My New Found Relationship, with Myself.

    Over the last little while, I have been reading and loving Joyce Myer's "Authentically, uniquely you." It has been a wonderful journey. One of the recent things I have been learning is how important my relationship with myself is. In fact, it should be my second most important relationship. The first is my relationship with God.

    One part of this relationship with myself that God has been teaching me is about how I talk to myself. I am very unkind and critical of myself. Until reading this book, I never had much thought about my relationship with myself. But it has been a big season of growth over the last year and apparently, God felt it was time for me to develop this area.

    Anyways, it has been an amazing experience. I have been working on reducing my negative self-talk and working on respecting myself more. Until now, whenever I mess up on something, regardless of its significance I will call myself an idiot. I know that I am not, but that is what silently comes out of my mouth. So now I practice telling myself that yes, I messed up (not likely a big deal), but I'm not an idiot or a failure. Because I know that deep down I am not a failure, but now I have to tell myself what I know to be true. God has also been teaching me about the difference between having confidence in Christ (who I am in Christ), pride, and having a negative self-image and where God wants me to fall on the spectrum. That in and of itself has been a beautiful learning curve. It has been a beautiful journey friends. One that I hope you have either conquered or are well on your way towards.

    Another big thing that God and I have been working on is my respect for myself. This weekend, hubby, myself, and his siblings were supposed to go and see my mother-in-law out of town. Then on Thursday night, we realized that the weather would not only be miserable for our visit but not pleasant for driving either. So we called it off. A minute later I decided that I could join in on the shift at work and do some overtime on Saturday. So then I started planning that and told hubby. As usual, he was in agreement with whatever I felt was best. Then I went to bed and hemmed and hawed over my decision. Which is something I never do. When it comes to work and overtime it's a straightforward yes or no answer. But this time I was troubled. As I mentally tossed and turned, I stopped and asked myself, "Hannah, what do you want to do?" I answered, "File our taxes in the morning and spend the afternoon reading and journaling." I have never stopped and asked myself that before. I did not expect to answer myself too quickly either. It was a beautiful and profound experience, one that I will practice more often. My go-to move is to simply take care of my hubby and Blessing and forget about myself. An unhealthy characteristic that hubby is lovingly helping me to unlearn. Because even wives/dog mommas need to put themselves first from time to time. I went to sleep satisfied on Thursday night. Then Friday morning, after reading my Bible, I was back on track with whether or not I should work on Saturday. I was basically trying to convince myself to sign up for overtime. I started praying over it. Then Holy Spirit said, 'it's always a yes or no answer. You never struggle this much about working overtime." I responded with, 'You are right. I do not want to go to work." I finally settled on my answer. I went to work Friday and was relieved when I was finished for the week.

    Now, the plans and activities I wanted to enjoy were not all successful. Nor did the day look or feel like I had imagined. But that's okay because the important ones did get completed. So as I'm winding down and preparing to go to sleep in a few minutes, I am satisfied with my day and so grateful for what God has been teaching me. I am blessed to serve a mighty and powerful God who will never leave me, or forsake me and who is regularly transforming me into a woman after His heart.

    Thank you for sharing your time with me friends, and reading along as I process the greatness of our God.

God Bless

~Hannah

This photo makes me giddy with delight. It reminds me of my love for photography and my growth as a photographer and more importantly, my growth with God.

Love is an action, not a feeling.

    Looking for love in all the wrong places. Love is an action. It is not an emotion or a feeling. It is demonstrated in the way we treat ourselves and those around us, and the things we do to and for others.

    1st Corinthians 13:4-8a. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects always trusts, always hopes, always persevere. Love never fails."

    Love is an action, and God is love.

Tonight I sat down to read a book, "Authentically, unique you" by Joyce Myers. At the end of the second chapter, Myers mentions that in the index at the back of the book, there is a list of scripture verses to remind me of God's love for me. One of the elements that I struggle with in my relationship with God is knowing, believing, and feeling God's love for me. So when I read that Myers had written a cheat sheet for me I quickly grabbed my Bible and headed to the index in search of affirmation of my Savior's love for me. My Bible does have a similar index in it but none of the verses have spoken to me and given me the encouragement that I needed. Meaning that I was not ready for this lesson until now. The beauty of God's timing. The first few references weren't doing anything for me. So I prayed and asked God to show me a verse that would touch me and speak to me the way I needed to hear it. I kept going down the list and landed on Psalm 23. I started reading. Up to this point, I was looking for a verse that said, "Hannah, I love you." - God. (Yes, I know there isn't a verse that directly says that). But that is not how Psalm 23 starts. "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures..." V. 1-2.

    This chapter is one of the many chunks of scripture that my mom had my siblings and I memorize as children so it is still familiar to me today. As I am reading I'm thinking "there are no 'I love you' statements in this chapter". Then Holy Spirit reminded me that love is an action and not an emotion. It was a beautiful aha moment. I love Holy Spirit-inspired aha moments. There are "aha moments" and then there are Spirit-led ones. This led me to another familiar passage. 1st Corinthians 13:4-8a. Which describes what love should look like and how to demonstrate it to those around me.

    In today's world, we long to hear the words "I love you" from the people we care for. It makes us feel warm and happy to hear those words. But Holy Spirit reminded me today that love is not a feeling but an action. God shows me His love for me when He provides for my needs when He showered me with unexpected blessings and much more. And of course the ultimate act of sending Jesus to die on the cross for my sins. Yes, I have known John 3:16 for most of my life, but like many other honest believers, I have taken that verse for granted many times over the years. This is probably why God created His Word to be living and active so we can relearn all the important lessons He has for us.

    As I wrote out/ read 1st Corinthians 13:4-8a it came alive to me all over again in the beautiful way that only God's Word can do. It's the beautiful difference between The Bible and every other book in the world. Yes, books can encourage you and teach you new things, but only The Bible through The Holy Spirit can transform your life.

    I was also convicted by how badly I fall short of God's standard for love and that I need to practice some of the characteristics that are listed in this passage. Thankfully God's mercies are new every morning and I can continue to grow in these areas.

    Tonight He also reminded me that not only does He love me but that He is a jealous God and desires to spend time with me. He reminded me of how I am jealous of my hubby's time and energy and that He is jealous of my time and energy in a good way. Yes, I am a human leach, something I am working on as well. Anyways, it was yet another beautiful reminder that God loves me and desires to have an intimate relationship with me. A truth I have known for years but needed a reminder of.

    "Truly believing that God loves you unconditionally is the foundation for a relationship with Him, with yourself, and with others." Myers, J. 2021 Authentically, uniquely you. Hachette Book Group. Inc.

We need to accept God's love for us before we can do anything else. Because without God's love, we have nothing and will simply sound like a gong or a clanging cymbal. 1st Corinthians 13:1.

    I'm only two chapters into this book from Joyce Myers and I'm already sold. God used it to teach me this lesson about His love for me. I am so excited to continue reading it with my journal and Bible by my side. It is currently a library book but I will likely buy it and add it to my library and read it again as the years go by and be able to lend it out to those who need to read it as well.

I pray this blesses and encourages you along your walk with God, and friends.

God Bless

~Hannah

Sunrise of Ramsey Lake. From our recent trip up north.

Confidence

    Confidence. It's a funny, touchy subject. Kind of like weighing/balancing scale. You want to have the right amount of confidence. Too much and you will be an argent and prideful person who no one wants to be around. On the other hand you want enough confidence so that you can do stuff and are not terrified to try something new or hard.

    The other day my supervisor paid me a compliment on my performance that day on a job that I am still new to. Therefore I have not yet fully developed the skills needed for it. Needless to say, I was feeling pretty good about myself, and her compliment also build up my confidence a bit more in that area. I have been in that newer area for a few days, and no one had given me constructive criticism, so I figured I was not terrible at the new role. So my supervisor's compliment gave my slowly growing confidence an ego boost. I looked at a coworker who shares a workstation with me and said, "It's funny how I can have confidence in my professional life. I know I am a good hard worker and good employee, and yet I have little to no confidence in other areas of my life." I then spent the next few days thinking about this "confidence issue."

    I realized that I have confidence in my professional life. Like I said a minute ago, I know I am a good worker. It is simply a fact. I show up, I do my job well, and I get along with my coworkers. But then comes my personal life. A whole other ball game. I think it boils down to emotions, and as much as I do not want to give him credit or any room in my life, the enemy likes to attack me in the area of my emotions. Thankfully as my loving hubby reminded me today that emotions lie to us and try to deceive us. This does not mean we should just ignore our feelings and emotions.  It simply means that they are not the be-all and end-all.

    You see, there is little to no emotion in my professional life. I go to work and complete a task and then go home. Yes, some days are frustrating and annoying, and there are also days when management makes decisions that make my head spin, but those feelings do not take away from my confidence in my ability to complete my job. I do not feel prideful or arrogant about it either. It is simply a fact. If you add up all the elements that make a good employee/worker the equation equals me and many other people around the world as well.

    So why is it that I can have confidence in my professional life and yet feel like I am being prideful if I say I am confident in my personal life? I am also going to be bold and assume that I am not the only one out there with confidence in one area of your life and lack in another. I would be interested to know if someone out there has confidence in their personal life but lacks it in their professional life and why. 

    If I were to simply take away emotion in my personal life and look at my life from a black-and-white factual approach. Quite frankly, this is how I prefer to approach all of my life. I am not a fan of emotions because they are messy, and I do not like a mess. Thankfully my counselor helped me in learning how to process emotions better and process them properly. Now, remember to put those lessons into practice.

    Anyways, I am a clean and tidy person, a good housewife. The majority of the time our apartment is clean and in order. No, it is not spotless at all times because it is a home and now an exhibit in a museum.

    I am a good cook. Not an amazing one, but a strong work in progress. No one has ever gotten sick from my cooking. Okay, that's a lie. I do sometimes. That is because my IBS is a pain in the butt and sometimes get mad about what I make for dinner. It thinks it gets a vote on what hubby and I  want for dinner. 🙄 (Sarcasm intended. My IBS does get a vote in our regular menu planning. I am not a big fan of suffering through my food).

    I am a good photographer. I can look back on the pictures I have taken over the years and see the quality difference in my work.

    So, friend, I think the takeaway in all this for myself and whoever blesses me by reading my posts is to check our emotions and see if the enemy is trying to use them against us and lie to us. Like my hubby said, emotions are not bad in and of themselves. The Bible tells us that Jesus had emotions. He had moments of anger, joy, sorrow, stress, etc. The difference is that He did not let them control Him, and neither should we.

    Above all else though, the most important personal/ability/thing that we need to have confidence in is Christ Jesus. Our Lord and Savior. No, I am not saying that He is a thing or an ability. He is a person. But for the sake of argument, I am comparing Him to our ability to complete a task. My point is that we need to have more confidence in Christ than we do in our ability to complete a task, whether that be in the workplace or in our homes. I know that I struggle with listening to the world's opinion/the enemy's opinion of me instead is focusing on God's opinion of me. Another thing I need to work on.

    I pray friends that this post blesses you and encourages you as you walk with Christ. I love writing and my blog and am blessed to know others enjoy it as well.

God Bless

~Hannah

Growing my confidence in photo editing.

God's Little, Yet Big Blessings.

    God knows just what we need when we need it. Last week at work, I had a long day doing a difficult task. Which left my arms very sore the next morning. So sore that I was not sure how I was going to do my job. I figured worse case, I would be slow. Anyways, once I arrived at work a coworker offered to switch jobs for the first hour of our day when our tasks were next to each other. Allowing my arm to rest for a bit before heading to my next task. Very sweet of her. I accepted the offer and we started our day. 

    An hour later it was time to head to my main job for the day. As I arrived at my station my supervisor informed me that I would be training two new coworkers on the sanding job I do. Just what the doctor ordered. A day of rest for my arms, all while being productive. I started to explain to my new coworkers the process for sanding the part I spent much of my time on. I said a silent prayer of thanksgiving for this blessing. I thought about how God cares for me. He created the universe and all that is in it, and yet He still cares for me and all the little details of my day and my life. I am blessed. "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" Matt 6:26. Not the verse I was thinking about originally, but it works. God cares for the flowers and birds, so how much more will He care for you and me? So much more. Not only does He care for me, but He knows me by name.

    Some might call that day a coincidence or good luck. I call it a blessed life, the beautiful result of believing in and having a personal relationship with The God who created the heavens and the earth.

    So the next time you wonder if God really cares or sees you. Just know He does care, and, He is always with you.

God Bless Friends

~Hannah

Nero as a puppy. My sister's dog.

Taking Control of My Thoughts

    God has been reminding me about the importance of taking control of my thoughts and not letting my thoughts control me. It can be too easy to let one little frustration ruin your mood or even your whole day. I can easily spend hrs complaining about someone in the privacy of my imagination, but I do not want that anymore. I do not want to let the negativity of the world around me control my thoughts or my mood, or anything else.

    Over the last few weeks, God has been encouraging me to listen to more worship music and take my mind off my negative thoughts, and redirect them to Him and His glory.

    Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." God does not want us to be consumed by the world. He wants us to "be transformed by the renewing of our minds." Romans 12:2 (not the full verse).

    One day I was frustrated by something and after allowing myself to stew over it for a little while, because there is nothing wrong with being upset. God has given us feelings for a reason. We just cannot use those feelings as our defense to hurt others or ourselves. We need to focus more on Jesus and less on our emotions or circumstances which are causing these emotions. Because the more we focus on Jesus, the better our life will be.

    So, after I have stewed in my frustration for a little while I ask myself why I am upset and start to break down the problem. Did someone offend me and I need to talk to them? Did someone cut me off on the road and "made me late" for something? Or did I simply take someone's words the wrong way and allow myself to be hurt and offended when they never intended to hurt me in the first place? Then I pray and ask God to help me in whatever action plan I need to take.

    We are in control of our thoughts, but like the muscles in our body, if we want to strengthen them, then we need to exercise that muscle, and in this case, we need to spend time with God. Whether that be reading our Bible, praying, listening to worship music, sermons, or whatever way you connect to God. Because when we connect with God, it changes everything.

    I enjoy a few podcasts, and in one episode recently they talked about when you read your Bible, do not look for how the story applies to your life. Look for God instead. Yes, look for personal application afterward, but first, look for God and what He is doing in the story. I think it is a beautiful way to approach The Scriptures. So often we read and wonder what we can get out of it when it is not about us, it is about God. Another application for this Bible study approach is to look around the world and at your own life and look for God there. Where do you see the hand of God working in your community, workplace, school, and your own family? I guarantee if we stop looking for ourselves and what we can get out of God we will see a whole new side of God we never expected to see and grow that much closer to Him in the process. Because that is what it is all about. God put us on this earth to glorify Him, and last I checked, letting our emotions get the better of us, does not glorify Him.

    I have been amazed and blessed by how simply putting in my ear bud at work or while taking Blessing for a walk, and listening to some worship music for a few minutes can change my entire mood.

    The local Christian radio station here has been encouraging their listeners to partake in their "30-day challenge" where you listen to only Christian music for 30 days and see how you feel at the end of the challenge. They encourage you to keep a journal of how you are feeling as you work through the challenge and then tell them about it. I have been unofficially following their challenge (did not sign up on their website nor am I counting off 30 days) and as you can see from this post it has been changing my life and the lives around me.

    So, friends, I hope the new year finds you healthy and excited about what God has in store for you this year. I am looking forward to completing a handful of goals that God has reignited a fire in my heart for and I am excited to see them come to fruition. I know it has been a couple of crazy years with Covid and all, but praise God we are past it now. I was reminded just before the holidays that everyone in my family was healthy, last year several of us contracted Covid and spent the holidays in Quarantine.

    If you are not a big new years resolution kind of person, that's okay, but maybe consider a small resolution like taking control of your thoughts. It's a small action, with big results.

God Bless

~Hannah

Like this picture, with God, our future is bright and beautiful.

The 80/20 Life

    I am a perfectionist. I desire everything in my life to be perfect. I want my home to be clean, have laundry up to date, only eat healthy home-cooked food, exercise daily, etc. I want to dress up and have my hair and makeup done at all times. I want perfection.

    One problem, I'm human with a sinful nature and therefore cannot be perfect. No one can. Thanks, Adam and Eve.

    I was recently reminded that it is okay to not be perfect. Only God is perfect, but He does not expect me to be perfect. So neither should I. Easier said than done. While I pondered this and other thoughts, God reminded me of the 80/20 rule. A concept I heard of years ago. In that particular situation, the topic was food and dietary choices. A classmate of mine wanted to be a vegetarian, but her boyfriend's family liked steak and other red meat. She was not sure how to handle the situation. She asked her doctor, and they suggested that when she cooked for herself or was at a restaurant and could order for herself that she should practice being a vegetarian. Then when she was at her boyfriend's house or a guest somewhere else and did not want to impose, to eat the meat that was being served. I thought it made great sense and have tried to implement it in different areas of my life over the years. Mainly in the category of food as well.

    Since then, I have realized you can apply this rule to any area of your life. Simply means that applying the 80/20 rule allows me to give myself grace and not expect perfection out of myself all day, every day. Someone once said in a youtube video that they too aim for 80%. For them, it was 80% of the time their home was 80% clean. I figured it was a respectable goal for them, they had a full-size house and children. Meaning that their home will never be fully cleaned or at least not likely. If you are someone who does have a full-size home with small children and manages to keep your home clean at all times, I top my hat to you. When I compared myself to this person. I know, the comparison road is never a good road to drive down. Anyways, I compared this YouTuber's life to mine and thought, 'If she can keep her home 80% clean 80% of the time, then there is no excuse for our two-person, and dog apartment clean 100% of the time. Thankfully just because she can keep a bigger, busier space clean does not mean I have to keep my smaller, quieter space cleaner than hers. Because it truly is not about competition. Despite what social media tells us. Plus, in reality, perfection is not real. It is simply a fantasy that we like to dream about. Because in the real world, there are days when the dishes do not get done, and like today, there will be days when I am not wearing a pretty dress. I have spent the last few days in skirts and dresses for family Christmas functions, and now I am lounging on my couch in sweatpants and a sweater, and tomorrow I will be back in a dress for another family gathering. That being said, I do love dressing up and wearing makeup. But this morning, after hubby and I drove one of our guests home, I decided that there was no shame in putting on sweatpants and a sweater and simply relaxing for a while. Because like the perfect "little black dress" sweatpants have their place too.

    Because we all know the truth, our "high light real" on Instagram and Facebook is not real or at least not an everyday event.

    Implementing the 80/20 rule into my life will not only help me to give myself the grace I mentioned earlier but also, give myself a goal that is still reachable but still nice and high, making it all the more satisfying when I reach it. 

    During this whole brainstorming session, I was listening to a podcast and was taught/reminded that whatever standards we hold ourselves to, we also expect everyone around us to too. A reality I knew but needed a reminder of. The host of the podcast was reminding the listeners that it is important to give ourselves grace so that we can extend that grace to those around us as well. She gave an example of a college roommate she had and how the roommate did not feel relaxed/comfortable around her, or at least not as relaxed as she would like to be because of her high standards. Because the roommate was afraid that she would impose her standards on her as well and the roommate knew she would not measure up. The host finished the story by saying that she and the roommate had a good talk and it was a point of growth for both of them. The whole story reminded me of a lesson God taught me about a year ago, even though I have high standards and do not need to be ashamed of them, I cannot impose them on others. Funny how God brings things back to mind. Another viewpoint of high personal standards is that those of us who have high standards, are likely uptight. This is okay, but I have lovelily been reminded, by people who mean a lot to me and have reminded me that it is not fun to be around uptight people and that it is okay to relax and have fun. That does not mean we have to change for those around us, but simply a gentle reminder that it is okay to relax, unwind and let our hair down now and then.

    So the next day I was pondering how all these new thoughts and ideas would look in my life and how things would change. Being the type A personality I am, I did the math. No, I do not like math, but I do like a well-organized plan. If seven days, a full week equals 100% then what is 80%? Roughly six days. Not perfect math, but it sure does paint a picture. The picture of creation. God reminded me of what He instructed us in Genesis, that we are to work six days a week and, on the seventh day, we rest from our work. A beautiful reminder that God does not expect perfection from us. Not only does He allows us to rest but intentionally designed a day for us to rest and give ourselves grace. Coincidence? Maybe, but last I checked God does not operate in coincidences. He operates in miracles and blessings and I think it's time we started counting the blessing of not needing to be perfect.

    Now I'm not saying that I will give myself a free pass and not do dishes on Sundays or any other day. But  I do love the parallel between the grace that not only God gives me but wants me to give myself. We serve an incredible and good God who thinks of every little detail long before I do and has an answer ready for me when the time is right.

    So, as the new year approaches, I am looking forward to implementing this new 80/20% rule and giving myself grace for the days that the laundry hamper is overflowing or it's a take-out night instead of a healthy stir fry. Because let's face it, perfection is exhausting, and beating myself up mentally for not being perfect is just as unhealthy as a Big Mac from Mcdonald's.

 In closing friends, work hard and honor God and enjoy your God-given grace and rest. 

Perfection is not real, but God is.

God Bless

~Hannah

A beautiful reminder that perfection is not real. If it was, Blessing would be looking at the camera, but like her mama, she isn't perfect either. But we love her anyways.

Lest We Forget

     Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

    Over the last few weeks, I have been thinking about Remembrance Day and all it means to us. One of my biggest thoughts has been how brave our men and woman are who serve. They willingly go into dangerous war zones where they will come into contact with the "enemy" and line of fire and the possibility of being shot and killed. To me, that sounds terrifying. So to me, it takes a special breed of people who are willing to serve our country in battle knowing that they may not come home.

    I was listening to a podcast the other day and they mentioned Joshua 1:9 and I thought this verse perfectly describes our men and woman in uniform. They are also being godly examples of who and what God has called us to be and do as believers. I know not all believers are called to be soldiers and for which I am grateful. Nonetheless, we are called to be strong and courageous in our own lives.

    I saw a post on Facebook on Remembrance day from one vet to another reminding their fellow military friends that Remembrance Day can be hard for them and reminded them that it could be a trigger for them. It was a thought I hadn't given any thought to before, but very true. Remembrance Day is the one day of the year that as a country we stop and think of and hopefully thank a soldier for their sacrifice. It never occurred to me that it would also be a PTSD trigger.

    I've always thought of Remembrance Day as a day of celebrating our vets and the freedom that they gave us and everyone they have fought on behalf of. Now I want to take my newfound knowledge about how Remembrance Day can/does affect them I want to be more conscious about Remembrance Day. No, I have no idea what that will look like. I consider myself very respectful of that day and the days leading up to Remembrance Day, but it has given me something to think about.

    Remembrance Day means different things to different people. Some are mourning a loved one who died in combat. For others, it is simply thinking of and thanking those who have served and those who are currently serving.

    For myself and countless others who have siblings, parents, aunts, uncles, etc serving presently or in the past it is that much more significant and close to home. For me, it became more real when my brother joined the military. My grandfather served in WWII and then passed away when I was 14. But it did not hit home then like it does now. Maybe because everyone's grandparents served or because  I was young and did not fully understand what it was all about. It was head knowledge but not heart knowledge. These days it is much closer because I have a brother and sister-in-law who serve. I'm not here to put either of them on a pedestal or anything else today. Although I am very proud of them. I'm simply saying that I am that much more grateful and have a greater understanding of what it is like to serve than I did as a child. Which I suspect is the case for many of us. We learn as we grow.

My point in all this is to say thank you to our brave men and women to serve our country. Lest We Forget.

Not a poppy, but its red and pretty. Taken in my parent's backyard.