I'm trying to learn to work within my limits. First, I need to learn what my limits are which also involves admitting that I have limits and therefore cannot do it all. That in and of itself has been hard to admit to. I know I am not God, and just this morning during my quiet time He reminded me that He is in control and that at the end of the day, I don't want to control the world. That would be too much work. I struggle with controlling my environment and my family. Thankfully I am blessed with a loving husband who will put his foot down when necessary and help me when I am trying to control things.
The other day we had a disagreement before work which left us both frustrated and upset. While I went through the motions of my work day, God reminded me that I cannot control others but I can control myself and my actions and attitude. This is exactly what I need to do to fix and prevent the upset from happening again. Needless to say, God and I have some work to do. But that's what it's all about. If you are not growing you and neutral and possibly lukewarm, and we know how God feels about that.
Before I can start learning what my limits are, I need to accept that I do have them. Even God rested on the seventh day. So why do I think I don't need to rest or that I am better than that? Surly I don't think I am God or even close to Him and I have no desire to be God. Guess I want to be more like God than I realize. Truth is, I want to be Superwoman, but I am not, and that bothers me. As I was journaling and processing these thoughts about wanting to be able to do everything, it reminded me of Eve. She too had human desires that were not wrong, but she went about the wrong way of getting those things (good food, pleasing to the eye, and desirable for gaining wisdom. Gen 3:6) and it caused her to sin. The enemy has taken my work ethic and desire to accomplish an unnecessarily big to-do list and used it against me, and it's time it stopped. Working hard and getting stuff done is not bad. It is good, and work is from the Lord, but when I push myself to the point of being "witchy" then it's bad.
I'm slowly learning where my limits are. Okay, hubby and Holy Spirit are telling me where they are, but I am trying to faithfully listen to them. I know that when I go past my limits and turn "witchy," I am very unpleasant to be around. I have been trying to figure out how much I can put into each day and week before I turn "witchy." I have taken a few things out/rearranged my work to better accomplish this goal.
I started reading "Straight Talk" by Joyce Meyer this past week, and, as always, Holy Spirit is using her book to change my life. In the first chapter, she mentions that when you are no longer demonstrating the Fruit of the Spirit, then you have gone past the line and are now doing more than God wants you to do and has intended for you to do. It was a beautiful reminder. I know that I have pushed myself too far when I get "witchy" and irritable and no longer calm, respectful, and understanding. Awkwardly enough, I hadn't compared these verbs to the Fruit of the Spirit, or at least not directly. This is funny because these verbs are the Fruits of The Spirit. What I found interesting in the first chapter of the book is how God has already set a number of things for me to do every day and week, and He will provide me with the energy and time to accomplish those tasks. It's when I go past His will that things go south. I desire to live within His will, favor, and blessing so I am going to slow down a little bit more and listen for that still small voice as Holy Spirit directs me where to go.
Years ago someone at my church told me what the word "busy" meant after I had said something about my life/schedule. Being Under Satan's Yoke. At the moment I thought it was a cute acronym and brushed it off. Years later, I now realize that I need to dial it back and adjust the tasks and activities that fill my days and weeks and within the limits that God has ordained for me before time began. My biggest struggle now is to watch my mood and energy for when I start to get irritable and know when I am closing in on my limits. Because the truth is, the witchy version of me is not so nice to be around or be for that matter. So I am going to practice being more self-aware and monitor my energy, emotions, thoughts, and, The Holy Spirit's voice directing me to accomplish the tasks He has set before me and become the woman of God that He created me to be.
I pray this post finds you well and blesses you in whatever season you are going through friend. And always remember to work within the limits that He has given you.
God Bless
~Hannah
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