The topic for Day 1 was recognizing your worth and value.
Proverbs 31:10. “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.”
Noble character: a person possessing high moral principles, integrity and a magnanimous spirit. Ex. Courage, honesty, and selflessness.
I am in the process of becoming a Proverbs 31 woman and a wife of noble character. I am better at practicing the qualities that a wife of noble character possesses when I am not feeling worthless or irritable. Holy Spirit is doing a lot of work in me at the moment. I realize that those are both feelings and should not be allowed to dictate things, but sometimes they do. I struggle with my emotions. But I desire to be a blessing to my husband and those around me, and now I'm thinking about it and wonder if I can be a blessing to myself. Is that a thing?
2 Tim 3:16-17 “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”
Every word, every sentence of the Bible is helpful and useful for teaching. We can learn something valuable from every word even if it doesn't apply to our current situation. We can still learn from it.
Psalms 139:14 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
One of my favourite verses. I struggle to believe it someday, though; the morning that I started this reading plan was one of those mornings, and now that I'm writing and preparing to make it into a blog post, I feel like I'm retraumatizing myself with feelings from a few weeks ago that resurface regularly. The idea of triggering yourself is a weird feeling. I guess I never realized you could trigger yourself. Anyways, I'm fighting through these feelings because I want to write about this passage of scripture.
While I was processing this Bible study, I was also struggling with how to separate my worth and my work in my everyday life. Meaning, how do I separate my adult responsibilities of cooking and cleaning for my family like every other responsible adult, but also reminding myself that it has nothing to do with my God-given value? Because work is not a bad thing. God gives us each work to do. It has been a few weeks since I started writing this post. Life has been busy. One of the mindsets I struggle with is the idea that when hubby asks me to do something for him, it somehow takes away my worth and value. Don’t ask, I can’t explain it. Anyways, I’m working on practicing reminding myself that it doesn’t take away my worth and that not only does hubby have value, but he is worth taking care of. If anything, taking care of others adds value to ourselves.
The author of this Devo tries to encourage us that the P31 woman isn't real. Personally, I think she is. I think she is what God desires for all women. Not in a condemning way, but in an encouraging way. She is what we are aiming for, but we need to remind ourselves that we will not be perfect or check all the boxes. But we are to work towards her. But don't beat yourself up when you don't meet the mark. This text should bring freedom. I don’t believe we are all called to be a carbon copy of a P31 woman, but our own unique version of her.
This passage refers to all women, to the working wife, the working wife with kids and the stay-at-home mom and the housewife. We are all in there. All the elements of womanhood, so to speak, are in this passage. But not every verse is for everyone in every season. I guess some parts are literal and some are figurative depending on your season of life.
The author reminds us that we are precious in God's eyes. The first verse in this passage talks about her worth, before her works are mentioned. When I first read that, I was so taken aback I didn't want to believe it at first and went and did a Google search to remind myself of what 'noble character ' really meant: that the word character refers to your personality, not your actions. I wrestled with the Holy Spirit over it for a bit. I wanted to believe that that was what I was reading, but struggling to accept it. The devotional portion of the Bible study stopped me in my tracks. I had never noticed that God says she is valued as a person before her wonderful deeds. I finally came to accept it. I went and shared with hubby what the Holy Spirit had revealed to me. I also realized that deep down I didn't want to work and earn my worth, and yet I feel that I have to. Yes, I know what Scripture says. I also struggle with that. If I just lost you on that, let me explain. Scripture says I don't have to earn my worth. Period. Okay, my struggle with all of us is that I don't want to have to work for my worth, but my head/heart (not sure which one is which at the moment) tells me that I do have to work for it, and that makes me upset.
I went and shared all this with hubby. It felt like a big aha moment. I explained that I was feeling upset at the need to earn my worth. I said I understand what Scripture says and explained the disconnect. He then basically stopped me in my tracks and informed/reminded me that I was and am dealing with a spirit of religion. Religion says you have to work to get into heaven. But God says that it's a gift freely given. I don't think I realized that I had a religious spirit on me. Something I need to ask God's help on.
Also, I'm feeling better now. I worked through the negative emotions from earlier as I wrote out the first bit of this post and now am feeling better.
Proverbs 31:11-12 “her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm all the days of her life.”
After reading these verses, I asked myself how I am doing in this department. I believe 90% of the time I bring him good and not harm. One of my struggles is along with working on my worth, is that I don't love myself, and that overflows into our marriage by me struggling to love him as well and not becoming reactive when something happens that triggers my issues.
1 Cor 12:17-20. “If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.”
Many parts, but one body.
Proverbs 31:27 “she watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
Day 2 is about stewarding your relationships.
The author starts by talking about the importance of trust in our relationships. Regardless if we are married and referring to our relationship with our husband or just our girlfriends. In our friendships, it could look like keeping any plans we make with our friends. Within our marriage and household, it's about being trustworthy, dependable and reliable, among other things. It's about keeping your word and completing whatever tasks you agreed to do in the timeline you agreed to. Our husbands have confidence in us knowing that we will make dinner for our family and that we will do our best to have it served on time. Or whatever the task is.
The author then adds the passage about all the different parts of the body of Christ and how that is both played out in our friendships and in our marriages.
Proverbs 31, verses 11 and 12 also speak to the fact that she respects, honours and submits to her husband. The text doesn't directly say that she does submit, but I imagine that she does, considering her character.
She is a blessing to him and takes care of all the details of their life. She sees to it that his favourite snacks are refilled and his shower gel never runs out.
Proverbs 31:27. “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
She looks after her household. She pays attention to her family's needs and doesn't worry about what the neighbours are doing. She isn't comparing her home and the dirty dishes in the sink, although there probably aren't any, to the neighbours' highlight reel from their recent vacation.
Culture these days tries to tell us that we don't need traditional gender roles or that romantic relationships can work between same sex couples. The Bible is clear, though, that it doesn't work. Traditional gender roles work because that's how God created us to function. Every marriage is a little different, of course, but for the majority of couples, traditional roles work.
At the end of each day's reading, the author gives a challenge. Today's challenge asks us to make a list of the roles we play in our lives. Child of God, wife, daughter, employee, etc. It then goes on to ask us how we can serve more intentionally in those relationships. Not necessarily with more time/energy. But are there other ways we can be more intentional in our roles and relationships?
Day 3 is about using what is in your hands.
P 31:13-14 “she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.”
Not only does she work hard, but she has a good attitude about it. I am a hard worker, but I don't always have a good attitude about it. She ensures that her family is well fed and looked after. She is willing to travel a distance and inconvenience herself in order for them to eat good food. She puts effort into feeding her family. Actually, she puts effort into everything she does. She doesn't just order in. That being said, ordering in does have its place.
Exodus 4:2 “then the Lord said to him, 'what is that in your hand?' "A staff," he replied.”
Ephesians 3:20-21 “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”
On the days that I have energy, I work happily. But on the days when I'm tired, or something else is wrong, I don't work with a joyful heart. A little convicting today. Holy Spirit, with the help of hubby, recently convicted me that it's not enough to do a task without complaining; our actions, particularly including our body language, need to be loving. Actions speak louder than words.
The author talks about how many woman now work outside the home as much as inside the home. Holy Spirit is convicting me about making sure I give my best at home along with work. I give my best at work, but tend to not give my best effort at home. I apologized to hubby when I got home. Then started making changes.
We should also think about the gifts and talents that God has given you and ask Him if you can make a side hustle out of it. He might say no, or not yet, but He might say yes.
Personally, I was raised with the opinion that even if you, as a wife, are not working outside the home, you should have some sort of job to help your family. Mom ironed shirts for a man and cleaned houses.
God is not asking us to be perfect. But He is asking us to do our best with what He has given us and to love on those around us well. By human standards, the Proverbs 31 woman is an impossible standard, but with God, all things are possible.
I pray that this post teaches, encourages, challenges, and blesses you today, friend.
God Bless
~Hannah
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