My New Found Relationship, with Myself.

    Over the last little while, I have been reading and loving Joyce Myer's "Authentically, uniquely you." It has been a wonderful journey. One of the recent things I have been learning is how important my relationship with myself is. In fact, it should be my second most important relationship. The first is my relationship with God.

    One part of this relationship with myself that God has been teaching me is about how I talk to myself. I am very unkind and critical of myself. Until reading this book, I never had much thought about my relationship with myself. But it has been a big season of growth over the last year and apparently, God felt it was time for me to develop this area.

    Anyways, it has been an amazing experience. I have been working on reducing my negative self-talk and working on respecting myself more. Until now, whenever I mess up on something, regardless of its significance I will call myself an idiot. I know that I am not, but that is what silently comes out of my mouth. So now I practice telling myself that yes, I messed up (not likely a big deal), but I'm not an idiot or a failure. Because I know that deep down I am not a failure, but now I have to tell myself what I know to be true. God has also been teaching me about the difference between having confidence in Christ (who I am in Christ), pride, and having a negative self-image and where God wants me to fall on the spectrum. That in and of itself has been a beautiful learning curve. It has been a beautiful journey friends. One that I hope you have either conquered or are well on your way towards.

    Another big thing that God and I have been working on is my respect for myself. This weekend, hubby, myself, and his siblings were supposed to go and see my mother-in-law out of town. Then on Thursday night, we realized that the weather would not only be miserable for our visit but not pleasant for driving either. So we called it off. A minute later I decided that I could join in on the shift at work and do some overtime on Saturday. So then I started planning that and told hubby. As usual, he was in agreement with whatever I felt was best. Then I went to bed and hemmed and hawed over my decision. Which is something I never do. When it comes to work and overtime it's a straightforward yes or no answer. But this time I was troubled. As I mentally tossed and turned, I stopped and asked myself, "Hannah, what do you want to do?" I answered, "File our taxes in the morning and spend the afternoon reading and journaling." I have never stopped and asked myself that before. I did not expect to answer myself too quickly either. It was a beautiful and profound experience, one that I will practice more often. My go-to move is to simply take care of my hubby and Blessing and forget about myself. An unhealthy characteristic that hubby is lovingly helping me to unlearn. Because even wives/dog mommas need to put themselves first from time to time. I went to sleep satisfied on Thursday night. Then Friday morning, after reading my Bible, I was back on track with whether or not I should work on Saturday. I was basically trying to convince myself to sign up for overtime. I started praying over it. Then Holy Spirit said, 'it's always a yes or no answer. You never struggle this much about working overtime." I responded with, 'You are right. I do not want to go to work." I finally settled on my answer. I went to work Friday and was relieved when I was finished for the week.

    Now, the plans and activities I wanted to enjoy were not all successful. Nor did the day look or feel like I had imagined. But that's okay because the important ones did get completed. So as I'm winding down and preparing to go to sleep in a few minutes, I am satisfied with my day and so grateful for what God has been teaching me. I am blessed to serve a mighty and powerful God who will never leave me, or forsake me and who is regularly transforming me into a woman after His heart.

    Thank you for sharing your time with me friends, and reading along as I process the greatness of our God.

God Bless

~Hannah

This photo makes me giddy with delight. It reminds me of my love for photography and my growth as a photographer and more importantly, my growth with God.

Love is an action, not a feeling.

    Looking for love in all the wrong places. Love is an action. It is not an emotion or a feeling. It is demonstrated in the way we treat ourselves and those around us, and the things we do to and for others.

    1st Corinthians 13:4-8a. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects always trusts, always hopes, always persevere. Love never fails."

    Love is an action, and God is love.

Tonight I sat down to read a book, "Authentically, unique you" by Joyce Myers. At the end of the second chapter, Myers mentions that in the index at the back of the book, there is a list of scripture verses to remind me of God's love for me. One of the elements that I struggle with in my relationship with God is knowing, believing, and feeling God's love for me. So when I read that Myers had written a cheat sheet for me I quickly grabbed my Bible and headed to the index in search of affirmation of my Savior's love for me. My Bible does have a similar index in it but none of the verses have spoken to me and given me the encouragement that I needed. Meaning that I was not ready for this lesson until now. The beauty of God's timing. The first few references weren't doing anything for me. So I prayed and asked God to show me a verse that would touch me and speak to me the way I needed to hear it. I kept going down the list and landed on Psalm 23. I started reading. Up to this point, I was looking for a verse that said, "Hannah, I love you." - God. (Yes, I know there isn't a verse that directly says that). But that is not how Psalm 23 starts. "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures..." V. 1-2.

    This chapter is one of the many chunks of scripture that my mom had my siblings and I memorize as children so it is still familiar to me today. As I am reading I'm thinking "there are no 'I love you' statements in this chapter". Then Holy Spirit reminded me that love is an action and not an emotion. It was a beautiful aha moment. I love Holy Spirit-inspired aha moments. There are "aha moments" and then there are Spirit-led ones. This led me to another familiar passage. 1st Corinthians 13:4-8a. Which describes what love should look like and how to demonstrate it to those around me.

    In today's world, we long to hear the words "I love you" from the people we care for. It makes us feel warm and happy to hear those words. But Holy Spirit reminded me today that love is not a feeling but an action. God shows me His love for me when He provides for my needs when He showered me with unexpected blessings and much more. And of course the ultimate act of sending Jesus to die on the cross for my sins. Yes, I have known John 3:16 for most of my life, but like many other honest believers, I have taken that verse for granted many times over the years. This is probably why God created His Word to be living and active so we can relearn all the important lessons He has for us.

    As I wrote out/ read 1st Corinthians 13:4-8a it came alive to me all over again in the beautiful way that only God's Word can do. It's the beautiful difference between The Bible and every other book in the world. Yes, books can encourage you and teach you new things, but only The Bible through The Holy Spirit can transform your life.

    I was also convicted by how badly I fall short of God's standard for love and that I need to practice some of the characteristics that are listed in this passage. Thankfully God's mercies are new every morning and I can continue to grow in these areas.

    Tonight He also reminded me that not only does He love me but that He is a jealous God and desires to spend time with me. He reminded me of how I am jealous of my hubby's time and energy and that He is jealous of my time and energy in a good way. Yes, I am a human leach, something I am working on as well. Anyways, it was yet another beautiful reminder that God loves me and desires to have an intimate relationship with me. A truth I have known for years but needed a reminder of.

    "Truly believing that God loves you unconditionally is the foundation for a relationship with Him, with yourself, and with others." Myers, J. 2021 Authentically, uniquely you. Hachette Book Group. Inc.

We need to accept God's love for us before we can do anything else. Because without God's love, we have nothing and will simply sound like a gong or a clanging cymbal. 1st Corinthians 13:1.

    I'm only two chapters into this book from Joyce Myers and I'm already sold. God used it to teach me this lesson about His love for me. I am so excited to continue reading it with my journal and Bible by my side. It is currently a library book but I will likely buy it and add it to my library and read it again as the years go by and be able to lend it out to those who need to read it as well.

I pray this blesses and encourages you along your walk with God, and friends.

God Bless

~Hannah

Sunrise of Ramsey Lake. From our recent trip up north.