Overthinking

    It's one of my least favourite characteristics that make up who I am. Someone made a critical comment about my appearance a week ago, and I have been thinking about it ever since. They weren't trying to be rude or hurt my feelings. They were just being honest and blunt.

    At first, I didn't let it get to me. But then I talked to hubby about it and started processing it. I spent most of the next week obsessing over it and considering changing part of my personality to "fix this flaw."

    Finally, I looked at hubby last night and asked him if I was overthinking it. Without hesitation, he said yes. It was a relief to hear him say that because it helped me to move on from it.

    Today, I was at it again. I have an upcoming purchase to make and was overthinking how to make it all work. There is a very simple solution to it all, but first, I need to waste a whole lot of time and energy overthinking it.

    At one point, I wanted to make some adjustments to how and what I eat. I wanted to get rid of some of the junk and replace it with healthier food items.

    I spend way too much time overthinking way too many topics and items. And if you add tiredness to the mix, it's a whole other situation where I usually end up having a meltdown and cry. I also spent time overthinking the length of this post and whether or not it was going to be long enough. There is no right length of course. But, that's what happens in my brain when I overthink. I panic and have anxiety over everything.

    I wanted to share this story with you because I think it's funny how I spent so much time overthinking what someone said to me and that I overthink a lot of stuff. I suspect that those of you who overthink as well are sitting on your couch or wherever you are, raising your hands and saying, "Me too!" I hope this gives you a chuckle and puts a smile on your face, friend.

God Bless

~Hannah

I wrote this journal entry before my "My Gut-Wrenching Honest Prayer post. But I didn't get a chance to type it up last week.

My late grandparents cottage.

My Gut-Wrenching Honest Prayer.

     Lord, please forgive me for my bad attitude, pride, lack of self-control, and control issues.

    It has been quite the week. Season really, but also a particularly rough week. I allow my circumstances to dictate my mood so often that it has led me to have a bad attitude.

    Father, I've spent the last week thinking that I can't do anything about all these sin issues that I am struggling with. The enemy convinced me that the only thing in me was my human/sinful nature. And that only You can fix me. Which is true in part. Then You reminded me in this week's devo with hubby that I can be a part of the change and that I have a hand in this. You reminded me that I need to exercise self-control and that it will be a start for working through these issues.

    It's going to be a long road to work through all these issues, but I know You are faithful. You will never leave me nor forsake me.

    You reminded me of my free will the other day through our devotional and that also helped to remind me that I do have some control and can exercise correct control there. Control over my thoughts and actions.

    Thank you, Lord, for dying on the cross for me and my sins. Thank you to my hubby who is faithfully walking beside me as I navigate these issues. Amen.

    From our devotional on April 24th. "When it comes to the subject of self-control, many of us would like to dodge the issue. Maybe we would like to think there is a way to put our minds, will and emotions under God's "remote control." Instead of having to take responsibility for our actions and decisions, we think it would be easier for God to simply control us. However, God has a more creative plan in mind. He designed us with limited free will. This means we have the ability to choose right over wrong and self-control over emotional responses." From the book, The Daily Way. By Michael Youssef, Ph.D. That night's devotional hit me between the eyes.

    The next night's devotional added to the previous night's lesson very nicely. "A person who has an undisciplined spirit or no self-control is like a city without walls. He or she is open to enemy attack at any given moment. When we fail to exercise a spirit of self-control, the wild animals of jealousy, rage, frustration, gossip, false witness, and more can enter our lives easily and unopposed. The lack of self-control is Satan's way of preparing us for destruction."

    My gut-wrenching, honest prayer this morning to the Lord. Hubby and I talked last night and this morning, and he forgave me for my sins this week. But I hadn't asked God to forgive me yet or forgive myself. While doing laundry this morning, I wrote out my prayer in my journal, and God lifted the heavy weight of shame off my shoulders. I'm not off the hook by any means. Now, I have to walk out what I believe and am learning. But with God and my hubby beside me, I can do it.

    I share all this because that's what my blog is all about. I write about my struggles and remind both you and myself that neither of us is alone in our struggles. God is with us. I also believe that more than ever God is calling me to share these particular struggles with you. I expect it to keep me humble and accountable.

    I pray this post encourages you that you are not alone in your struggles and that we all fall short of the glory of God. But we serve The God of mercy and grace and of second chances.

Happy Sunday, friend.

God Bless

~Hannah

Testing mom's blood at my sister Rae's Family and Friends Day at school.

Prayer Life Refresh

    The other day I was scrolling through Instagram and found a video of a stay-at-home wife/mother cleaning/tidying her home. In the voice-over audio, she was talking about her prayer/cleaning routine.

    Instead of viewing housework as simply a chore to be completed. She viewed it as an opportunity to pray over her family. As she picked up her son's socks, she specifically prayed over that child. If she picked up something of her husband's she prayed for their marriage, etc.

    I love the idea and decided to implement it into my life. I'm also adding it to every element of my life and not just tidying my home. While at work I will pray over the car parts that I am priming, sanding or buffing. Praying over the vehicles that those parts will go on and the families that will drive those vehicles. And other areas in my daily life. Like walking Blessing, doing groceries, and everything else in between. I believe what the Bible says about praying continually and I do my best but sometimes, I forget. "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV So it's time to hit the reset button.

    Praying over people, places and things as I go about my day. Because prayer is important it helps us connect to our Father in Heaven, and because it reminds us of His power and majesty.

    God doesn't need us to pray to work in the people and situations that I will be praying over. He doesn't need our help. But He wants to have a relationship with us and show us how prayer changes lives and situations.

    Sometimes our routines can get stale and need a refresh. Whether, that's your morning routine, commute to work, food choices and even your prayer life. I think my prayer life needs a refresh and God in all His wisdom has shown me just what to do.

I pray this blesses and encourages you in your prayer life today, friend.

God Bless

~Hannah

Lake Ramsey, Sudbury, Ontario.

God Provides

    A few weeks ago, hubby did an oil change on our car and with the help of his father and brother discovered that we needed a new tie rod. After work, he picked me up and told me. We scheduled the repair, and I headed to my evening dishwasher job.

    Once at work, I checked the schedule for the following week. I see that I have an additional shift for that week. The girl who works Tuesday and Wednesday now has my Monday shift, and I have her Tuesday and Wednesday shifts. I smile to myself and see God's hand at work.

    After work, I came home and told hubby about my new shifts. And that we can use that money for our upcoming car repair. We had other ideas of how we would pay for the repair, but this method sounded better.

    Hubby is also the first to jump and get extra hours at work when needed.

    So, over the next two weeks, I worked a few extra shifts at the restaurant that in theory would cover the car repair. Hubby picked me up from the restaurant one evening after fixing the car with his dad and told me what our bill would be for the parts to fix our car. We had both separately been expecting a bigger number and were excited to see that it would be half of what we expected. My extra shifts more than covered the bill.

    Last night I saw that the schedule was posted at the restaurant. I saw that I am returning to my normal schedule next week. Monday night.

    Again, I smiled to myself and thought of how God was providing. You see, not only was He providing for us financially, but He was also teaching me a lesson. I keep thinking to myself that I would like more shifts/should be able to handle more shifts. Hubby lovingly reminds me that I do not want more nor can I handle more. But I'm also very stubborn and don't always listen. So God in all His wisdom allowed me to see that I don't want extra shifts, nor can I handle them.

    So, God gave us a two-in-one deal. Gave me extra shifts to cover the bill and taught me that I don't want extra shifts. He is so good. He knows what is best for us and what we need and knows that sometimes we need to experience what it is we think we want for us to learn what God already knows.

    What is God teaching you, friend? I pray this post blesses and encourages you today.

God Bless

~Hannah

My parents and I attended my sisters "Family and Friends Day" at school a few weeks ago. Where they gave us a tour of her lab, took our blood and showed us how they test it. Once she graduates, she will be a Medical Laboratory assistant/technician.

Social Media and Lent.

    Every few years, I observe lent, and on most of those years, I gave up social media. This year, I did it again. I wasn't quite sure what my expectations were this year. Sometimes, when I give up social media, it's to give my relationship with God an extra boost outside of my normal growth. In other years, I gave it up to help with my addiction and to grow closer to God. This year it ended up being more about my addiction. Part of me figured my scrolling habit would naturally translate into time in my Bible app as it has in the past. Although I was much more intentional about opening up my Bible app in past years than I was this year. It didn't this year, but probably because my focus wasn't on getting closer to God but getting further away from my addiction. So, instead of moving my screen time from Social Media to my Bible app, I was on my phone less.

    For the first few days, I used my social media time to clean up my email. Gmail had been complaining that my inbox needed cleaning up. So I worked on that. I thought maybe after I cleaned up my email, I would open up my Bible app more. Once again, I was wrong. And that's okay. Because that was the religion in me talking and not my relationship with God talking. Two different things.

    I did, however, notice that I started reading more novels. I wanted to start reading more books this year but wasn't sure what it would look like. I'm not a fast reader, and I don't have a whole lot of extra time in my current schedule to add more reading. However, since giving up social media, I have lots more time on my hands and noticed myself reading a whole lot more. Heck, I have read five books, and we are only at the end of March. For me, that's impressive. Mind you, my sewing projects have taken a hit because I have spent my weekends with my nose in a book instead of sewing/on my phone. But I'm going to take a few day's break from reading and work on a sewing project. I'm working on finding the balance between all the activities I enjoy.

    But the biggest thing I have noticed is that my addiction and desire to be on Facebook and Instagram has significantly reduced. And this year, I have a plan for how and when I will use social media. Every other time I have given it up for lent to help with my addiction, I never have a plan for after my fast is over. Or at least not a detailed one with proper guidelines that can be measured. This year, I have a plan and a good one at that.

    Because social media is not in and of itself bad. It can be helpful when used properly, and I finally have a plan for how I will use it going forward that will be beneficial. Which, I am excited about.

    At the end of the day, my fast from Social Media produced the exact results I was hoping for. Of which I am grateful for and proud of. I wasn't sure what it would look like in the process, but that does not always matter. Yes, sometimes it is about the journey and not the destination, and at other times, like this last season, it is about the destination.

Happy Easter, friend. He has risen.

God Bless

~Hannah

My Hubby

     I don't spend nearly enough time bragging on my hubby. This week God used my hubby to teach me an important message and now I want to share it with you.

    This past Tuesday, hubby pulled a "Joseph" moment. Meaning that he taught me a valuable lesson without saying a word. I once heard a sermon about Joseph. As in Mary and Joseph and that even though Joseph doesn't say anything that is recorded in scripture, his actions speak volumes. I had never noticed it until Dr. David Barker from Heritage College and Seminary. He gave a message about Joseph and how his actions spoke volumes. In Matthew 1:18-25, we read about Joseph learning about Mary being pregnant with Jesus and his thoughts about how to deal with the situation. Verse 19 tells us that he was a kind, loving, God-fearing, righteous man. He didn't want to cause Mary any undue harm or embarrassment. He thought about quietly divorcing her. The Lord came to Joseph in a dream and told him not to worry about Mary and that everything would be fine and he was to go through with their marriage. Joseph listened to and obeyed The Lord and took Mary as his wife. It was an awesome message that refreshed that passage of scripture and gave me a new perspective on Joseph.

    Okay, back to hubby. On Tuesday this past week, my hubby taught me about his afternoon schedule/routine and how much better it works than mine. (my words, not his) I have known his afternoon routine for a long time but never realized how beneficial it is. Hubby comes home from work, relaxes for a bit, then comes and picks me up, relaxes for a bit more and then works on his homework for his English course. He is upgrading his grade 11 and 12 University high school English classes to attend Brock University for Video game design.

    My routine consists of getting home from work, walking Blessing as soon as possible, followed by making supper, then showering and hopefully having enough energy to enjoy an hour to myself at the end before going to bed. The relaxing part doesn't usually work very well. I'm usually too tired to enjoy that little bit of downtime.

    So, after picking me up from work on Tuesday, hubby wanted to talk about an old hobby he wanted to get back into. We ended up talking in his office for a bit about his hobby. By this point in my day, I'm tired from work and questioning if I have the energy to walk Blessing, which makes me feel like a terrible human being. Before he finished talking, I sat down on the floor of his office (not going to sit on any furniture until after I had changed out of work clothing and showered). After he finished talking, I lay down on the floor. Feeling rather low, both figuratively and literally. I started to doze off. A few minutes later, I woke up and decided to get up and take a bath, instead of walking Blessing next. I then thought about hubby's routine and how relaxing after work for a bit before getting other work done was a good idea. He has never spoken a word about his routine being better than mine or compared them in any way. But as I was walking out of his office, Holy Spirit told me that hubby was having a "Joseph" moment and was teaching/speaking with his actions without knowing it.

    He was teaching me to relax after work for a little while before continuing with home life chores, such as walking Blessing or making supper. So I tried it out. I took a nice hot bath, then typed up my last blog post and set a mental timer for when my relaxation time was over to make supper. Supper that night was just a matter of warming up leftovers. So when supper time came around, I warmed it up, and we ate. Then I relaxed again for a bit afterwards. I then decided what time I would walk Blessing and did so accordingly. By bedtime, everything was taken care of, and I felt satisfied.

    It is now Saturday night, and I have worked on practicing this new routine for the last week. I figured on laundry days and grocery days that I would ignore the shower and relax time after work and just power through those activities to get them done. But once I hit those days I realized that I wanted/needed to shower and relax all the more before doing those chores. I have come to enjoy taking a shower again and feel refreshed again. For a long time, I haven't cared so much about getting a shower. Yes, I bathe every day, but I don't race home to get it done. It's simply an item on a to-do list at the end of the day. Now as I get cleaned up I feel relaxed and refreshed and ready for a little bit of downtime before completing the tasks that every other adult on the planet takes care of after work every day. I'm still working out the kinks to make this new routine a reality (mainly mental hiccups). But Rome wasn't built in a day.

    The moral of the story. Is that my hubby is a brilliant man who continues to teach me and helps lead me back to Jesus when I get sidetracked. Every day, I am thankful that God gave me this man as my husband.

    I pray this post blesses, encourages, and maybe even makes you take inventory of your routines and patterns and see if you should make adjustments too.

    I hope you have a chance to enjoy the beautiful sunny day that God has given us today, friend.

God Bless

~Hannah

Hubby and I at a wedding expo the year before we got married.

Modesty

    I recently noticed that on my Pinterest feed, the pictures of woman in skirts that fell just below their knees had the caption "Modest skirt." This bothered me a little because I felt they were saying that skirts above the knee (most of mine) were not modest. I know that's not what they were saying, but that's how it felt.

    I decided to start researching what is modesty. I started googling modesty and quickly realized that Google and the secular world would be no help. I opened my You Version Bible app and started looking for a Bible study. I found one called, "Modesty: The Truth About Clothing." God used it to bless, teach and encourage me. He reminded me that it's less about my hem length and more about focusing my heart on pleasing Jesus and not others.

    These are the summaries/my reflections from each day of the devotional section. I didn't add in all the scripture they provided, mainly because after looking at the verses surrounding some of the ones they picked, they didn't seem to be in the context of the Bible Study.

    Day 1 - The Freedom of Modesty. "It's a lifestyle, not a clothing style." Is my favourite line from the entire study. 

    It's about ensuring that our actions, including clothing choices, are pointing people to Jesus and not to ourselves. It's about showing Jesus to the world around us. About a month ago, I decided that I no longer wanted to bend over, mainly at work. I don't want my butt to be in the air if I can avoid it. Whenever possible, I do squats instead of bending at the waste. I do it in honour/respect of my husband. After I started reading this Bible study it occurred to me that God was directing me to be modest in the way I carry/hold my body. Reminding me that the way I move my body, including twisting, turning, bending, etc is also part of being modest.

    1 Peter 3:3-4 NIV "Your beauty should not come from outward adornments, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that if your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gently and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." We shouldn't rely on our outward appearance for our looks.

    Day 2 - What Modesty is not. 

    God didn't create modesty with rules and regulations for us to follow. He never said that modesty is or was based on your hem length or whether your shoulders are covered. Which leaves plenty of room for personal choices, conviction and freedom. He gives us examples of modesty, some of which are culturally based. He doesn't want us to follow rules, but instead to follow Him. Because rule followers are simply religious people. He wants faithful followers whom He has a personal relationship with, not religious people. He may even give you different convictions about your hem length than someone else. He simply wants us to follow Him and not the world around us.

    1 Timothy 2:9-10 "I also want woman to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for woman who profess to worship God." In this culture, braided hair, expensive clothing and jewelry were a sign of wealth and pride. Not characteristics of a woman who professes faith in Christ. Wealth is not bad, but boasting about it is.

    1st Corinthians 6:19-20 "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." This passage talks specifically about sexual immorality, but I think it can apply to other areas like clothing and our health in general. It's not respectful to treat our bodies poorly. We are to honour God with our body and I think that includes wearing appropriate clothing in appropriate settings.

    Romans 12:2 "Do not conform to the patterns of this word, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will."

    Day 3 The purpose of Modesty.

    Modesty is not about keeping people from looking at you. It's about you looking towards God. It's about holiness and focusing more on your relationship with God. Meaning that as you pursue a relationship with our Heavenly Father, He will direct your steps toward holiness, which may affect your clothing choices. Depending on how "modest" you are without the Holy Spirit's prompting.

    Holiness is hindered by our self-driven nature. We focus on ourselves and Him. Which is the opposite of why God created us. It is about being set apart for God.

    I'm a big believer in dressing fashionably, yet modestly. As a young woman, I want to show the younger generation of young girls that you can enjoy dressing fashionably all while leaving plenty to the imagination. 

    1 Samuel 16:7, "But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

    1 Peter 2:9, "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

    Day 4 freedom of modesty

    As in many areas of life, there are people on both sides of the spectrum. Those who say that less skin shows the better and those who want to show as much as they can. I believe that God also convicts us all differently and that too is okay.

    By dressing modestly, we are free to not worry about what others think and say and allows us to focus on Jesus. By being under God's protection and covering we no longer feel the need to seek others' praise or approval. We long to be loved and pursued by God and not man. God loves us and wants to pursue us. If we are dressing in a way to seek the approval of others, we are going after the wrong praises. Modesty is a guide to living with freedom and protection.

    Day 5 Modesty is a choice

    Meaning it's our choice. A choice of obedience to God. God still loves us though even if we don't choose modesty. But there are blessings to be reaped if we do choose to follow God in this area of our life. It's choosing to submit to God and to know that His ways are higher than ours. He is allowing us to take a step of obedience and then submission followed by trust. Start by digging into scripture and seeking other women who have gone before you down this journey.

    I hope you enjoyed this journey as much as I have and hopefully learned something new as well. I pray this post blesses and encourages you today, friend.

God Bless

~Hannah

Hamilton Museum of Steam and Technology. Featured as the outside of the morgue in Murdoch Mysteries. One of my favourite TV shows.