Unexpected Blessings

    "This week I was most blessed by..." was a journal prompt I found on Pinterest earlier this week, and within seconds I had my answer.

    Last Sunday, as hubby and I drove into our church's parking lot, he told me that his dad had a friend whose son went to school for the video game designer program that my hubby is now pursuing. He said that this friend's son, who went to school years ago, had a bad experience but didn't remember the specifics about why it was bad. My father-in-law wanted hubby to meet this friend, learn about his son's experience and get specific information about the program.

    As soon as hubby told me this, my defences went up, and the enemy gave me some less-than-kind thoughts toward my father-in-law. Thoughts that I have since apologized for. 

    We head into the church, and I felt very hesitant about this upcoming conversation. Simply because I do not want anyone to derail my hubby from his newfound career path. A path that has been on his heart and mind for a very long time but has been unable to pursue it. Which is a story for another day.

    Anyways, the service gets started, and I'm still feeling very hesitant. So I pray. I tell God what is on my heart. Even though He already knows. I tell him I'm feeling hesitant, and I ask for His will to be done in this conversation.

    After the service, we head over and meet this new friend and ask about his son's experience. Within the first two sentences that this man says, all my hesitant and negative thoughts and feelings wash away. I joyfully watched my husband light up as we learned about this man's son's experience. Turns out that the program was not exactly what the man's son wanted, but exactly what my husband wants. You see, there are two paths to go down within this program, and originally, before hubby and I met, he went down the "wrong" one. Unknowingly at the time.

    The way the program is marketed to future students is not very accurate. The schools that are offering this program do not use very descriptive language, and as a result, both my hubby and this other young man went down the wrong path by accident. Here's the punch line friend. Both of these young men should have been in the "other guys" lane. One lane is for computer programing, and the other is for video game design. The kicker is that they are both called "computer programming." So you can see how this confused both young men, leading them to both drop out.

    Through this conversation, we learned that it was simply the "wrong" path and hubby and I are more excited than ever for him to pursue this dream job and return to school next fall. Of course, neither of them was on the "wrong" path because it was all part of God's plan for both of them.

    A few weeks ago, after a therapy session, hubby came to me and told me that he wanted to be a video game designer and wanted to start pursuing this God-given desire. I started singing the hallelujah chorus. We have known for a long time that this is what he wanted, but his experience with it the first time when we went to school and went down the "wrong" path through him off course for a long time and gave him some trauma.

So when he came to me a few weeks ago and said it was time to get back on track and that he had finally realized that he wants to be a video game designer, I was thrilled. Since then, he has been trying to figure out if he wants/needs to return to school and what that would look like. The conversation we had with this new friend answered all these questions and more. It encouraged us to pursue this new path and gave us a place to start.

    Walking into church last Sunday, I felt hesitant and on guard, and I walked out feeling blessed with a weight lifted off my shoulders.

    It was so encouraging to watch my hubby light up about his future career, and that there is a way to make it happen. We are very excited to head down this new path toward his career. 

    

    It amazes me how one simple sentence from someone without background knowledge of my hubby could mean so much. God used that unsuspecting man to encourage and instruct hubby and me on the right path. God is good and works in mysterious ways, friend. I went into that conversation expecting one answer and came out with an entirely different one. For that, I am so thankful.

    Hubby has been working very hard with his therapist over the last few months and has made amazing progress, which I am proud of and blessed by. The night he told me he wanted to design video games, I thought, "Sweet, we are back on track." Then when we walked out of that conversation, I thought, "And now we have direction and some ideas of how to make it work."

    I pray friend, that this post finds you well and blesses you in whatever way you need today.

Happy Sunday

God Bless

~Hannah

God used this man and our conversation to "bridge" the gap between my husband and his career path.

To Enjoy Life Sounds Like...

    To enjoy life sounds like... heaven on earth. To sit in a park with my book or journal and maybe an iced coffee with the sound of nature all around me sounds like heaven on earth. To just sit and rest in the fresh air. To feel my anxiety just fade away and my heartbeat settles down. To hear birds in the trees around me and children enjoying their summer vacation on the play set. While they laugh and play, scream and yell among themselves. All while I enjoy the passion, talent and creativity that my beloved authors bring to each of their books. Or my Creator Himself brings to mind while I journal.

    For my husband, it means hanging out with friends, while they eat good food and play games. It's researching a topic and learning new things that challenge his thinking. Playing fetch with our dog and giving her belly rubs. It's spontaneous ice cream dates after work and movie nights with Blessing and me on our couch.

    For teenage girls (yes, I'm stereotyping) its going to the mall with their friends and picking out a new outfit and getting their nails done. Or finding that hair accessory that you have been looking for.

    For others, like my husband, it's curling up on the couch with your family and watching a good movie with your favourite snacks and building memories that will last a lifetime.

    It sounds like walking through nature while listening to your favourite podcast. It's hosting a dinner party and trying a new recipe. It's so many different things to different people because God created every one of us differently and gave us each our own things to enjoy.

    John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." God does not want us to simply go to work, pay bills and clean our homes. He wants us to enjoy our lives. To enjoy His creation and use the skills, gifts and talents that He has given every one of us.

    For a long time, I have struggled with "enjoying" life. For years I had the mindset that I am on this earth to go to work, pay bills and exercise. I saw a meme about it one day saying how we are created for more than just that and it hit me between the eyes. Of course, it has taken me several years to accept that I do not have simply just work and pay bills. That I am allowed to enjoy life and all the blessings that God has given to me. I had the wrong mindset for years that I did not "deserve" to enjoy life and such. Thankfully that is not true. Thankfully what is true is that God loves me and wants me to enjoy the life that He has given to me. I had never really noticed John 10:10 until recently while reading a Joyce Myers book and she spoke on this topic for a moment and it all hit me.

    So now I'm trying to practice "enjoying" life more and giving myself "permission" to do so. Want to know what I have discovered friend? It's refreshing and relaxing. Last Sunday I spent the entire day laying on our couch reading a book. It was such a good book that I borrowed it from the library on Friday evening and finished it Sunday evening. I'm not a fast reader, so this is an impressive feat for me. At one point in the afternoon on Sunday my hubby came out of his office for a snack and walked through the living room. He stopped and we talked for a few minutes. I told him that I hadn't felt this relaxed in ages and was so grateful that we stayed home that day. Yes, we enjoy attending church regularly and believe in the importance of fellowship and corporate worship, but laying on my couch that day and just reading my favourite author's work was soulful and such a blessing.

    So, friend, I hope that you have already learned this lesson long ago and are enjoying the blessing of enjoying the life that God has given you. If not, I hope you learn alongside me that it is not just good to enjoy life through various activities, but that it is a blessing from God.

Happy Sunday All

I pray that this post finds you well and blesses you.

~Hannah

Silencing The Voice Of The Enemy

    Why do we listen to the voice of the enemy? We all do it, whether we want to admit to it or not. It is not an everyday occurrence, but regular non the less. Yes, I'm calling myself out too. Logically speaking it makes no sense. He is a liar. So why are we listening to him? The truth of the matter is that we listen to him because he entices our sinful nature and says he can give us things that we desire. Even though we both know that only God can give us the desires of our hearts. Yes, the enemy was good once, he was one of God's angels who developed a big head and got demoted. But that was long before we were born. So It's not like we thought the enemy was good and then learned the truth later. We have always known this. Yes, he tried to tell us that he can give us things that we desire that are outside of God's design for us but sound appealing to our sinful nature. The enemy's one mission in life is to steal, kill and destroy. This begs the question of why we listen to him. "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10. God wants to give us a beautiful life and the enemy wants to destroy it.

    One of the many things I struggle with is my outward appearance. Both God and my hubby, the two most important voices in my life, both say I am beautiful and according to my standards of beauty and what I look for in others, I am. Some days I do see it, but, most days, I cannot. The enemy says I have to wear makeup and work for my outer beauty. But God, says that I'm already beautiful. So why do I believe the voice that says I have to work for something when the other voice, the most important voice says that I do not have to work for it? It makes no sense. It's time to silence the voice of the enemy and turn up the voice of Holy Spirit.

    The other reason why I think we listen to the enemy's voice is that he is sneaky and plants little ideas in our heads and when aren't careful and on guard we entertain those thoughts. In other words, there are times when we "choose" to listen when he is offering things that he has no business offering and when we are not fully on guard and watching our thoughts.

    Recently at work, I was thinking through our laundry. My hubby has a habit of leaving piles of dirty laundry around our apartment. It's a combination of it being just the two of us in our home and likely his ADHD. No, not here to vent my marital frustrations or put my hubby down.

    Part of my heart and mind say that because I do the majority of our housework that he could at least put his laundry in the hamper. Sometimes in the evening, I tell him I'm doing laundry the next morning and ask him to put all the piles he wants washed in the basket. He then quickly gets up and puts it all in the basket.

    Part of my thoughts were directing me back to a conversation I had with my counselor. We were discussing household chores and such. She suggested that I "give" my hubby the chores that I wasn't particular about how they are done and what hills I wanted to die on, and what I am willing to live with. I am annoyed with the piles of clothing, but it's not the end of the world. I know my hubby doesn't do it intentionally. Between his mental health and his ADHD, he struggles with some tasks. Again, not here to slander my hubby. Ruth spent a lot of time complaining and talking down about her hubby. Hannah is a new woman 😉 and spends very little time talking down about her hubby, or at least I'm working on it. 😉

    Anyways, one of the thoughts the enemy gave me was that if I picked up the piles and then washed, dried, etc I would be doing everything and become a doormat.

    Thankfully Holy Spirit interrupted the enemy and informed me that I was listening to the enemy because my thoughts didn't line up with Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things." It stopped me in my tracks. Because I was then able to turn around and tell the enemy that that's not who my hubby is. He doesn't treat me like a doormat. He loves me.

    Yes, I do the majority of the work around our home, but I do it out of love, enjoyment and because my hubby appreciates it. Of which he tells me regularly. When he comes to me and tells me how much he appreciates it, it makes me feel loved and appreciated.

    Like I said before. The enemy wants to kill, steal and destroy. In my situation with my outward appearance, he wants to destroy my God-given confidence and relationship with God. he wants me to think that I have to work for my beauty. In my laundry situation, he wants to destroy my marriage and put a wedge between my husband and I. Friend, we need to silence the voice of the enemy and turn up Holy Spirit's voice in our hearts.

I pray that you would also silence the enemies voice in your life and turn up Holy Spirit's voice.

God Bless

~Hannah

God gave someone the gift of landscaping to create this beauty and me the gift of photography to capture it.

No "Room" For Emotions

    Despite being a rather emotional person, I have no room or "time" for them in my life. I am a very black-and-white person. I like to get up early in the morning and, get my housework and other such things done and go to work. Where I know exactly what is expected of me and my coworkers. At work, we are expected to get our work done and interact with each other respectfully and pleasantly. I "enjoy" this type of environment. There is no guesswork about what kind of mood people will be in because they are expected to be pleasant, and if you are having a bad day, you distance yourself.

    I am also a very task-oriented person, so getting a to-do list done is very satisfying to me. Similarly, when I am at work, I have a to-do list that mainly consists of the same things all day long, which I also enjoy. It allows me to spend my time thinking about other things that I need/want to do.

    My "problems" arise once I get home. No, I am not dissing my hubby or throwing him under the bus. Next to Christ, he is the love of my life. I simply mean that home is where the emotions are. Where they are supposed to be. And yet, I expect my home to run the same way work does. I expect to arrive home and continue with my to-do list. Expect that's not how it works. Sometimes your work day has been long, and I do not have enough energy to finish that list or hubby wants to spend time together. Which, of course, I also wish to do. Time with him is one of my favourite things. You see, I have this "fear" that someone is going to walk into my home an hour after I get home and ask why I have not completed any tasks since getting home. Yes, I know. Completely irrational. A) No one is going to walk into my home, and B) I need to put my people pleasing at the foot of Jesus.

    Yes, I have anxiety that rears its ugly head in many different places, just like many other people. I'm working on it though. I am working on not giving myself a to-do list for both my mornings and evenings. As I posted in a previous post, having a to-do list in the morning and evening would simply be playing into Satan's trap of being "BUSY" and I do not want that. I'm hoping that this new practice will help me to "make room" for emotions.

    Because emotions are not bad. They are good. Jesus showed emotions throughout His time on earth. Emotions tell us how we are doing and if we need to change something. Whether that be adding something or subtracting something.

    At the end of the day though, it all boils down to this. I need to stop working every minute of every day and give myself permission to relax and be human. This is a lesson that both Holy Spirit and my hubby have been trying to teach me for a long time and hopefully one of these days I will learn and apply this lesson. So much of my worth comes from "doing," but that's not what God originally intended. He created me to "be." Yes, work is important, but it does not define us, and it should not come before our relationship with God.

    So there you have it friends, a highly emotional person who struggles with and kinda hates emotions. Life would be so much simpler if I were just a robot. But, that's not how God created me. So I have to learn how to "be human" and give myself the time and space to experience and enjoy all the emotions that God has given to us.

    Thank you for reading along as I process that lessons that Holy Spirit teaches me and transforms me into the woman He wants me to be. I am praying blessings over you and all the things that you are going through as well.

God Bless

~Hannah