do.

    I was afraid that once I started taking customer calls I would freeze, panic, and forget everything I had learned. I needed to make a fancy detailed cheat sheet to help guide me while I assisted customers. I had notes, but they needed to be detailed. So I prayed and asked God what my cheat sheet should look like and He directed me. He took my anxiety away and guided me through making my new aid.

    So I continued learning about my new role and working hard to make my cheat sheet. I mentioned my cheat sheet to my trainer, to a) clarify that I could make it and b) to see if I could work late outside of our normal hours to work on it. He loved the idea and encouraged me to make it. He also said that there would be time within the next couple of days where I would be able to work on it and wouldn't need to work after my scheduled shift to finish it. Wonderful news.

    Later that week, my sister and I were on the phone chatting about life and our families. I updated her on my new job. Told her I am now working in customer service from home. Before even telling her about my stress about the job she instantly said that the job was right up my alley. Major confidence boost. She's not wrong, of course. I enjoy talking to people and I am loving the perks of working from home. She reminded me that yes, it would be scary, but once I have dealt with each possible customer problem once then I will be good and it will then be a breeze. Sisters are so helpful. If you do not have one, I strongly suggest you find yourself one. You may not have a biological sister, but a close girlfriend is just as good.

    So over the last few days, I have been working hard to make sure that I am ready to assist customers once I am officially out of training and into production. Then today, the sweetest thing happened. We were going over our test results from our latest knowledge check that we took on Thursday. Simply making sure we are taking in the information and will be ready to help customers. To my surprise, I received 100% on the test. After I had taken the test on Thursday, I was afraid that I had missed a question and therefore may not have passed. Turns out I passed with flying colours. A few of my classmates did not do so well and ended up retaking the test. While my classmates were taking the test, the trainer and I had a chance to visit for a few minutes. We were discussing my progress over the last week and he was saying that I was among the top of the class. What an encouragement that was. A week ago I was looking for a different job, and now this week I am on the verge of feeling ready to assist real customers with their car issues. It just goes to show that when you work hard and obey God, He will do amazing things for you.

    Please do not take this as me bragging. That is not my intention. My intention is to say that when we obey God and accept our discipline when needed, He blesses us. He brought three different people along my path this week to encourage me and tell me that I am on the right path and will do just fine.

    My reason for writing this post is to remind myself and anyone who reads these words that words have power. Power to build people up or tear them down. After receiving all this encouragement these last few days it has made me want to be more intentional about encouraging those around me and use my words to build others up more and reduce my destructive words.

    Again, none of this is to give me an ego boost. I too have flaws and lots of them. I am currently on a waitlist to see a counselor for a few of my destructive flaws. I am tired of my issues causing damage and harm to my life and the life of my family so I am now on a waitlist to see a counselor get help with my problems.

    So friends, have you been using your words lately to build others up or tear them down? If I'm being honest with myself, I know that I use more destructive words than encouraging words, and it's time to change that and build up those around me, strengthen those relationships, and build a beautiful life.

    I pray this post blesses you in whatever season you are in. Thank you for taking the time and letting me share with you my experience with encouraging words.

God Bless

~Hannah

Over the Canada Day long weekend I broke my bedtime and took pictures of the sunset. Normally I'm in bed before the sun is even thinking about setting. Then I made it pink. 😀