This morning I woke up feeling "quit" which is usually a sign that my depression is flaring up and it's going to be a rough day. I wasn't feeling bad yet though. Just quiet.
My mood started to get visibly worse around 10 am and by 11:30 I was on the couch, scrolling on my phone falling into a funk. Last night I told hubby I wanted to go lane swimming at the pool on Saturday afternoon. While I was lying on the couch feeling depressed I realized I wasn't going to be able to go swimming. I fell asleep asleep shortly after. At 2:30 I woke up from my nap feeling like myself again. Lane swimming was now over, so I took Blessing for a walk. It occurred to me when I woke up that Satan had been attacking me and preventing me from going swimming which is an activity that I love and am trying to do regularly now.
I decided then and there that I would try again tomorrow and not let Satan have his way. I feel a little silly for not seeing his tactics earlier, but I know for next time.
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10.
After I had journaled this post, I thought of how it was not a "fun" or "nice" post. It's not a post about something exciting that happened this weekend or how God answered a prayer. It is a post about struggle and the human condition. I then asked myself what the Holy Spirit would say in response to it. He would remind me of the Psalms where David is crying out to God in anguish. Ps. 6:3 "My soul is in anguish." He would remind me that not every day is a good day, and that's okay. The Holy Spirit didn't directly speak to me in this encounter, I simply asked myself what He would say, and this is what I believe He would say.
It's now been a week since this happened. This weekend was much better than last, and I got to enjoy several more of the activities that I love. Including a good workout in the pool through 40 minutes worth of lane swimming. Now, I have to find the right balance between how many activities I can enjoy during the week and on the weekends and how much time I can spend on each activity without exhausting myself and burning out. Stay tuned for the answer. 😊
Have a blessed sleep tonight, my friend and a wonderful new work week tomorrow morning.
God Bless
~Hannah
Took this picture when I first started doing photography. I look back now and see what I "should have" done for an even better shot and am grateful for how far I have come and all I have learned. I'm excited to continue developing my photography skills and blessing my family with this God given passion.
Also, pro tip, if you don't love the photo, put it in black and white and it "fixes" it. 😄
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