Overcoming Complaining, Gossiping and Slandering.

    The Holy Spirit has recently been convicting me of my sin of complaining, gossiping and slandering. It's hard to admit that in writing, and knowing that people will read this and know the truth. Yes, I could choose not to post this blog. But I love my blog and want to share the things that God is working on in my heart, and so I'm being brave and vulnerable and sharing. I also share to encourage those who read this that they are not alone in their struggles.

    As believers, we are called to confess our sin to each other, and then pray for each other. I'm not necessarily asking for your prayer, but I am confessing this area of sin in my life. It actually took me a couple of days before I told hubby about this recent conviction. I've been super quiet at home recently, which is unusual, and he was worried that something was wrong. He was and is so proud of me for admitting this area of sin in my life, and is likely looking forward to the change that God is doing in me, as am I.

    I work in a factory , which can be a breeding ground for all of these things, so it can be easy to get caught up in all of it. Plus, there have been some changes in management recently, which has brought on some stress. But neither is an excuse for this bad behaviour, and I will be watching my tongue a whole lot more from now on.

As believers are called to be set apart, I need to walk more in that. Out of everything I write about and share, this area of struggle feels like the hardest to admit to. I think I'm part it's hard to admit to because I wonder what people will think of me. I have to remind myself that at the end of the day, the only opinion that matters is God's, and then mine and my husband's and right now all three of us are proud of me. So I guess that's all that matters. Which I suppose sounds prideful, it wasn’t intended to.

    What does this all look like going forward? Well, I'm quieter for one thing. Which was scaring poor hubby. In the past, when I was quiet, it meant that I'm mad, and then he has to ask me several times over why I'm mad, and then I finally tell him, but instead of just telling him, I expode. So understandably, he was a little concerned. We are both getting used to this new reality. I have also noticed that I have more peace in my spirit and soul. It also means that I have to figure out my thoughts a little more than before, but I believe it's good and helps me practice self-control. Which is a fruit of the Spirit.😉

    Now that I'm practicing not complaining, I expect that I will be less pessimistic and more optimistic. In reality, complaining, gossiping and slandering don't help anyone. All they do is hurt people, and I don't want to hurt people. I want to embrace God's love for me and share it with those around me. Mom and I were on the phone visiting while I walked Blessing this afternoon, and she instantly noticed that I sounded really good. Like I’m doing well. I told her that I was doing very well. It didn’t hurt that I had a great day, but overall, my Spirit and soul feel lighter, and I feel more peace. For which I praise God.

    I pray that this encourages, challenges and blesses you in whatever way you need today, friend. I pray that if you do struggle with any of these things, you would turn away from them and feel the peace and freedom that I am now enjoying.

God Bless

~Hannah

Heading down a fresh new beautiful path with God.

Walk Your Own Path

    One afternoon, a week or so ago, Blessing and I set out for our walk. I had been thinking recently of shortening her walk a little and making it more manageable for me. As we headed down our street, I was pondering which route to take. Before we got off our street, the Holy Spirit told me which route to take. One we had walked before, but I had forgotten about. At about the halfway point of our route, we were walking along a sidewalk that was not plowed. So we did our best to follow the footprints from those who had gone before us, which worked for a few minutes but eventually got awkward, because that person's gate is different than mine and therefore their foot steps don't match mine. Meaning that after a few steps, you have to really pay attention to the next footprint because it's not in the spot you want it to be.

    As I was attempting to walk in someone else's footprints, the Holy Spirit reminded me of the importance of walking my own path and not in other's footsteps. Oh, my goodness. What a moment and powerful metaphor. Of which I was not expecting. I was simply taking Blessing out for a walk and was debating listening to a podcast as I did so. I'm glad I didn't listen to one, though. They have their place, and I enjoy them, but I would have missed out on this amazing message and lesson from God if I had been listening to a podcast.

    You see, it all started a few weeks ago. I was thinking how there are some married woman in my life who don't dress up very much, and I think they should dress up for their husband's more often, and dress more like how I dress. Yes, I can hear the arrogance and pride seeping through with every word. My hubby likes it when I get dressed up, and I love getting dressed up for both of us. Also, because of my personal choices, being that I don't wear pants, skirts and dresses are naturally more dressy and therefore the majority of my wardrobe is 'Sunday best.' again, I know I sound supper prideful and arrogant right now. Just give me a minute. I also know that everyone is different, and some men like it when their wives dress up, some like jeans and a t-shirt, and again, some like yoga or track pants on their wives. God has made us all different and given us different tastes, and it's important to respect and honor those tastes and opinions.

    Anyways, when the Holy Spirit talked to me that day on our walk, He was talking about more than just clothing. He was also saying that everyone has a different path in life and that we should not compare His plan for our life vs someone else's life. Easier said than done, of course.

    Fast forward to this week. This morning, in fact. I was spending time reading my Bible and praying. I've been struggling to hear God for the last few days and feeling a bit frustrated about it. I've been rethinking how I spend time with God and wondering if I need to change up my methods to hear better. I have still been praying and reminding myself that even if I can't hear Him in the moment, I know that He does hear me and is answering my prayers according to His will. I know all this because He has answered countless prayers over the years, and He doesn't change. Meaning that even if I can't hear Him in this moment, it doesn't mean that He can't hear me anymore or that I can't hear Him. I was then comparing my husband's relationship with God to my relationship with God. Hubby now hears God more than I do, and for that I am so grateful. He has grown into such an amazing man of God and leader in our home, and I am so blessed. Anyways, while I was comparing my relationship with God to hubby's relationship with God, the Holy Spirit gently reminded me to 'stay in my own lane' and not compare my path with hubby's path. I think my first thought was, 'fair enough,' and possibly followed by, 'hey, I can hear your voice again.'

    So. Now I need to practice staying in my own lane and not comparing my path to other people's paths. I need to focus on following Jesus and loving others.

I pray that this post at least gives you a little chuckle, and at best, it challenged and encouraged you.

God Bless

~Hannah

Driving Through The Storm

    This past Friday, hubby and I were getting ready for Bible study. It would be an hr drive to our host's house. We knew the roads would be rough because of the snowstorm outside.

    Our host lovingly called to confirm whether we were coming because of the weather. I said we were on our way and we're prepared for the weather.

    Hubby and I drove out of our apartment parking lot a few minutes later and headed for the highway. The roads were gross, and the wind was blowing the snow all around. We live in southern Ontario, so farm country. Unlike the north, where I am from, we don't have any trees to block the wind and blowing snow.

We started driving down the small highway. We prayed and confirmed with God that He still wanted us to go to Bible study. He said He was going to take us through the storm. And storm it was. Wind was blowing snow all over the place, making visibility and road conditions bad. So we turned up the worship music and had a praise session through the storm on the way to Bible study. By God's grace, we arrived safely.

    Once Bible study was finished, we visited for a while and then headed home. We left our host's house and started driving down the road. By God's grace, we got through some very unplowed roads as we left the subdivision. Then we had the snow drifts along with blowing snow down the main road. We had minimal visibility as the wind blew the snow for a minute, and then it would calm down, and then all I could see was snow. We also passed several other vehicles on the road while the wind was blowing. So all I could see was blowing snow and headlights coming at me. On the right side of the car was the top of the drifts, which were around 4 ft tall. I kept even pressure on the gas paddle and just kept going. Hubby prayed and asked God to clear the road ahead. A minute later, the wind stopped for good, and the roads were clear. Snow-covered, but plowed. God answered our prayers. Our SUV doesn't have all-wheel drive, nor do we have good winter tires. We have all-season tires, which are better than the ones we had on before. But it's only by God's grace, mercy and protection that we made it through those drifts and blowing snow. He was with us in our vehicle on Friday night, driving us home. He is always with us, of course, but even more so that night.

    We stopped for gas in Sarnia, grabbed a coffee at McDonald's for hubby so that he could stay away and keep me company while I drove. I didn't need a coffee because my stomach was in knots from the blowing wind and snow drifts that God had driven us through a few minutes prior to our stop. We left Sarnia and took the small highway that connects Sarnia to Wallaceburg, and drove smoothly home.

    About 20 minutes before getting home, our host called us. She said that she hasn't heard from us yet and that everyone else from Bible study, minus one couple, had all tried to go home and then turned back to our host’s home and stayed the night at their house. She said that people were stuck in the snow and in the ditch and wanted to check on us. Over the speaker phone that hubby turned on after picking up the phone for me, I told her that we were still 20 minutes away from home, but the road was clear, and we were driving a respectable speed. I told her that the drive leaving her home was a terrible mess. She was glad that we were safe and confirmed that I would still text her once we arrived safely in our apartment. In hind sight, I should have told her how long of a drive we expected to have so she would have had an idea of when to expect my text. But either way, we appreciated her calling.

    Twenty minutes later, we arrived home, and I took Blessing for a bedtime pee. After texting our host and my in-laws because they, too, are a part of our Bible study, we climbed into bed.

    Hubby and I spent part of Saturday morning reminiscing on how good God is and that it was only through Him that we got home safely. We have gotten stuck in much less snow before and had to dig ourselves out.

    Friend, if you don't already know or need a reminder, we serve and worship a powerful and mighty God. The creator of the heavens and the earth and the one who sent His one and only son to die on the cross for our sins.

    If you don't know God yet, then I pray that you would come to have a relationship with Him. I pray that reading my blog would show you who God is in my life and all the things He has done in and through me. Maybe you didn't grow up with faith, or maybe you grew up with some form of faith or religion and have turned away for whatever reason. Whatever the case may be, you are loved by God, and He wants to have a relationship with you. A personal relationship.

I pray that this testimony of God's goodness and protection would encourage you today, friend.

God Bless

~Hannah 

My mom feeding birds on "The Granny Bench" trail.

No Longer Looking for Man's Approval.

    God did an amazing miracle in my life late last week. That has changed my life, and I still can’t believe it. I have struggled with self-hatred and self-worth issues for as long as I can remember. I also try to stay busy for busy sake and to avoid my pain.

    I have been slowly working through Joyce Meyer's book, 'Authentically, uniquely you.' I read it a few years ago, and then I was gifted a copy shortly after I read the library's copy. I thought, in January, it would be a good book to start off the year with. God has been using it along with His Spirit to help me along in my journey. I reject myself very regularly, and the enemy has a heyday regularly telling me that I'm not worth it and such.

    

    The other morning at work, I was very worked up and fighting in my head with my husband, over absolutely nothing. Build up stress from the week, and my mind was going nuts with it. I decided to hang out on social media for a few minutes on my break. I have been doing a social media fast for the month of January, minus posting my blogs, and decided I could handle returning to that world for a few minutes. To let my brain numb out via a screen for a few minutes.

    It honestly did wonders for me. I came back from break feeling refreshed and set free. You see, I also struggle with what people think of me. Do they think I eat too much chocolate? Do they think I spend too much time on my phone and on social media? So on and so on. Well, I believe God used these few minutes to help me decompress and see the truth. God made me unique, just like he did for you. And all the things that I like, chocolate, and seeing a handful of people's posts online, are just a few of the things that make up who I am. And I no longer need to worry about what other people think about me.

After the break, I returned to my paint booth and pondered the things God had just taught me. I had such peace, and nearly started to cry because I am no longer worried about what others think about me. God has broken the chains of worrying about what others think of me.

    Within 24hrs, I noticed that my sense of self-worth had gone up. A “side effect” that I was not expecting to come from no longer caring what others thought of me. Of course, it made sense, though, because now that I was no longer worrying what others were thinking, I could focus on what God says about me. He says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:13-14. NIV.

    I also noticed that I stopped attaching my worth to things. Instead, seeking to find my identity and worth in Christ alone. Something I am going to have to practice daily. But, one step at a time. I also attach my worth to my opinion and things, and then if I feel that someone, mainly hubby, doesn't agree with the thing or the opinion, then in my mind, he is attacking my worth. Which, of course, he is not. Which leads to far more petty arguments than necessary.

    Since God healed me,  I feel a sense of peace and calm instead of always being heightened and ready to defend myself. We have had one minor squabble; I was getting heightened. Hubby lovingly called me out and told me I was attaching my worth to my opinion again. Within a minute or two, I calmed down, and we continued talking about the topic at hand. I am making progress, though. I was trying a new recipe the other night, and he wondered why they left out an ingredient. I didn't know. I decided to check the recipe. He was right, the ingredient that I left out was supposed to be there. I found the ingredient in the cupboard and continued making supper. I looked at hubby and said, 'The old me would have gotten upset about this.' he agreed.

    I am still in awe of what God has done for me and how it has changed my life, our marriage and our home. I have been fighting this battle for many years and asking God for help. He has answered my prayers and healed my heart and soul.

    I pray that God brings you the healing that you are praying for and seeking after, as well, friend. I pray that this post encourages you and reminds you that you are not alone in your struggles and that we serve a Good God who loves us and has amazing plans for our lives. Plans far bigger and better than we could ever imagine.

God Bless

~Hannah