Two of the things I struggle with the most in my life are my self-worth/value and comparison. The rest of the things I struggle with all stem from those two. Right now I'm working on a Bible study on comparison. The biggest things I compare myself against with other is my fitness level, diet and how much they can do all at once. Ex. Work full-time, run a house, full-time student, raise kids, etc. How many things can they juggle well in any given season? And then there's me. I struggle with working full-time, running a home, spending time with my family and enjoying my hobbies.
I'm working through a Bible study on the topic of comparison. One of the things I have come to learn/realize is that comparison is a waste of time and energy. I was having a hard time with the topic last Saturday. It took me down for a little while
After working through it, I was at my sewing machine finishing up my latest dress project. I realized right then and there that comparison is a waste of time. Because instead of getting upset and then getting into an argument with hubby. I could have simply continued on with the task I was doing and then headed to my sewing machine early and finished the project sooner. But instead of enjoying my life and all the things that God has given me and I get to do, I was wasting time comparing my life to someone else's life who didn't know and likely doesn't care because they are enjoying their life. I was chatting to a coworker about my struggles with comparison and sharing a few of the above areas in which I compare myself to others. Interestingly enough, I don't care about wage differences. If you make more money than I do, I'm happy for you. There are a few other topics that I don't feel the need to compare with others, but the wage difference was an interesting realization. We had been discussing wages and such, and it occurred to me that I don’t care about that difference. There are other areas, of course, that I do not compare myself against other people with either. Another area I don’t compare myself with others is clothing choices. I don’t care what you wear. The immodest fashions of today drive me bonkers, but I don’t feel bad about how I dress. Anyways, there are some areas that I do compare myself with others and some I do not.
Day 1. A heart at peace
'A sound heart is life to the body, But envy is rottenness to the bones. ' Proverbs 14:30 NKJV
The author asked how old you were when you first started comparing yourself to others. As I thought back, I realized that like many of us, I have been comparing myself to others my whole life. Not always in a bad light mind you, but always comparing myself to others. But it didn't start bothering me until I was in my teen years. The verse used for today's devo talks about being at peace with yourself. It was both convicting and encouraging, and like every other word found in Scripture, correct. If I had been at peace with myself that morning and many other times, I would not have lost out on enjoying any of my day. I'm also working on practicing gratitude. I’m trying to thank God more often for everything and working on changing my mindset/perspective.
Day 2. You don't know their fertilizer.
"But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For each of you shall bear his own load. Galatians 6:4-5 NKJV
The author reminds us of the downfall and the trap that social media can be. We see people's nice posts. Their highlight reel, and unconsciously start comparing our selves to them. Now, it would be one thing if we were comparing their highlight reel to our highlight reel, but we aren't. We are comparing their spotless kitchen to the pile of dishes in our sink. The problem with this is that we are comparing apples to oranges. Two different things. We also don't know the work that went into getting that post. That vacation picture that you saw, is it on credit or paid in full? Or did the couple have a fight 30 min before the picture was taken? Hopefully not. Point is, though, we don't know what work they had to put in order to get that picture. Personally, I have become very intentional about what I post on social media. Am I posting to brag about my latest sewing project or to help encourage someone along their journey? Admittedly, a little of both sometimes.
The author also reminds us of the work that likely went into that post. Do you want to put in all the work that person put into getting that post? Maybe you do, in which case, use them as motivation to help you get where you want to go. But, more likely, you don't. Another good question. Did that person get there on their own strength, or did God bless them? As the author put it, 'You could be in your own lane, faithfully obeying, comparing yourself to someone who is not even in the will of God. That is a dangerous metric to live by." This statement hit home in all the right places. They also worded it this way: 'Comparison is so dangerous, you could end up comparing where God has you to where the devil has them.' Also helpful.
I am part way through this study, and already God has healed so much of my heart. I pray that it heals your heart before you finish reading it too.
There are a few other reflection questions for day two.
1. Think about someone you've recently compared yourself to. What do you actually know about their story? The two people I was comparing myself to that morning. I know some of their story, but much of it I do not. I do know that they have both seen hard times, though. I can also imagine the one person encouraging me not to compare myself to them.
2. Are you willing to go through the process that it took them to obtain the things that they have that you want? I don’t have the time or energy to obtain the things that they have. One of them is a major athlete. Yes, I would like to be fitter and work out more, but I have no desire to be at their level. The other one has a very high level of education. I would love to finish my bachelor’s degree, but I don’t care to go further than that. As I do these reflection questions myself, I realize just how silly it is to compare myself to these people. Hubby and I were discussing my struggles with comparison the other day, and he was reminding me that part, if not the whole root cause of it, is that I don’t know who I am or like who I am. He has a point. Something else I’m working on.
3. Are they in God's will? Are you comparing yourself to someone else's detour? I do not know where these two people stand with the Lord. I know that one of them was raised to know the Lord, but I do not know where they stand now, and I don’t know the other person’s faith background. I do know that I am in the will of God though.
'A sound heart is life to the body, But envy is rottenness to the bones. ' Proverbs 14:30 NKJV
The author asked how old you were when you first started comparing yourself to others. As I thought back, I realized that like many of us, I have been comparing myself to others my whole life. Not always in a bad light mind you, but always comparing myself to others. But it didn't start bothering me until I was in my teen years. The verse used for today's devo talks about being at peace with yourself. It was both convicting and encouraging, and like every other word found in Scripture, correct. If I had been at peace with myself that morning and many other times, I would not have lost out on enjoying any of my day. I'm also working on practicing gratitude. I’m trying to thank God more often for everything and working on changing my mindset/perspective.
Day 2. You don't know their fertilizer.
"But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For each of you shall bear his own load. Galatians 6:4-5 NKJV
The author reminds us of the downfall and the trap that social media can be. We see people's nice posts. Their highlight reel, and unconsciously start comparing our selves to them. Now, it would be one thing if we were comparing their highlight reel to our highlight reel, but we aren't. We are comparing their spotless kitchen to the pile of dishes in our sink. The problem with this is that we are comparing apples to oranges. Two different things. We also don't know the work that went into getting that post. That vacation picture that you saw, is it on credit or paid in full? Or did the couple have a fight 30 min before the picture was taken? Hopefully not. Point is, though, we don't know what work they had to put in order to get that picture. Personally, I have become very intentional about what I post on social media. Am I posting to brag about my latest sewing project or to help encourage someone along their journey? Admittedly, a little of both sometimes.
The author also reminds us of the work that likely went into that post. Do you want to put in all the work that person put into getting that post? Maybe you do, in which case, use them as motivation to help you get where you want to go. But, more likely, you don't. Another good question. Did that person get there on their own strength, or did God bless them? As the author put it, 'You could be in your own lane, faithfully obeying, comparing yourself to someone who is not even in the will of God. That is a dangerous metric to live by." This statement hit home in all the right places. They also worded it this way: 'Comparison is so dangerous, you could end up comparing where God has you to where the devil has them.' Also helpful.
I am part way through this study, and already God has healed so much of my heart. I pray that it heals your heart before you finish reading it too.
There are a few other reflection questions for day two.
1. Think about someone you've recently compared yourself to. What do you actually know about their story? The two people I was comparing myself to that morning. I know some of their story, but much of it I do not. I do know that they have both seen hard times, though. I can also imagine the one person encouraging me not to compare myself to them.
2. Are you willing to go through the process that it took them to obtain the things that they have that you want? I don’t have the time or energy to obtain the things that they have. One of them is a major athlete. Yes, I would like to be fitter and work out more, but I have no desire to be at their level. The other one has a very high level of education. I would love to finish my bachelor’s degree, but I don’t care to go further than that. As I do these reflection questions myself, I realize just how silly it is to compare myself to these people. Hubby and I were discussing my struggles with comparison the other day, and he was reminding me that part, if not the whole root cause of it, is that I don’t know who I am or like who I am. He has a point. Something else I’m working on.
3. Are they in God's will? Are you comparing yourself to someone else's detour? I do not know where these two people stand with the Lord. I know that one of them was raised to know the Lord, but I do not know where they stand now, and I don’t know the other person’s faith background. I do know that I am in the will of God though.
I pray this blesses, encourages, and challenges you in whatever way you need today, friend.
God Bless
~Hannah
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