2023 - A Year of Recovery

    I left 2022 with all kinds of ideas of what 2023 would look like. And all those hopes and dreams crashed and burned mid-January when I received a bill from the government saying they wanted their money back from COVID.

    I had set aside money for figure skating lessons and was hoping to start them in February/March 2023. So I put that money toward that bill and let income tax finish the rest. The rest of the year was simply dealing with one curve ball after the next, as life often goes. I quickly forgot all about the goals I had, and that's okay.

    We accomplished other goals instead. We both went to therapy and got the help that we needed. God confirmed my gift of writing, and I have loved sharing my blog with you. We figured out what was causing Blessing's excitement peeing problem and now have the answer. I left my part-time job at a banquet hall and started doing dishes at a local restaurant instead. Looking back, we accomplished a whole lot more than I thought we had.

    When I was thinking about my goals for this year, I thought, "Why bother? I didn't accomplish them this year, what makes next year any different?" Which is true. I didn't accomplish what I wanted but, I did get other things done which were equally important.

    I still consider it a year of recovery from COVID-19 and hopefully,  this next year will be even better with new dreams and fewer curve balls.

    I have heard from a handful of friends that 2023 was not a great year. To those of you who had some struggles, whether 2, 20 or even 200. I'm sorry to hear that. I pray that 2024 brings less heartache and more blessings.

    I have been thinking about what my goals for this year will be. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I didn't spend a whole lot of time praying over them. Or at least not as much time as I had expected to. When I realized that the goals I had last year were probably still not attainable, which is fine. I asked the Holy Spirit to show me what my goals would be for this next year. He didn't speak directly to my heart like He often does, but I believe He reminded me of other goals and dreams that were birthed just this past year. Goals and dreams that on a surface level are probably more "relaxed" than last year, but still equally "impressive."

    I'm a little sad that the dreams I had last year may never come true. But I also need to remember that I'm not the woman I was last year or the girl I was years ago, and that's a good thing. I have changed, and so have my hopes and dreams. And who knows, maybe that one dream will come true one day, but for now it's okay that it hasn't.

    If you did accomplish all your goals this past year friend. Congratulations! Well done. I hope that this year is even more successful. If you are like me and didn't accomplish your goals or not the goals you had set out to accomplish. I'm sorry friend, I hope and pray that this year goes better for you.

Have a blessed afternoon friend.

God Bless

~Hannah

New year means new journal and new pen.

Enjoy the Journey

    I tend to rush through life. Everything is a checklist waiting to be done. Which works to some degree, but not always. To a type A personality who is also a perfectionist, it looks great on paper. One problem though, on paper and reality are two different things.

    Yesterday, I was rolling up Pillsbury Crescents and putting them into the oven to take with us over to Christmas Eve dinner at my in-law's house. As I was trying to quickly roll the crescents, it occurred to me that I didn't need to go a mile a minute. I wasn't in a rush. I could enjoy the journey. I could enjoy the process. I have fond memories of making the crescents for both Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas dinner as a child, so by taking my time I was able to think back to those memories and enjoy the season. Instead of just rushing through another now grow up chore. I got the first pan in the oven and went to tell hubby what I was thinking. He agreed that I could and should take more time to enjoy life and whatever task I am currently working on.

    Then this morning, after hubby, Blessing, and I enjoyed our family Christmas, I started doing some tidying up. As I began I thought about taking these chores at a slower pace and not running around our apartment like a mad woman. So I slowly paced back and forth through our home putting things back in their place.

    As I folded and put away laundry I was able to take the time and think about what a blessing it is to put away laundry. It's a blessing because it means that I have access to a washing machine and that I have clothing to wash. Not everyone has one or both of these things.

    Walking Blessing is also an item that I look at as a chore to be checked off a list. I love my dog and exercise, but recently walking Blessing has become a checklist item and no longer a fun activity for me. It's one of her favourite activities, but I have not been enjoying it the way I would like to as of late.

    Housework in general is a big ticked item for me. I love my family and taking care of them. I love a clean home and don't mind housework. But how much more would I enjoy it if I slowed down while doing it? It may not become as fun as watching a funny movie, but it does have the potential to be better than it currently is.

    Now, I know that there are lots of activities that require a faster pace, like running or driving down the 401. But lots of things don't require a fast pace.

    I struggle with the idea that every minute of my day needs to be accounted for and productive, and if it's not productive then it's a waste of time, or I am wasting time. Which makes life one long checklist. But that's not what God wants for us. Yes, we are to work both inside and outside our homes. But He also wants us to enjoy life as well. If He didn't he wouldn't have given us hobbies. 😉

    We live in a society that encourages, and let's be honest, glorifies hustle/ fast pace and being busy. Every job ad talks about a fast-paced environment. In some places it is necessary, but not all. And I'm guessing most of our personal life/home life doesn't have to be rushed either. Heck, one of the reasons why I love photography is because it forces you to slow down. To get that perfect shot, especially for beginners using manual mode, you have to go slow. You have to focus on your object and not on your surroundings. Two things that society does not support.

    I suspect that I could also slow down in my kitchen while making dinner and end up enjoying that process a whole lot more. Basically, I need to slow down in all areas of my personal/home life and enjoy the journey.

    So where in your life can you start slowing down and enjoying the journey friend?

    I hope you had a wonderful Christmas yesterday, whatever that looks like for you. We are enjoying a quiet Boxing Day today before I head back to work tomorrow for a couple of days before New Years weekend.

God Bless

~Hannah

Enjoy the Journey

    

Stand Tall When Satan Attacks.

    For a long time, I have struggled to connect emotionally with my husband. As you can imagine, it has caused us plenty of grief over the years.

    Today at work, I was thinking about our situation and trying to figure out the answer. At work, I can be myself with my workers and enjoy the day. But as soon as I arrive home, I turn into a robot and am unable to enjoy any sort of relationship/emotional connection with my hubby. A situation that is understandably upsetting to my hubby. He wants an amazing marriage, as do I, but I struggle to do my part.

    At break today, I was journaling on my phone, trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I can be vulnerable with my coworkers, but not with my hubby, who has never given me any reason not to be vulnerable with him. I returned to the sanding booth after the break and continued thinking about it.

    I started praying. The Holy Spirit quickly responded and said, "Satan is attacking you." Instantly, I threw my hands in the air and said, "Of course!" I quickly prayed and rebuked the enemy and told him where he could go.

    It all makes sense. Satan doesn't want my marriage or any other marriage out there to succeed, so he attacks them. But he doesn't care about our relationships with our coworkers, or at least nowhere near as much as he cares about our relationships with our spouses and other family members.

    John 10:10 NIV, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

    A believing coworker walked into the sanding booth a few minutes later, and I got to share my answered prayer with her and enjoy fellowship for a few minutes.

    I continued with my work day relieved, thankful and praising God for this revelation and excited to tell my hubby after work. He picked me up, and I told him about my day and what I had been praying about. I hold him that I learned that Satan had been attacking me, but now I'm aware of it, and my defenses are up.

    The part that I find "funny" about all this is just how simple it was. It never dawned on me that the enemy was attacking. I just thought I suck at being vulnerable and emotional at home, which is true, and it is something I need to work on. But it never occurred to me that I may be getting attacked.

    It has been five days since the Holy Spirit told me that Satan was attacking me and damaging my relationship with my hubby. Since then our home has been filled with peace and harmony. The last three days hubby has had a cold, and I was even able to care for him. Caring for him when he is sick is one of my least favourite things to do in life. It's not a skill set that I have ever been good at. The fact that I just spent two days nursing him (the third day I had to return to work) with a good attitude speaks volumes. Not of myself though, of God. God is in the business of healing and restoring broken things and that is exactly what He has been doing.

    I share this friend in the hopes that it will encourage you. I don't write and share to show off my spirituality or anything else. If anything, my blog is a written account of all my shortcomings. I write because I love to and to remind both of us that we are all broken and in need of a Savior, who is Jesus Christ.

    I also share this because it never occurred to me that Satan was attacking me or my home. I do believe that he tries to attack and trip us up regularly. The answer was obvious and right in front of me the whole time, and yet I didn't see it. Of which I still can't believe. I guess that is where God's grace comes into play.

The moral of the story is always be on guard.

I pray that there is as much peace in your home tonight as there is in mine.

Merry Christmas friend.

God Bless

~Hannah

We are to stand tall against the devil's schemes.

Discovering New Skirts

    For as long as I can remember, I have preferred skirts that are a few inches above my knee in length or ones that go all the way to the floor. I'm not a fan of shirts that fall halfway down your shin, called midi skirts. There is one particular pattern of midi length skirt called a prairie skirt that I do not like. Turns out I judged all midi-length skirts the same when I decided that I did not like the prairie style.

    I was on Pinterest the other day and found a really cute outfit. Navy midi length skirt with a leather belt, matching flats and purse. The top was a white t-shirt with navy stripes. Even though the skirt was the "wrong" length and not pink, I thought it was a very cute casual outfit. I headed down the rabbit hole on Pinterest looking for other outfits. I found a handful. Midi-length skirt with a relaxed shape. Cute little runners and a matching t-shirt with a twisted knot at the front. Cute casual outfits that still involve a skirt. It made me realize that it's time to get out of my comfort zone with skirts and see if I can create this outfit. I expect to be heading to the second-hand store in the spring. Later I was watching a TV show, and one of the characters had this exact outfit on, and it affirmed that it could be a cute outfit.

    I am naturally a very uptight and intense person. I'm working on being less uptight and intense. I'm starting to wonder if my "preferred length" of above the knee is an "uptight" length and if a midi length skirt would help me to be more relaxed. I'm well aware that a skirt or any other item of clothing doesn't have power like that. But I wonder if it could help. I won't be getting rid of my shorter skirts, simply adding a few longer skirts and adding more variation to my wardrobe.

    After I saw the first outfit on Pinterest I showed my hubby and told him how I felt and that I was surprised by my attraction to the outfit. He encouraged me and told me that this was a step towards getting out of my comfort zone and was happy for me. We further discussed what he thought of the skirt. It's not his preferred length, but he is happy for me.

    I have been struggling to get out of my comfort zone for a little while now. I thought that getting out of my comfort zone meant one thing and one thing only. I thought it meant taking on a new role at my second job and doing a job that I expected would bring on a lot of stress and anxiety for me. I'm still struggling with that decision, to be honest. Hubby has been teaching me that getting out of my comfort zone means trying new things. It's not just about trying things that will cause stress and anxiety.

    So friend, have you been pleasantly surprised to find new things that you now like that you did not expect to like?

    I hope you enjoyed this shorter, lighter and funnier topic today. As you know, usually my posts are about things that God is teaching me. I decided it would be fun to write about this discovery and share it with you. As I'm finishing it up, it reminds me of a segment that the "She Reads Truth" used to do. Called, "Beauty, Goodness and Truth." The hosts asked the guests and themselves where in their lives they were seeing beauty, goodness and or truth that was pointing them back to Jesus. I think this new skirt discovery qualifies as my "Beauty, Goodness and Truth" for the day. What is your "Beauty, Goodness or Truth" friend?

God Bless

~Hannah

Be Content, and Don't Compare Yourself to Others.

    Earlier this week, the Holy Spirit called me out on my inability to be content. He brought to mind Philippians 4:11-12, "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Paul learned to be content in all circumstances. I struggle with being content. Currently, I am struggling with my job and my wardrobe. I am constantly looking to replace my part-time job with a funner job, a "better" job, etc. My most recent application was to a fabric store in Chatham. With my rekindled relationship with my sewing machine, I figure it will be a fun job. I would learn more about sewing while selling fabric. It would be much more fun than washing dishes at the restaurant I am currently at.

    When it comes to clothing, I'm always thinking about another garment that I would like/need. Am I in dire need of this new garment that is on my mind? No. I also don't spend hrs thinking about and fantasizing/idolizing about the garment in question. I'm simply thinking about another item that I would like to have.

    I told hubby about what God had been teaching me. We discussed it for a few minutes. One of the things hubby said was not to worry about taking things out of my life. I should simply follow after God and spend more time with Him. I spent the next day thinking about that. He reminded me that the more you seek after Jesus and spend more time with the Holy Spirit, the less you want the things of the world. How right he is. He shared how he is getting closer to God and how the things of this world that he loves, like video games, no longer matter as much. Again, thrilled for him. Watching my hubby grow in his faith is a beautiful gift from God. His relationship with God has nothing to do with me of course, but I am privileged to have a front-row seat to watching him grow and that is pretty special.

    The next day, I was thinking about the things in my life that I could continue to get rid of to spend more time with Jesus. Good things. Like learning Sign Language and other such things. I was unknowingly trying to make my relationship with God look like my husband's relationship with God.

    Then I was visiting with a new coworker who is also a believer. We don't work together often, but when we do, the Holy Spirit blesses us both, and I love it. She shared how God is helping her and her hubby to make sure that they both have their relationship with God and of course one with God as a couple. Their recent default relationship with God has been their joined relationship and needed to cultivate their relationships as well.

    After our visit, I was thinking about what hubby and I talked about and making our relationships with God look the same. The Holy Spirit reminded me of a book called, "Jesus + Nothing= Everything." Hubby and I read it in Bible College in a class about spiritual formation. My biggest takeaway from that class and the book was that I wasn't allowed to want things on earth. At the time I was saving up for an iPad. The course made me feel very guilty for wanting an iPad. So much so that I contemplated not buying one. I did in the end.

    Anyway, the Holy Spirit brought that memory to mind to encourage and remind me that my relationship with God doesn't have to look like my husband's relationship with God and that He calls us and leads/directs us all in different ways. He may call my husband to give something up but not do the same for me. The Holy Spirit just brought this principle to mind, do not compare yourself to others. Galatians 6:4-5, "Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load." We are called to focus on our own work and not compare ourselves to others. Comparison is certainly a topic that I struggle with and am sure many others do too.

    It has been a big week with lessons on being content and not comparing myself to others. When Holy Spirit first put it on my heart to write about being content I spent a few days thinking about it before I had a chance to sit down and start journaling. Then He gave me the second message about comparing my husband's and my relationships with God and how there is no need. At first when He gave me the second message I wasn't sure how they were going to combine and if it would flow nicely on paper. Guess I should have known that He had it all mapped out and all I had to do was let Him speak through my pen and then through my fingertips on the keyboard.

Be content, and don't compare yourself to others.

Have a blessed evening my friend. Thank you for taking the time to read what God has put on my heart to share.

I pray this post blesses, encourages, teaches and reminds you just how good our God is.

God Bless

~Hannah

My mom patiently waiting to feed the birds from her hand.

Stay In Your Own Lane.

    Earlier this week I had my two-year review at work. It felt a little bit insulting because, in past reviews at other jobs, I would get a lot more "above and beyond" vs "meets expectations" reviews. I was a little upset but knew I was upset at myself and not my boss even though I wanted to blame her. Because that's how human nature works. Blame the other guy, and don't take responsibility.   

    I asked about ways I could improve, and she gave me a few ideas. She also encouraged me and said that this was one of the better reviews. All I could think was, "Oh boy, that speaks volumes about this company." As my hubby would say, "Welcome to factory life." She mentioned that I could be less talkative in certain departments. My first thought was, "Have you seen the others!? Everyone stops and talks to their friends while they are working." (No, not here to throw shade) Then the Holy Spirit reminded me to "Stay in my own lane." To which I responded, "You're right, you're right."

    I spent the rest of the day a little upset because my review revealed my heart to myself, and I didn't like what I saw. Yes, I will admit, I have no intention of working at this factory until I retire. Hubby and I are planning on moving to the St. Catherines/Niagara area in two years for Hubby's next step in his education.

    Now, getting a "satisfactory" review instead of an "above and beyond" review is not a bad thing. It shows me that my work/life balance is improving and becoming more balanced. I used to be married to work and gave all my energy to my employer. Yes, work is important, it puts food on our table and a roof over our heads, but it's not everything, and I will be the first to admit that I treated it like the most important thing in years past. I like to think I have come a long way since then. Not perfect of course, but strong improvement.

    Anyway, for the rest of the week, every time I would see people stop and talk to their coworkers, the Holy Spirit would remind me to "Stay in your lane" and by the end of the week, I was saying it to myself over everything at work that didn't directly affect me. I should be doing it anyway of course, but like everyone else, I need a reminder sometimes.

    1st Thessalonians 4:11-12, "Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody."

    Friend, as much as the world around us encourages us to compare ourselves to everyone else via social media and other such things, it's important to remember who you are and who's you are. As believers, we are called to be set apart from the world and to demonstrate Christ's love to those around us. We are called to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. We are to seek after Christ and His righteousness. Romans 12:2, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will."

    We are not here to seek the approval of man but of God. Meaning that your review at work does not matter in eternity. Yes, we are to work hard unto God. I would much rather hear, "Well done good and faithful servant," from God when I get to Heaven rather than "Thank you for your hard work. You have gone above and beyond." from my employer.

    I pray this post finds you well on this cold and snowy November evening. I pray this post blesses and encourages you this evening friend.

God Bless

~Hannah

Pray Without Ceasing

    One of the many Bible verses I was taught to memorize as a child was 1st Thessalonians 5:17, "Pray without ceasing." Means never stop praying. For roughly a year now, I have been using the sanding booth at work as my "prayer closet," and 90% of my prayers are prayed in there. I listen to a variety of podcasts and pray while I sand away defects on roof rack parts.

    So when I was taken out of the booth and sent to the buffing department I wasn't a very happy camper. Not only am I not a huge fan of buffing but for safety reasons you cannot have your earbud in for podcasts, music or whatever else one might listen to. Needless to say, I was feeling a little out of place. I was taken out simply because we wanted to train more people on how to sand the part that I sand.

    Now, because of what I learned as a child and now as an adult about the Christian faith, I know that God is always with me and that I can pray anywhere I like. And for that I a grateful. But I still have to remind myself of that truth. One morning, I was praying while I loaded the dishwasher before work. I prayed and told God that I know He hears me everywhere I go and is always with me. Yet it still felt awkward praying outside of my prayer closet at work. Later that day at work, the Holy Spirit told me that I was treating the sanding booth as a temple from biblical times. I was getting religious about it and reminded me that I can pray everywhere I go. As usual, when the Holy Spirit told me I was treating it like a temple I responded with, "Shots fired." I hadn't realized that I had become religious about it. Which is the last thing I ever desire to be.

    Now, I know I can pray in my heart in the buffing department. But because I am "on display" at my buffing table versus the sanding booth with four walls, I feel awkward praying at the buffing table. Which of course is the enemy attacking and trying to discourage me from talking to my heavenly Father in public.

    It's at these times when I am struggling with the location of where I pray. Think that God can hear me better in some places over other places. When I get into this head space I remind myself of all the places I have stood in both publically and privately where God has answered my prayers and spoken to my heart. I find this to be a rather encouraging and helpful practice. Because it reminds my soul and the enemy that My God is always with me and is for me.

    It's funny, this past February, my mother and I were talking about the early church in the Bible and how the people had to go to the temple to pray to God. When Jesus ascended into Heaven after He died and rose again, He sent the Holy Spirit to be our helper and counsellor until Jesus came back for us. It is through the Holy Spirit that we pray to our Heavenly Father and hear His voice in our hearts and all the other wonderful ways He speaks to us. During this conversation, Mom and I were agreeing about how thankful we are to have the Holy Spirit living in us and giving us direct access to our Heavenly Father. And yet, this past week, I forget that location does not take away our access to the Holy Spirit. I also really missed listening to podcasts. They help make the time go by nicely. Buffing is so slow and boring. Sanding is not exactly, but it is a much faster pace and entertainment through an earbud is a bonus.

    The moral of the story though friend, is that God hears us no matter where we are. Yes, we are called to have a private place to pray. Matthew 6:5-8, "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reared in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him."

    My understanding of this passage is that when we pray in public we are not to be loud and seek the attention of others. One of the ways we identify as Christians is by praying in public, but not loudly and obnoxiously. We are also called to pray in our homes behind closed doors and simply pour out our hearts to our heavenly Father who hears us. Also, the length of our prayers doesn't matter to God. God hears and loves our prayers that are five words long or five pages long. Both are beautiful to His heart.

    The other day a friend/loyal reader of my blog and I were discussing it. We agreed that it is a ministry that God has trusted me with, to which I am honoured to "produce" and deliver to you, reader. We also agreed and had a good laugh over the fact that the content of my blog is about me being stupid and the Holy Spirit and at times a combination of the Holy Spirit and my dear hubby correcting me and directing me back to The Cross.

    I have enjoyed writing since I was a little girl. When I was little I wrote fiction about dogs. I fell away from this interest in my teen years mainly because I wasn't sure what to write about. I started blogging a few years ago but again wasn't consistent due to a lack of content. But over the last year and especially the last five months, God has stirred up my passion for writing and has given me lots of content aka my shortcomings 😂 to encourage you, friend. And has affirmed that it is a ministry for me and for that I am blessed.

 I pray this post finds you well this evening and ready for another work week. I pray this blesses you, and encourages you in your walk with Christ, friend.

Have a good night friend.

God Bless

~Hannah

Follow the "narrow" path.