My Gut-Wrenching Honest Prayer.

     Lord, please forgive me for my bad attitude, pride, lack of self-control, and control issues.

    It has been quite the week. Season really, but also a particularly rough week. I allow my circumstances to dictate my mood so often that it has led me to have a bad attitude.

    Father, I've spent the last week thinking that I can't do anything about all these sin issues that I am struggling with. The enemy convinced me that the only thing in me was my human/sinful nature. And that only You can fix me. Which is true in part. Then You reminded me in this week's devo with hubby that I can be a part of the change and that I have a hand in this. You reminded me that I need to exercise self-control and that it will be a start for working through these issues.

    It's going to be a long road to work through all these issues, but I know You are faithful. You will never leave me nor forsake me.

    You reminded me of my free will the other day through our devotional and that also helped to remind me that I do have some control and can exercise correct control there. Control over my thoughts and actions.

    Thank you, Lord, for dying on the cross for me and my sins. Thank you to my hubby who is faithfully walking beside me as I navigate these issues. Amen.

    From our devotional on April 24th. "When it comes to the subject of self-control, many of us would like to dodge the issue. Maybe we would like to think there is a way to put our minds, will and emotions under God's "remote control." Instead of having to take responsibility for our actions and decisions, we think it would be easier for God to simply control us. However, God has a more creative plan in mind. He designed us with limited free will. This means we have the ability to choose right over wrong and self-control over emotional responses." From the book, The Daily Way. By Michael Youssef, Ph.D. That night's devotional hit me between the eyes.

    The next night's devotional added to the previous night's lesson very nicely. "A person who has an undisciplined spirit or no self-control is like a city without walls. He or she is open to enemy attack at any given moment. When we fail to exercise a spirit of self-control, the wild animals of jealousy, rage, frustration, gossip, false witness, and more can enter our lives easily and unopposed. The lack of self-control is Satan's way of preparing us for destruction."

    My gut-wrenching, honest prayer this morning to the Lord. Hubby and I talked last night and this morning, and he forgave me for my sins this week. But I hadn't asked God to forgive me yet or forgive myself. While doing laundry this morning, I wrote out my prayer in my journal, and God lifted the heavy weight of shame off my shoulders. I'm not off the hook by any means. Now, I have to walk out what I believe and am learning. But with God and my hubby beside me, I can do it.

    I share all this because that's what my blog is all about. I write about my struggles and remind both you and myself that neither of us is alone in our struggles. God is with us. I also believe that more than ever God is calling me to share these particular struggles with you. I expect it to keep me humble and accountable.

    I pray this post encourages you that you are not alone in your struggles and that we all fall short of the glory of God. But we serve The God of mercy and grace and of second chances.

Happy Sunday, friend.

God Bless

~Hannah

Testing mom's blood at my sister Rae's Family and Friends Day at school.