Imagine Heaven by John Burke.

    I'm currently halfway through reading Imagine Heaven by John Burke. This book has changed my view of Heaven and is changing my mindset and encouraging me through my hesitations about my death one day.

    I don't question my salvation or where I will spend eternity. Although, the enemy does try to make me question my salvation. Then I remind him and myself that I've had a personal relationship with my Lord and Savior for most of my life and that I believe every word in The Bible.

    My biggest hesitation towards my death and going to Heaven is that my physical death might be painful. I don't want to be in pain in my final moments. Of course that all depends on how I die. When I think about my death or death in general I imagine someone in a hospital bed clinging to their loved ones scared. I guess I've seen too many movies where someone dies. Because when I picture that scene in my mind, I'm not the one in the bed, and it's not my family standing around the bed. It's someone else.

    When I think past that image and think about where I am in life, I'm content to go home to Heaven if God calls me home sooner rather than later. Do I want to die tomorrow? No. But I would die without regrets. I have a happy marriage, and those who matter to me know that I love them. Yes, there are more things I would like to do before I die, but in general, I'm good. I don't mean for any of this to sound morbid or anything. Simply reflecting.

    Anyway, the more near-death experiences I read about in this book, the more I see that not only do these people not feel any pain or at least don't remember it when they died, which has been encouraging. But most importantly, I'm in awe and wonder at these people's descriptions of how beautiful Heaven will be.

    Yes, the Bible does tell us about Heaven and what it will be like. But if I'm honest I sometimes forget just how beautiful and amazing Heaven will be. God is using this book to bless, encourage, teach and remind me of what Heaven will be like.

Now to put my journal down, and finish reading the book and see what else God wants to reveal to me.

I pray this encourages and blesses you this evening, friend.

God Bless

~Hannah

Maybe, there will be flowers in Heaven like this one.

He is The God of Big Things and Little Things.

    He is The creator of the universe. He made heaven and earth and everything in it. He sent His one and only son to die on the cross to save us from our sins. He heals broken bones and hearts and cures diseases that the medical world calls fatal.  The list goes on and on of all the ways that He shows us that He is the God of big things.

    Today, He reminded me that He is also the God of little things. The little things that are unique to us individually.

    This morning, I headed off to my local secondhand stores in search of some new skirts and dresses. After getting out of the library and before driving over to the first second-hand store, I prayed. I do not remember my exact words. All I remember is asking for success in my shopping trip. I drove over to the first store to discover that they were closed for the long weekend. Fair enough, everyone wants to enjoy their long weekend. I tried the second store to find the same thing. I reluctantly decided to drive to Chatham and see what Goodwill and Value Village had to offer.

    At Goodwill, the first skirt I laid my eyes on was a beautiful dark blue maxi skirt. A perfect fit. I praised God as I walked out of the store with my purchase.

    Then, I headed to Value Village. Where I found a light grey and white striped maxi skirt and a pretty light pink scarf to accessorize with. Another perfect fit and a beautiful blessing. I walked out singing praise and thanking God for this second blessing.

    I came home, put together my new outfits and excitedly shared with family and friends. I'm excited to wear one of the outfits to church tomorrow and then the second on our Family Day holiday  Monday.

    God is faithful, friend. In the big life-altering events and the small every day "insignificant" things. He is a good father and wants to bless His children with good gifts. These two skirts and the scarf fit beautifully into the good gift category.

    So I ask you friend, where are you seeing God in the "small things?"  Is it a day of rest after a long hall of work?  A sunny day after what feels like weeks of grey overcast days? A new episode of your favourite TV show? An overdue coffee date with an old friend? Whatever the activity, where are you seeing God work in your life?

I pray this post blesses you today, friend.

Happy Family Day weekend.

God Bless

~Hannah

Learning To Be More Compassionate Towards Hubby.

    Compassion has never been my strong suit. If I haven't been in your shoes. I cannot sympathize with you. I believe this is why God has allowed me to see some of the struggles I have seen over the years.

    One of the areas that I have never struggled with is my weight. I have always been small with a fast metabolism and a small appetite. I have "struggled" to keep weight on. I have worked some physically demanding jobs over the years and had to find the balance between healthy and higher-calorie foods to maintain my weight. Once, a coworker criticized me for how much I ate. I told her if she had my metabolism and my job, we wouldn't be having this conversation. She was also an incredibly ignorant human being.

    I have always desired to eat healthily and with the help of my temperamental gut, I eat a lot of salad. I also love chocolate and pasta. I try to find a balance between the three.

    I have spent years proud of my "struggle" to keep weight on. In reality, it wasn't hard, and God has recently convicted me of my victim mentality towards the number on the scale. In January I consequently gained weight and became obsessed with it. So much so that my relationship with God took a hit. It dawned on me one morning that my prayer life had been lacking. I started wondering why. The Holy Spirit quickly informed me that it was because I had been distracted and obsessed with my weight. I then asked Him why He allowed my metabolism to change. He told me He had changed it for me to learn to be more compassionate towards my husband's weight and the support he needed from me. I said, "Okay, sounds good."

    So, I started being more intentional and helpful with what we were eating. I started making hubby a nice sandwich for lunch with lots of veggies and, more importantly, became more intentional with supper. Less carbs/pasta and more veggies and proteins. I wasn't supporting my hubby to the best of my abilities. I was feeding us suppers that worked for me, but not for him and therefore, us.

    So now I'm glad that God changed my metabolism. I'm still struggling with my chocolate intake. I would prefer to eat less of it to be healthier, but I also love eating it. I have a game plan now. I just need to act it out properly and be disciplined.

    It has also dawned on me through this experience that I have a much less healthy relationship with food and the bathroom scale than I thought. Or better yet, would allow myself to admit to.

    Two weeks ago when I got on the scale and saw that the efforts that I had been putting in were not working as well as I had expected. I still have an "extra" three pounds on. I lost it. I broke down. Angry that I was getting "fat" and so on. It has since occurred to me that I have a much less healthy relationship with food and the bathroom scale than I would allow myself to admit to. I have spent the last few days thinking that maybe my body is simply changing with age. My clothing still fits the way they did before so those three pounds don't matter. I know that I am getting distracted again and trying to discern God's will in all this. I am trying to focus on eating healthy and exercising and allowing God to take care of the rest. But it's hard, friend.

    I have since returned to my preferred weight. I have learned to be more compassionate towards my husband and his dietary needs. I have discovered a handful of new recipes that we both enjoy and that are in line with his needs. Which blesses my heart as a wife. Now, God and I need to work on my mental health and relationship with food. The bottom line is that God has a plan and a purpose for everything that we go through. Even if it doesn't seem like a "God" thing. Like putting on a few extra pounds. He has a reason.

I pray this post blesses you today, friend.

God Bless

~Hannah

"The Garden," makes me wonder about the garden of Eden.

Time Does Not Equal Energy

    Time does not equal energy. It's a principle that has taken me my whole adult life thus far to learn.

    I have spent years looking at my calendar and thinking that because I had the time for an event/activity I also had the energy. Ah, wrong. I have spent years overfilling my days and weeks and then getting overtired, worn out and unpleasant to be and be around. I expect myself to have endless energy. I'm also a people pleaser. Combine those two characteristics, and you have a deadly combination.

    This past week, one of my supervisors came to me and asked if I wanted to come in on Saturday and do overtime. I told her I had to talk to my hubby and get back to her the next day. After work, I talked to hubby, and he lovingly reminded me that I was already tired (it was only Tuesday) and worn out, and did I want to add more to that. I said no and thanked him for his wisdom and encouragement. I then spent the rest of the week grateful for his wisdom.

    On Friday, a coworker was sharing what her evening would look like. She had an evening of cleaning with her mom at her sibling's school and was now dreading her decision to work on Saturday morning. She was to work all day Friday, Friday evening and Saturday morning and then run errands Saturday afternoon. Her situation was sounding all too familiar to my week. But in reverse. Mondays are my long days in which I work two jobs, and now she was about to work two jobs on Friday. I encouraged her to cancel overtime on Saturday and enjoy her weekend like hubby had encouraged me to do. She took my suggestion and decided to cancel the optional overtime.

    It finally occurred to me that time does not equal energy. We both had the time and availability to work Saturday morning, but neither of us had the energy to do so. It was at this moment that I finally learned this lesson. I'm finally learning that time does not equal energy. I need to check my calendar and energy levels and ask myself if I have the energy needed to participate in whatever activity is being asked of me. I don't allow myself to admit that it takes time and energy to recover from a regular full forty-hour work week. And even more time to recover if you work more than forty hours a week.

    I'm so glad that I have finally learned this lesson. I think I unknowly practiced it this week, which is pretty cool. Hopefully, I will continue to practice it intentionally and unintentionally. We are doing extra hours at work, so instead of working eight hours a day I now work 9 hours Monday - Thursday and eight hours on Friday. I usually do groceries on Thursdays but realized two weeks ago that I don't have the energy to do groceries after nine hours, so I switched to Fridays. So far so good. This past week I decided to try buying my groceries online and just picking it up at my designated time. Oh my goodness, best decision ever. Instead of getting off work, walking Blessing, doing groceries, and just barely squeezing in supper before going to bed. I decided that on Thursday, instead of doing groceries after our walk. I would make supper and then sit at my computer in the comfort of my home and order our groceries. I went to bed that night nowhere near as drained as I would have otherwise. Then, Friday evening, I headed to Walmart and picked up my groceries without any fuss or energy lost. Best decision ever.

    How about you, friend? Do you struggle with overcommitting yourself and not having enough energy to complete the task? God didn't create us to overwork and never rest. He created us to work hard and rest well.

I pray this post blesses and encourages you today, friend.

God Bless

~Hannah

My Parents at Point Peele National Park this past August.

A Cup of Tea

    With her cup of tea in hand, Amanda looked outside her kitchen window into their snowy backyard. She and her family had just moved to the country and were now proud owners of an acre of land. She and her husband were raised in the country but moved to the city after their wedding. After the birth of their second child, they wanted to move back to the country. It took three years to find the right property. Finally, on their wedding anniversary, a new property was listed. It was perfect. Three months later, on a bright sunny July morning, they had the keys to their new home and a moving van full of all that made up their life.

    Fast forward through a few months of unpacking and settling in, and now she was enjoying her morning cup of tea and daydreaming about all the fun they would have this coming winter. This morning was the first snowfall, which always felt so magical to her.

    She was very excited about all the prospects that their land offered. On the north end of the property, they had a hill that the previous owner had built for sledding in the winter. In the west end, they had a pond that would make a wonderful skating rink. The possibilities for winter fun were endless.

    She took a deep breath and another sip of tea and thought back to all the fun she had as a young girl on her parent's land. She spent hours skating on their pond, teaching herself to figure skate, and once she got tired of that, she would go sliding on their hill. She and her brother built igloos and had snowball fights with their parents. Some days, it would be kids against parents or girls against boys. Either way, it was a blast.

    Living in the big city in the south for the last five years, her children hadn't experienced much snow. Or any of the fun winter activities that she grew up with. It's hard to find a hill to slide down in a big city with flat terrain. She was eager to share her memories and make new ones with her family.

    She took another sip and smiled at the plans they had for that day. She and her husband were going to take their children shopping for skates and sleds. They had all their snow clothes and such, but they didn't have skates yet. Their children, Josh and Anna, five and three, were ready to learn. She was so excited to teach her children the same way she and her brother learned to skate. On the family pond.

    She heard her husband coming down the hall and into the kitchen. Binging her back from her daydream. It was time to start the day. He came up behind her, hugged her and kissed her cheek. She shared her excitement with him about their winter fun prospects.

    She took one last sip of her tea and started making the pancake batter for breakfast. Their children would be awake by the time the first pancakes were ready.

    She loved her morning cup of tea. It gave her the chance to daydream about all the exciting things in her life. She loved getting up early before her husband and children and enjoying the stillness of their home before they started their day. Today was no different.

I made a fun fictional writing prompt and let my imagination run with it.

I hope you are enjoying this not-so-snowy "winter" afternoon friend.

God Bless

~Hannah

Recognizing Satan's Attacks

     This morning I woke up feeling "quit" which is usually a sign that my depression is flaring up and it's going to be a rough day. I wasn't feeling bad yet though. Just quiet.

    My mood started to get visibly worse around 10 am and by 11:30 I was on the couch, scrolling on my phone falling into a funk. Last night I told hubby I wanted to go lane swimming at the pool on Saturday afternoon. While I was lying on the couch feeling depressed I realized I wasn't going to be able to go swimming. I fell asleep asleep shortly after. At 2:30 I woke up from my nap feeling like myself again. Lane swimming was now over, so I took Blessing for a walk. It occurred to me when I woke up that Satan had been attacking me and preventing me from going swimming which is an activity that I love and am trying to do regularly now.

    I decided then and there that I would try again tomorrow and not let Satan have his way. I feel a little silly for not seeing his tactics earlier, but I know for next time.

    The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10.

    After I had journaled this post, I thought of how it was not a "fun" or "nice" post. It's not a post about something exciting that happened this weekend or how God answered a prayer. It is a post about struggle and the human condition. I then asked myself what the Holy Spirit would say in response to it. He would remind me of the Psalms where David is crying out to God in anguish. Ps. 6:3 "My soul is in anguish." He would remind me that not every day is a good day, and that's okay. The Holy Spirit didn't directly speak to me in this encounter, I simply asked myself what He would say, and this is what I believe He would say.

    It's now been a week since this happened. This weekend was much better than last, and I got to enjoy several more of the activities that I love. Including a good workout in the pool through 40 minutes worth of lane swimming. Now, I have to find the right balance between how many activities I can enjoy during the week and on the weekends and how much time I can spend on each activity without exhausting myself and burning out. Stay tuned for the answer. 😊

Have a blessed sleep tonight, my friend and a wonderful new work week tomorrow morning.

God Bless

~Hannah

Took this picture when I first started doing photography. I look back now and see what I "should have" done for an even better shot and am grateful for how far I have come and all I have learned. I'm excited to continue developing my photography skills and blessing my family with this God given passion.

Also, pro tip, if you don't love the photo, put it in black and white and it "fixes" it. 😄

2023 - A Year of Recovery

    I left 2022 with all kinds of ideas of what 2023 would look like. And all those hopes and dreams crashed and burned mid-January when I received a bill from the government saying they wanted their money back from COVID.

    I had set aside money for figure skating lessons and was hoping to start them in February/March 2023. So I put that money toward that bill and let income tax finish the rest. The rest of the year was simply dealing with one curve ball after the next, as life often goes. I quickly forgot all about the goals I had, and that's okay.

    We accomplished other goals instead. We both went to therapy and got the help that we needed. God confirmed my gift of writing, and I have loved sharing my blog with you. We figured out what was causing Blessing's excitement peeing problem and now have the answer. I left my part-time job at a banquet hall and started doing dishes at a local restaurant instead. Looking back, we accomplished a whole lot more than I thought we had.

    When I was thinking about my goals for this year, I thought, "Why bother? I didn't accomplish them this year, what makes next year any different?" Which is true. I didn't accomplish what I wanted but, I did get other things done which were equally important.

    I still consider it a year of recovery from COVID-19 and hopefully,  this next year will be even better with new dreams and fewer curve balls.

    I have heard from a handful of friends that 2023 was not a great year. To those of you who had some struggles, whether 2, 20 or even 200. I'm sorry to hear that. I pray that 2024 brings less heartache and more blessings.

    I have been thinking about what my goals for this year will be. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I didn't spend a whole lot of time praying over them. Or at least not as much time as I had expected to. When I realized that the goals I had last year were probably still not attainable, which is fine. I asked the Holy Spirit to show me what my goals would be for this next year. He didn't speak directly to my heart like He often does, but I believe He reminded me of other goals and dreams that were birthed just this past year. Goals and dreams that on a surface level are probably more "relaxed" than last year, but still equally "impressive."

    I'm a little sad that the dreams I had last year may never come true. But I also need to remember that I'm not the woman I was last year or the girl I was years ago, and that's a good thing. I have changed, and so have my hopes and dreams. And who knows, maybe that one dream will come true one day, but for now it's okay that it hasn't.

    If you did accomplish all your goals this past year friend. Congratulations! Well done. I hope that this year is even more successful. If you are like me and didn't accomplish your goals or not the goals you had set out to accomplish. I'm sorry friend, I hope and pray that this year goes better for you.

Have a blessed afternoon friend.

God Bless

~Hannah

New year means new journal and new pen.