Last week on the 20th, my supervisor came by 3/4 through the day and said we were offering extra hrs in buffing because the customer rejected a whole lot of parts, so we had to fix the ones they rejected, along with providing them with the ones we already owed them. I said not today or tomorrow (tomorrow being my birthday and I had the day booked off.), but Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, I could come in extra early and buff before my painting shift started. By Wednesday morning, I regretted my decision and decided that I wouldn't continue doing overtime the following week. So I finished my shift on Monday, enjoyed having Tuesday off, and then had three very rough days. I rushed into work in the morning, leaving no time for chores, minimal time for God, and limited capacity for hubby and Blessing. It was a rough three days. But wait, it gets worse. Because I then spent my whole weekend overcommitting myself. Saturday until 3pm was great, and then it went downhill. I continued to overcommit myself and thus kept digging the hole of exhaustion for myself.
Among other things that I will talk about next is that one of my issues is that I don't think about my energy levels. I simply look at the calendar and say, 'Yes, I'm available.' I don't stop and think about everything else that will happen prior to this new thing or after it, and therefore, do I have the energy to give to this new thing? Answer, probably not.
But I have decided that enough is enough, and it's time to learn from my mistakes and stop repeating them. Being busy for busy sake is not godly anyway. I tend to connect my value with how much I work. Which, of course, goes against what God says. I'm also a huge people pleaser and tend to chase after money more than I should. Meaning that I say yes to way more overtime than I ever should. Overtime has its place by all means, but there is a limit. Ephesians 2:10 NIV “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” We were created to work, but not to overwork.
In my head, the more I work and do things, the more value I have. Which is a lie from the enemy, of course. But a lie I tend to believe anyways. It's even worse when I am tired. That's when I have a meltdown. Which makes sense, when your defenses are down, it's the perfect time for the enemy to attack. A verse I cling to as much as possible is Psalm 139:14 NIV “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,I know that full well.”
And as you might expect, when I have overworked myself and I am exhausted and burning out, my helpmate abilities that I wrote about last week go out the window. Which makes sense. It's hard to serve and love someone when all you want to do is sleep.
So, I'm taking this week to recover. And then being mindful of my calendar and my energy from now on. We had small group on Monday, so Tuesday I woke up tired as I had expected. It was a great night, but I felt like I had been hit by a bus. After work, I took a long afternoon nap, with no real relief.
Wednesday, I woke up feeling tired still, but a little less. Hubby and I agreed that we still felt dead that morning, but less dead than the day before.
Upon my arrival at work, my boss said good morning and said I looked tired. I said I was more awake than I had been in days. I walked away laughing to myself. After work, I was tired, but normal tired. I was able to get laundry done, make a new soup recipe, clean up, and even had some energy to read my book. Hubby and agreed earlier in the week that we would not make any social commitments for Saturday and simply enjoy resting at home together.
I have enjoyed watching my recovery process this week thus far and am looking forward to feeling more rejuvenated as we approach the weekend. I have a small sewing project that I would like to work on this weekend and am looking forward to not only completing it, but also having the energy to enjoy the process.
So, here's to learning my lesson and actively practicing not overcommitting myself and honouring God and blessing my family in the process. If you struggle with this issue, I pray that you would be able to learn from me and what God has taught me, and start respecting your energy and calendar better. I pray this blesses and encourages you today, friend.
God Bless
~Hannah