Time to Declutter

    This past week I decided that my life is too cluttered. From the amount of stuff I have around my home all the way to how many apps I have on the cell phone and everything in between. I decided my first task would be to clean up my "phone time" and stop aimlessly scrolling on Facebook when I need to "kill time" or just need a few minutes to myself to chill. When in reality screen time is not relaxing, it contributes to your "fight or flight" response. No, I have no research to back up this claim. I just know that for myself and a few other people I have spoken to that the less screen time they have the less stressed and overreact/ get triggered less.

    So instead of scrolling on Facebook I started using my time a little more wisely and decided to start "scheduling" my Facebook time. Yes, I know that sounds ridiculous, but this way I can still go on and post my blog, connect with friends and family but not spend so much time that I end up aimlessly scrolling. It's all about moderation.

    The first few days were great and I accomplished a lot. It went a little downhill though when I replaced 20 minutes of scrolling with an episode of a TV show on Netflix. Netflix is not bad either though, but this was not the point of the exercise. That being said, I watch very little V.

    Anyways, before I got distracted though I was making good progress, and of course we all know that growth is not linear, there will be up and downs, so I am not going to be hard on myself, simply learning as I go.

    The next area that I wanted to start decluttering was my phone, so I looked through all my apps, notes in my memo pad, and my gallery (mainly my screenshot album) and started cleaning out all the things I no longer need, use or want. I was pleasantly surprised by how much stuff I had on my phone that I no longer needed.

    After that, I wanted to tackle my purse, which took just a few minutes though because I regularly clean it out. I would like to clean out my wallet as well and see how many cards I have that I have no need for or use.

    I have started making mental notes of all the "stuff" that we have in our home and how once we move in the new year I want to decorate our new apartment and anything that does not find a home gets donated or sold instead of simply putting it into storage with the mindset that "someday I will use that." No, I am not a hoarder, we simply have lived in small spaces since day one and thus never have the room to use all the things that have been lovingly gifted to us or we have purchased over the years and I am now ready to make decisions about the items that have been sitting in storage for years.  We are hoping for a bigger apartment for the new year and are just waiting to hear back from the company, so with a bigger place, we can decorate with more things and thus figure out what stuff is in storage we want to keep. I am also tired of dusting and maintaining all the things we have on display currently, but I want to see how they will fit in our new home.

    I have read that mental clutter is a result of physical clutter. There are lots of quotes on the internet that state that sentence with more eloquence and sound more poetic, but the meaning stays the same. The more stuff, the more stress. At least that is how I am feeling these days. I am tired of having to schedule a time to clean and tidy my home when I would rather be reading a book or spending time with my family. Do not get me wrong though, our home is clean and tidy, but I suspect with less stuff it will take less time to keep clean. I once heard someone say that their goal was to have 80% of their home clean 80% of the time. I love this idea and want to start implementing it. You see, I am an all-or-nothing kind of person. If the dishes are not done but the counter, table, and floor are clean, the kitchen is still not clean. If the bathtub is not scrubbed, but the rest of the bathroom is clean, it is still not cleaned in my book. So not only am I going to reduce the amount of stuff I have I also want to start giving myself more grace if my home is not 100% spotless 100% of the time.

    This next part is my favorite. I am excited to clean out my closet. Said no women ever right? I have started making a mental list and now a partial physical pile of clothing that I either no longer like or simply never wear. I am going through my closet with the Marie Kondo method and weeding out the clothing that I no longer love and blessing others with it. The part that makes me excited about this part of my cleaning is because I am going, to be honest with myself and decide what clothing items bring me joy and confidence versus what I think other people want to see me wear or expect me to wear or clothing I am wearing trying to be someone else. No, clothing does not define a person, but it does tell the world around you and yourself who you are.

    The final step in my declutter, or at least for now, is my daily schedule and routine. For about a week I have been waking up early every morning about thirty minutes before I have to get up. A couple of mornings I went back to sleep and a couple of mornings I simply got up. I did not give much thought to my new wake times at first until one evening Blessing and I were out for our evening walk and was processing my daily schedule and praying through my frustration about my daily routine. During my prayer, I told God that I am tired of how my evenings run and how at best I have thirty minutes to myself before showing and climbing into bed. God then told me to get up at 4:30 am instead of 5 am and then explained what tasks that are normally in the evening or sometimes get skipped all together can be done in the mornings. I instantly felt relief and excitement to alter my routine in the coming days to alter my morning and evening routine giving me more downtown for both myself and my family. There are still lots of tweaking to do, but it is a start. It is funny how a few days ago I was a little annoyed because I wept waking up early, now I know God had a plan all along. God was simply preparing the way and then prepared me for it.

    I find it funny though that I have spent just over a week doing a lot of mental work in prep for this declutter, and yet only now, a week later I have finally found the time to write in my journal at 7 am on a Saturday, in my kitchen while a batch of cookies baking in the oven. Yes, you read that right. I am up and baking at 7 am on a Saturday. Actually, I was up at 4:30 this morning, got myself ready for the day, and then headed to the kitchen at 6 am to start baking cookies for all the family gatherings to attend over the next few weeks. I feel a little like Betty Crocker at the moment. In my kitchen at 6 am with my hair and makeup done for the day and dressed for this evening's activities while baking in prep for it.

    I pray friends that as we navigate through this busy time of year we can all take an inventory of our time, energy, "stuff", and resources and see if it does not only represent who we are but more importantly who God is and what He has done for us. I once saw a quote that said, "If you are too busy to pray, you are busier than God intended." Not exactly what we are talking about today, but if you spend all your time dusting your knickknacks and leave little to no time to spend with God, then it's kind of the same thing. We have too much stuff friends.

    I pray this post blesses and encourages you where ever it finds you today.

    God Bless

    ~Ruth

    Today's picture was taken when my hubby and I first got our camera a couple years ago. Taken down the road from my now late grandparent's cottage. This picture depicts a beautiful open field and open space and that is what I am working on making in my home and life. Open space and time.

    When I took this picture I gave very little though to it, we were simply walking down the road to the cemetery to visit the gave of some of my relatives. In fact the light and quality of this picture is not what I would choose today, which just goes to show my growth as a photographer, but more importantly it is no longer a "poor quality picture", it is a memory of the home and life that my grandparents build and a reminder to not take anything for granted.

Jesus loves me, this I know.

     All my life I have struggled with knowing and accepting God's love for me. Yes, I know the Sunday school songs and John 3:16 but, it has never been heart knowledge for me. For years I have thought of Him as my Lord and Savior along with my provider and protector but never someone who loves me.

    Because I have never experienced His love for me or at least not in a way that spoke to my heart, I went to other sources for that love. Mainly my hubby. One problem though, my hubby, as amazing as he is, is not able to give me the love that I need from God, nor is he supposed to be able to give me that kind of love. As you can imagine that has put stress on our marriage over the years.

    Recently my hubby reminded me that I need to go to God for love, as he has many times before. This time though, it clicked in my mind and heart. Later that day I'm in the shower, crying, both literally and crying out to God asking Him to show me His love.

    He so clearly spoke to my heart and told me that He put Jesus on the cross because of how much He loves me.

    It finally started to hit me. Love is an action. God sending Jesus to the cross was and is the greatest act of love that mankind has ever seen and it is finally hitting home for me.

    I let the news settle for a few days with the intention of digging more into this new revelation. Unfortunately, a few days passed and I forgot. Then a week later I was in my journal and saw what I had written the day God first gave me the revelation and started praying over this new knowledge. I asked God to show me a scripture that started in plain English that He loves me. Outside of John 3:16 that is. Simply because I have taken that verse for granted for years and needed to see a "new" verse in a fresh way. He reminded me of 1st Corinthians 13:4-7. A passage that lists the actions and characteristics of someone who loves you. The first two are patience and kindness. That stopped me in my tracks. God has shown me patience and kindness countless times throughout my entire life. As the truth of this passage started to sink in over the next few days I started to notice a change in my spirit. I feel more confident in who I am and less of a need to prove myself to both those around me and to myself. All because I now know and understand just how much God loves me and knowing that someone thinks you are with dying for is a pretty big confidence builder. I feel calmer and find myself resting in my new self-esteem. What a joy these last few days have been. I'm excited to learn more about God's love for me and then show that love to those around me.

    Friends, I pray that you either know this truth already or are like me and are in the process of learning about God's amazing love for us. I also pray that we both continue to learn about God and deepen our relationships with Him.

    I pray this post finds you well this Sunday afternoon and blesses you.

    God Bless

    ~Ruth

Today's Photo is simply a photo that I love and am proud of.

My Rings

    It's been six and a half years since we said "I do" and my hubby put my wedding ring on my finger, completing my set with my engagement ring. Then three years into our marriage I started a physically involved job that damaged my ring. I probably should not have been wearing it in the first place, but I did. So it went into my jewelry box until we could fix it. It then sat there for three years. Between not having the income to fix it and working a job that either did not allow it or was simply a bad idea, I have not touched it in years.

    Well, we are now finally in a much better financial position and my new job is significantly safer and involves less machinery than my previous jobs. So I took it to the local jeweler and had them fix it. The arms that hold the pink rock and one of the smaller white rocks on the engagement ring needed tightening. A week later I had my ring set on my finger, all shiny and new.

    I have been wearing cheap Walmart rings for years and missing my real one. Not anymore though. My rings are fixed and back on my finger where they belong. It is hard to believe that they are finally back. I have been waiting years, half of our married life to be exact and now they are back. It is hard to believe that it finally happened. Every now and then I look down to double-check that it was not all just a dream. At one point I started to wonder if we would ever be able to fix them.

    As I started writing this journal entry, I started to question myself. I thought, "Who cares that I fixed my wedding ring set. No one will want to read that blog post." Then I reminded myself that I care and that is all the reason I need to write it. I want to write more and practice my skills. I often think that I do not have a whole lot to write about, but it is time to stop listening to that lie and start writing. So here it is, and to those who also feel insecure about their writing or other skill, remember that you are, I care and most importantly God cares. God gave you your craft and skill set for a reason. So use it and bring Him glory, after all, that is why He put us on earth.

    So go. Go, get a pen and piece of paper, a cup of your favorite drink, and a cozy chair and let your imagination run free. Be blessed my friends and enjoy your God-given skills and talents.

    Ps. If you are like me and spelling and grammar are not your best friend. Use grammerly.

Today's photo is my ring set, back from the jeweler. I love how beautifully it sits on the cushion of late grandfather's rocking chair. I tried to use a point background but it was not working. I guess you can have too much pink.😉 Who would have thought. 💁

High Standards

    The other day I was working on a task with someone. When we arrived at the point where they felt that it was complete, they wanted to leave. It upset me because, to me, it was not. This landed us in an argument. The person left, and I finished the task to my standards. Now, in no way is this story about blaming the other person. I am intentionally not saying who they are because it is not about them. It's about me and God. I debated not sharing this post in case anyone figures out who this person is and develops ill feelings towards this person on my behalf. I decided to post it though because I wanted to share with you all what God has been doing in my heart and life recently. So where we go.

    After they walked away, I prayed through my frustration and asked God to convict me of my sin and show me where I was wrong. I was not sure if I was wrong, so I figured I would let God be the judge of that. After I calmed down, I went to the person, they were angry. I asked why. They said that my standards were too high.

    I pondered their anger for a minute with the desire to make it right. I felt bad that I had hurt them, but I did not feel bad for having high standards. After another minute of pondering I said to the person that I was sorry for hurting them with my high standards. I was not sorry for having high standards, I believe they are God-given, but I was sorry for hurting them. They forgave me, and we moved on.

    The next day, a friend and fellow believer asked me if God had been teaching me anything new recently. I pondered for a minute and recounted the above story and said that God was teaching me that it is okay to have high standards, good even. I cannot put them on others though or expect others to live up to my standards. I was amazed at the timing of their question because I had not thought of the previous day's experiences as God teaching me something. It was an amazing "God moment."

    God has made each one of us different, different likes and dislikes, and so on. He also gave us different standards. This is good because if we all had the same standards the world would be a very different place.

    So now God is teaching me that He did give me high standards, but I am not allowed to push them on others or get mad when someone does not live up to mine.

This whole new learning curve has been a breath of fresh air and has stopped me from getting upset when those around me do not do things the way I think they should be done. Yes, I know I sound like a control freak because I am one. That is something else I am working on. One thing at a time though. Because I am no longer frustrated when people do not do things to my standards, I am now able to live with more peace and harmony with myself and those around me. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest.

You see, by getting upset that someone does not have the same standards or do things the way you do it, we are telling God that He did not create that person properly. I do not know about you, but I have no intention of telling God, the creator of heaven and earth that He messed up when He created someone. So the next time you get frustrated that someone does not do a task the way you want it done, remember that God created them that way. Now, maybe they do have some growing to do in that area, but that is not up to us. It is up to God. So I am going to God with my frustrations and say, "here, you deal with this."

So, friends, it has been a big week for me as I walk in this new lesson from God and not impose my standards on others.

I pray that this post finds you well and blesses you.

God Bless

~Ruth

I  chose this photo today because when I originally took the picture it did not turn out the way I wanted. So I did a bit of editing to bring it up to my high standards, and this beauty is now the end result. Enjoy. 😊

I am so grateful.

    Grateful has been my word for the last few weeks. At the beginning of November, God blessed my hubby and I with a new job for me. We moved at the end of September and I spent October making our temporary living space a home while looking for work. It was a difficult month because a lot of my self-worth is tied to my ability to bring in a paycheck. I applied for lots of jobs and had a few interviews but nothing was happening. I finally applied to a factory that happened to be one kilometer from where we are currently staying. Hello, quick commute. So I applied. I did not know anything about the business let alone have the job experience to put on my resume, but I went anyway. I walked into the visitor entrance and told the receptionist that I wanted to hand in my resume and she replied with "I want to give you an interview." I walked out of the office a minute later with an interview set up for the following morning. Praise the Lord.

    The next morning God blessed me with a great interview. Whereby the time I walked out of it, the man conducting the interview had to hold back from hiring me on the spot. I could see the wheels turning in his head and he was trying not to hire me on the spot. Most of the time when you walk out of an interview you have no idea what the person thought. This time I knew and I was relatively certain that I would get a call with an offer of employment.

    I am so grateful.

    Two days later I received a phone call with an offer of employment and that orientation would start the following Monday, the phone call occurred at 12:30 pm on Friday. Two days later I would be an employee. I applied on October 26th and one week later, on November 1st I had a job.

    I am so grateful.

    I did not know what shift I was going to be on. There was a day shift and an afternoon shift. Not only am I a morning person, but I have also worked on the afternoon shift for a different company and was miserable. The shift time was not the only reason for my misery, but it was a good chunk of it. Plus my husband works from 8 till 5 pm, so if I got the days shift we would be able to have dinner together and share our evenings, versus only seeing each other on the weekends. So I spent the next three days praying for the day shift. When I attended orientation I was informed that I was on the day shift. Praise the Lord. An answer to our prayers.

    I am so grateful.

    So now I work in a local factory, making good money and in six months we will have benefits.

    I am so grateful.

    It is not a glamorous job. It is a dusty factory. I wear work boots and I come home dusty and sometimes dirty, but I have a job. For the last few years, I have been wanting to work somewhere I could dress nicely and put myself together. For now, though God has been putting me in businesses where I wear steel-toe shoes and generally do not want to sit down on my furniture before I have showered and changed. That is okay though because I like my work boots and I do not mind coming home dusty or dirty. You see, the last few weeks have taught me that I can enjoy both sides of my personality, the girly girl on the weekends and the work boot wearing general labor during the week. I also struggled a little with the idea of working in a "dead end job" of a factory, but then I remembered that someone has to do it because we do need products that are made in factories, and therefore it is an important job. It may not always look like an important job, but it is. Because God has given it to me to help take care of my family.

    I am so grateful.

    Maybe someday I will work in an office setting and get to wear high heels to work and curl my hair, but for now, I am going to embrace my work boots and my french braid. Because God has blessed my family with a second income. An income that we need, but God has brought it to us. I spent a lot of time praying for this job in October and God did some work in my hard in regards to my mindset about why I wanted the job. In the beginning, my reasons were a whole lot more selfish, mixed in with a few good reasons for wanting a job.

    Then one day, God, Blessing, and I were on a walk and God explained to me that I needed to change my desire for having a job from want to "contribute" to my family finances to "being a helpmate" Genesis 2:20, to my husband and helping pay our bills. Boy, was that ever a gamechanger in my thought process.

    I am so grateful.

    Now we are blessed with two incomes and are able to not only pay our bills but are also able to take some of the financial goals we have had for a few years now and start putting them into action. No, money is not everything, and yes, I do struggle with putting money on a high shelf closer to God than I should and I am working on it. It is, however, a tool that God has given to us to use for His glory and our pleasure.

    So every time someone has asked me over the last few weeks how I like my job, I simply say that I am grateful to have a job. God is protecting me in this factory, (another story for another day) and providing for my family. We serve a great and mighty God friends.

    I am so grateful.

I pray that this post blesses you today in your walk with Christ.

God Bless

~Ruth

After my orientation on the Monday morning, my hubby and I had an apt, I saw these trees on our drive that day and decided after words I would return for a photo shoot. I am so grateful for how this picture turned out. 😉

28 Things That I am Thankful For

    I decided I wanted to write down twenty-eight things that I am thankful for my birthday. Twenty-eight representing how old I will be in two days. So I finished cleaning the kitchen after dinner and headed upstairs to my journal to start writing. Seventeen minutes later I had my list. Of course, there are many more things and people who I am thankful for but these are the ones that God brought to my mind and heart first. I then got up at 4:30 Thursday morning, I was born at 4:40 am. Sat down with my list and started thanking God for all these blessings. What are you thankful for today friends?

1. Jesus dying on the cross for me. If God had not sent His one and only son to die on the cross for me. Then I would not be here.
2. My God who never fails me. I serve an amazing God who never fails me and never changed. He is the only person who never changes and thus will never fail us. We can always count on Him. Friends, family, and the rest of the world may fail us, and that is okay because a) God will not fail us and b) we are sinful human beings and therefore not perfect and going to fail each other. There have been many unknown seasons in my life where God gently reminded me that it was okay because He never fails.
3. My husband. The man of my dreams. My encourager, my biggest cheerleader, my knight in shining armor. I love you, Sweetie. You are one of my favorite gifts from God.
4. My family. I am grateful that I come from a big family whom I love. I am also thankful for my in-laws and the way they welcomed me into their family all those years ago as if I had always been a part of their family.
5. Blessing. My four-legged best friend. When we were shopping for Blessing I was out for a walk praying about her name. I had a few ideas floating around in my head. God then told me her name would be "Blessing." When I asked why He said, "Because she is going to be a blessing." I figured that was a good answer and told my hubby what God said. From the moment we brought her home she has been a blessing.
6. My health. Now I do not have perfect health, I do have things that I have to deal with and occasionally they get in the way, but they do not dictate my life the way that heart problems, diabetes, cancer, etc affect others. So even though I am not perfectly healthy, I am thankful that my health problems do not get in the way of living my life.
7. My hobbies and the passions that God has put on my heart. Reading, writing, photography, and training Blessing. I have only started digging into these activities on a serious and regular basis over the last year or so, but I am thankful for them and the joy that they bring me.
8. The skills that God has given me so that I can earn a living and help my hubby with our bills. some days people ask me what I want to do for a living or simply for a short-term paycheck. I have worked in a handful of industries and gained lots of skills from them. One day I was wondering if having too many skills was a bad thing, then it occurred to me that some people have limited skills and thus limited options. So I am thankful that I have lots of skills and thus lots of options.
9. My mom. For teaching me about Jesus. If it was not for her, I would not be a believer.
10. My dad. He is always ready and excited for an adventure. Whether that be a bike ride, hike, skating, moving me around the province, or troubleshooting my home appliances.
11. My father-in-law. For always fixing our car. He and my hubby are down in the shop getting our new car fixed up as I write them. Raising the man of my dreams (along with my mother-in-law of course) and welcoming me into his family.
12. My sister. Girl talk, need I say more. I love going to weekend visits to her house. Big back yard with two dogs for Blessing to play with, and her two boys adore my hubby. To me, that makes for a pretty great weekend.
13. The work ethic that my parents instilled in me at a young age.
14. My ability to move without any physical limitations. I do not require the assistance of a cane, walker, or anything else. If I had these limitations I would not be able to share in Blessing's love of running. I suspect that many people, myself included taking our ability to move freely without any limitations for granted. So today I am thankful that I do not have limitations.
15. My husband working and bringing in an income. He has struggled to find work that he enjoys over the years and now he has found one and I am grateful for it.
16. My freedom in Canada. Normally I take my freedom for granted. Not anymore though. With Covid-19 and all the changes and restrictions, especially over the last few months, I am reminded of just how thankful I am that I live in Canada.
17. A roof over my head. Many people do not have this. I am thankful that I have a roof over my head and a place to call home.
18. Running water. Clean running water, hot or cold. Many people in third world countries, or even in our back yard do not have this basic human need. I am thankful that I have them.
19. Electricity. I am grateful to live in a first-world country.
20. Freedom to worship God. I have the freedom to drive to my local house of worship and enjoy fellowship with other believers and not be afraid that I will be arrested or killed for it. Thank you, Lord.
21. My family is under one roof. My hubby came down south at Easter to start working for his grandfather. A job that we are very grateful for. It was hard at first having my hubby away during the week, then we got used to it and by the end, we were sick of it. We miss Cambridge but we are happy to be together again.
22. Our new car. With all the travel in the last six months, our Nissan Altima died on us just before our move. Which was part of the reason why we decided to move early. Well we lined up a new is a week ago and now we are just finalizing the paperwork for it and will start enjoying it this weekend.
23. Tea with honey. One of my favorite way to relax and unwind. Usually paired with a book and or milk chocolate.
24. Milk chocolate. I may love living a healthy and active life, but I also love my chocolate.
25. The colour pink. my happy colour.
26. My many wonderful friends from near and far. Way too many to name or count.
27. All the places I have lived and the people I have met. It has been hard moving to different towns because it means leaving people behind, but on the flip side, it is a joy because it means that I have touched people's lives and they have touched mine.
28. Another year of life. Thank you, Lord.

I pray this post finds you well and reminds you to thank God for the big things and the little things.

God Bless

~Ruth

For today's photos I wanted to do a self-portrait photoshoot for my birthday. It took a lot of strength to do it because I did not want to feel prideful or vain about it. In fact I had a hard time telling my hubby about it because I was embarrassed. I knew he would not judge me, but that just goes to show how nervous I was about doing it. I simply do not want people to get the wrong impression of me. My motivation for the photoshoot was a) practicing portrait photography and b) a little self-esteem boost/birthday present to myself.

Finding my Worth in Christ

    This past week my hubby, Blessing, and I moved down to my hubby's hometown because he started working for his grandfather's mechanic shop a few months ago.

    After a successful moving weekend, hubby went back to work and I continued the unpacking process.

    Before long, a day, maybe two, I started to feel very worthless because I was not bringing in an income yet. Yes, I know how dramatic that sounds, we have been in a new town for less than a week, mostly settled into our apartment, and yet I'm complaining that I do not have a place of employment to go to yet. Just humor me for a minute. My husband is faithfully going to work every day, for which I am very grateful. Because we are staying on the family property for now, which is above his grandfather's mechanic shop, everyone downstairs is working, and I am not. Guess you could say I  feel worthless and jealous.

    Don't get me wrong. I have been putting out resumes and working on making our new living space a home. I am not simply sitting around watching tv all day.

    It occurred to me mid-week how much of my self-worth comes from doing versus being. This friend is when God pulls me aside and we have a good heart-to-heart. He reminded me that I am a daughter in Christ. Period. He reminded me that I find security in my account balance verse how much I trust God to provide for my needs. Ouch, yeah, that stung. I know He will provide for me because He always has and because God never changes, therefore He always will provide for me.

    So for the last few days, I have been praying and wrestling through my trust issues with God and wanting to work and bring in an income. He has also taught me that the desire to work is good. God gives us the skills to work and provide for our families. When we want a job for the wrong reason, ie to make money instead of sharing our faith with our coworkers.  As much as I do not want to admit it, I will be honest with myself and with you and say that I wanted a job for the money. So it is also time for a perspective change.

    Funny enough, my husband and I had planned for me to have a week off after we moved so I could set up our home, and here we are, end of the week, and I did not enjoy it. Funny how that turned out. I completely forgot that I wanted a week off, but once I saw everyone else working, I wanted to work too.

    By now, I'm sure you can tell that my thoughts and heart have been all over the place last few days. If you are still reading and have not gotten lost, I give you a gold star. Thankfully God is helping me iron out the wrinkles.

    Part of the problem this past week is that I do not sit very well. Of course, I have not been physically sitting, I have spent the week setting up my morning routine, decorating our apartment and making it a home for my family, and finding lots of new places for Blessing and me to walk. So despite setting up our life here, I am not bringing in an income yet and therefore feel worthless among other things. As you can see it has been a very unpleasant time in my head and my heart.

    Thankfully God has blessed me with a supportive family. Between my husband and a few other members, I have been able to vent my thoughts and share my heart with them and receive encouragement.

    This brings me to this morning. During my devotional time with God, I was writing out my prayers and pouring out my heart to God. He reminded me of my worth in Christ. He then led me to Casting Crown's "I am Yours," as I meditated on the lyrics and allowed it to wash over me. I started to feel at peace because I am a daughter of Christ and am worthy because He makes me worthy.

    Yes, I am still looking for work and am looking forward to contributing to my family's finances. I am okay because God is in control and will take care of it all. Okay, fine, I am not completely fine yet, I am still working on accepting it all, but in time I will be.

    You see, on a human level, I am a strong, capable, resilient, hardworking woman who is used to working a physically demanding job and then coming home to my family. So when you take away my place of employment, all I have to do is make dinner and exercise Blessing. One family member reminded me that I am used to working it is hard for me to sit. They also encouraged me to use my time off to lean into God that much more because God has given me some time off.

    Another friend reminded me that it's been a crazy few months, now God is giving me a chance to catch my breath. So I am going to try to enjoy it now. I want to pursue my relationship with God more, and dig deeper into my hobbies and develop my skills in writing and photography.

    So there it is friends, it has been an emotional week. God is good all the time, and all the time God is good. I can "sit" and rest in God knowing that He is in control and as long as I am obedient and follow after Him, everything will work out.

    I hope this post at the very least did not confuse you too much. My posts are usually much easier to follow, but that is life. It is not always smooth sailing. Have a wonderful evening friends, and God Bless. I am off to watch a movie with my hubby.

"As I stood under the tree, in its shade, I am reminded of how we are covered by God's mercy and grace." 

After I wrote the rough copy of this post I went for a photo walk to find a picture to go along with it. Before I took this picture, God gave me the above thought. By blessed friends.

God Bless

~Ruth